Merry Christmas!

Ok, I scratched lavenderdaydreams.wordpress.com blog when I was able to keep my host! So I can be found at lavenderdaydreams.com/lavsblog. I plan on moving all of these posts to wordpress, btw!

Sorry for confusion.

Laters

just don't ask what happened

*sigh*

http://lavenderdaydreams.wordpress.com

testing

what the heck?

WordPress

I have moved to word press. Email me for the addy if ya want it. :D

dawndschaak@gmail.com

Happy Thanksgiveing All!

"Feminism is the radical notion that women are people."
-Cheris Kramarae & Paula Treichler

I am still alive... I think. :p

The Heroine

I wrote a story called The Heroine and you can go see it over at Flashes of Speculation!

So, what do ya think???

Stupid evil bitch

Below is an email conversation C had with his instructor. She is a doctor something or other AND keep in mind that the class she teaches is Critical Thinking Skills. she also goes on and on about logic in her class. I will not be taking any classes from this whore anytime soon.

From: lav's wolf
Sent: Monday, October 22, 2007 9:48 PM
To: stupid teacher
Subject: peer evaluation

i know i submitted my peer eval on Wednesday the 17th.

From: stupid instructor
No submission. According to directions, if you do not complete an evaluation for your team members, you will receive a 0 on for this assignment, regardless of how your team members rate you.

From: lav's wolf
Sent: Wednesday, October 24, 2007 8:37 AM
Subject: Re: peer evaluation

is it not attaching my file? it says it is attached when i submit it.

From: stupid instructor
It was too late, Chantz. I'm sorry. This was one assignment that had to be submitted on time.

From: lav's wolf
Sent: Wednesday, October 24, 2007 9:16 AM

i did submit it on time i am trying to figure out why it did not go though. i pulled over in a truck stop and did homework for 4 hours. thats why i know i did it. i was just wondering if it was the attachment that did not go though or the whole thing?

From: stupid instructor
There was nothing attached prior to the due date as I indicated in the second to last e-mail I sent you, Chantz. I can only go by what I have on my end. I will post the screen print again.

From: lav's wolf
Sent: Wednesday, October 24, 2007 10:56 AM
So I did submit something, just without an attachment. That is what I was unsure of. I figured that if you received a submission -on time- without the attachment that you would come to the logical conclusion that an error had been made and needed correcting. I and my wife both take devry online classes have had this problem. It could be a problem with the dropbox. It is sending the messages with out the attaching document. This is a technical error that needs to be addressed. Or, perhaps it could have been human error and that I forgot to send an attachment. I did try however, as you can see, to submit this assignment. In my wife's situation, her teacher understood that it was a simple mistake, either on her part or on the part of the drop box, and accepted the assignment late. We will contact the devry help desk about the issue with the dropbox, as well as our advisers. Hopefully this problem will be resolved soon. I would hate for this to continue happening in other classes I plan to take.

Thank you so very much for being so supportive and helpful in this situation and for being understanding of my problem. (sent carbon copy of this email to the advisor)

From: The Queen bitch of stupid instructors
Chantz, there was no indication that you had logged on. The website keeps accurate track of when are where each student logs on.

From: lav's wolf
Sent: Wednesday, October 24, 2007 5:56 PM
Well then how does that explain the other assignments that I turned in on the 17th? I can see them with their dates when I look at the drop box. (attached two screenshots of evidence)

From: The Cunt
I don’t know. I wish I had all the answers to these questions.

Oh, I see, lady. I was correct in my first assumption. You were just making that not logging on shit up. hey, can you guys tell when I jumped in and took over for big C?

Grrr, Argh

Know what pisses me off? All these so called "sexy" Halloween costumes for women. So in order for a woman to be sexy she needs to wear a very short skirt, dress like a little girl, or wear an extremely skimpy costume?

Wake up America and get the fuck over yourself. It's not "drive all the men spitting wild and get your self raped day." It's Halloweffinween!

Brought to you by Pissed off Fat Mama!

too much

An email from Candy: "What's going on with you - are you okay? I worry when I don't hear from you."

My reply:

i am so-so
less crazy, still confused
paranoia is gone (didn't know i had it before)
still overwhelmed. still spending too much money. still stressed and frustrated. still not sleeping at night.
been reading or watching tv.
BUT i am trying to get stuff done. try to get austin into mental health, no answer, left message, no call back. try to get kids to doctor, phone busy.
am skipping tessa's piano lessons today. its too much.
girl scouts 2x/month, science club and piano lessons???
the lesson is at 4:30. rush hour traffic!? schools letting out!? missing dinner time every friday!? its too much
i am getting dinner ready right now, we are going to eat, and watch a movie i bought and stay the fuck home
c is on his way home
THANK GOD.
i am a tad tired and run down, brandy still has a cold. class is going well. i have a 99%

Dinah and the Mites

These kittens and their mom need a new home! They are so adorable. Read their story over at http://dinahandthemites.blogspot.com/.

"Well, that time has come. Dinah and her Mites are ready to go to their Forever Homes.
If you would like to adopt Dinah and/or a Mite or two and you meet the following criteria:

1. Loving home (INDOOR ONLY)

2. Provide plenty of attention

3. Would be willing to keep us updated by blogging (if you don't know how to blog, we will be happy to teach you!) or at least keep in touch every now and then.

PLEASE LET US KNOW THAT YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ADOPTING. (We've used Continental to fly kitties everywhere, so the mites can travel if necessary)

The Mites were checked out at Houston Cat Hospital and came through with flying colors. We had each Mite individually checked for disease, rather than selecting a random kitten or two. All of them tested negative. They didn't have ear problems, fleas or anything other problems, even though they all received preventive treatment.
These are very sociable kittens, affectionate, active. One thing to suggest would be adopting a pair if you have no other cats. These Mites can really play and they are very close.
Thank you all for your help. We've used Continental to fly kitties everywhere, so the mites can travel if necessary -- they charge by weight, so it wouldn't cost that much to fly a Mite! If anyone wants information on how the Mites would "fly", here is the website. If you want to adopt a mite and can't afford the flight fee, arrangements can and will be made to pay it for you!"
http://www.continental.com/web/en-US/content/travel/animals/default.aspx

Willis, Texas (Inequality)

Which house would you live in? Which can you afford? Which one is mine? I will let you guess!

1.

2.

That is a mattress sticking out the window, next to the shopping cart!

3.
4.

This house is on stilts:

5.

That's not a blurry picture, its smoke from the fire:

6.
7.
8.
9.

Wah

I have a bladder infection/UTI and am miserable. I am tired, too. My doctor apt isn't until Monday, and I can't afford to go any sooner than that. It's actually to get my blood work for my lithium levels.

What I have been taking:
Cranberry pills and Azo. The Azo is a bladder pain reliever and antibacterial. The cranberry pills prevents the bacteria from sticking to my bladder. They work as long as I continuously take them, and drink enormous amounts of water. Since I forgot to take them yesterday (only once!), I am drinking the cranberry juice, too.

But I hurt.

I googled UTS's of course, and know what I found out!? It's icky... The bacteria living in my bladder is EColi! Ewww! Nasty! That is just so freaking gross. Yuck!

Proclamation?

This is a word for word copy of an email I received today. Tell me in the comments just what you think about it. :D Go ahead, give me your opinions!

Someone Finally Said It
(And it's long over-due.)
Proud To Be White
Someone finally said it
How many are actually paying attention to this?
There are African Americans,
Mexican Americans,
Asian Americans,
Arab Americans,
Native Americans, etc.
...And then there are just -
Americans.
You pass me on the street
and sneer in my direction.
You Call me "White boy,"
"Cracker," "Honkey,"
"Whitey," "Caveman,"
... And that's OK.
But when I call you Nigger,
Kike, Towel head,
Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey,
Beaner, Gook, or Chink
... You call me a racist.
You say that whites commit a lot
of violence against you,
so why are the ghettos the most
dangerous places to live?
You have the United Negro College Fund.
You have Martin Luther King Day.
You have Black History Month.
You have Cesar Chavez Day.
You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi.
You Have Yom Hashoah.
You have the NAACP.
And you have BET.
If we had WET
(White Entertainment Television)
... We'd be racists.
If we had a White Pride Day
... You would call us racists.
If we had White History Month
... We'd be racists.
If we had any organization for only whites
to "advance" OUR lives
... We'd be racists.
We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce,
a Black Chamber of Commerce,
and then we just have the plain
Chamber of Commerce.
Wonder who pays for that?
If we had a college fund that only gave
white students scholarships
... You know we'd be racists.
There are over 60 openly-proclaimed
Black-only Colleges in the US ,
yet if there were "White-only Colleges"
... THAT would be a racist college.
In the Million Man March,
you believed that you were
marching for your race and rights.
If we marched for our race and rights,
... You would call us racists.
You are proud to be black,
brown, yellow and orange,
and you're not afraid to announce it.
But when we announce our white pride
... You call us racists.
You rob us,
carjack us,
and shoot at us.
But, when a white police officer
shoots a black gang member
or beats up a black drug-dealer
who is running from the LAW and
posing a threat to ALL of society
... You call him a racist.
I am proud.
... But, you call me a racist.
Why is it that only
whites
can be racists?
There is nothing improper about this e-mail.
Let's see which of you are proud enough to send it on.

It's been a while...

I have been on anti depressants for a few years now, and guess what?

"Research has shown that people with bipolar disorder are at risk of switching into mania or hypomania, or of developing rapid cycling, during treatment with antidepressant medication."

They only made things worse! I might have been less depressed, but my episodes of Mania increased. Ni-i-i-ice!

A new semester starts tomorrow, for both me and Chantz. I don't have my final grade yet; the exam is part essay and takes longer to grade. Chantz is going to school for (computer) game design. How cool is that?

Oh, yeah. It's also big C's and my 11th wedding anniversary.

Laters!

First Day of School

I am up! And I am driving Austin to school because the bus comes at 5:45 am for middle and high schoolers! That is just nuts. He doesn't need to be there until 7:10. I wanted to leave at 6:30 this morning, but Austin didn't sleep well last night and is lagging a tad bit. A simple threat of the youth officer dragging him off to school in his PJ's and then spending tomorrow at Boot Camp got him up and rolling.

Seriously.

Tessa wasn't able to sleep either. I know this because she kept waking me up last night to tell me. She is passed out on my floor now. So I reset my alarm and will call her to wake her ass up. This is going to be so much fun!

I slept like a baby, however. Life is wonderful!


Oh, and I love this quote:

"A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider to be God-fearing and pious."
-- Aristotle, 343 B.C.

This is a test

Remember those damn broadcasting tests? How annoying.

So far so good

I ain't dead yet. That's good! No terrible scary side effects from the new meds, and all is good.

**Update**

I got in to see my doctor today after I really started to wig out. We threw out the Trazadone, and got a prescription for Lithium... it's only $4/bottle. I need to have blood work done in two weeks with this med, though, because it has some possible nasty side effects. It won't make me crazy though. Liver damage or crazy??? Ok, I will take crazy... but its worth a try.

I'm blanking losing it!!!

I am off that new med! I should go see the Dr again, but I can't afford it right now! She won't put me on any Bi Polar meds because she doesn't think I can pay for it. She only prescribes me what is on Wal-Mart's $4 list. Gee thanks.

Here I am taking Wellbutrin ill*g@lly because she won't prescribe me that, either. Prozac doesn't cut it, because I am in Manic mode right now, and yeah, that Trazadone will knock me out right now, and half off tomorrow! Doesn't do me any good, does it?

For the past few days:
I can't think... formulate thoughts.
I forget what I am doing.
I get confused.
I am edgy and lose it easy.
I don't care about school, and am lagging this week. Don't even want to post. Am willing to lose a few points (for Christ's sake, I only missed two so far and next week is the last. I think I can spare a few).
See? There is something wrong with me.
I have no filter... no angel conscience that tells me, no, you shouldn't die the ends of your hair lavender, because its an extra $20!

Hey, I am no longer two toned... sort of. Before I had 3 inch roots of ash blond hair, the ugliest color on the planet, dull, drab, and blah! The rest was faded red, that I had stripped out. It was horrid.

Now I am all over blond (10), that is more golden, and two thin strands in front are lavender, and the ends are too. Even my layer. (I only have two layers, so...)

I love it, it looks great. I got up at 6 this morning, PUT MAKE UP ON, and put curlers on the ends of my ponytail. And no nappies, either! I am still going on 6 hours sleep, when those monster pills made me sluggish with 12!

Yes, I have been Manic since six o'clock, and fear I cannot slow down.

DeVry sent me a bill for $600, though they told me I would have enough fin aid this semester. Riiight. What is really very clever is the *past due* amount of $250. They never sent me a previous bill! So anyone with a spare 600 bucks just lying around.... call me.

...Not!


Oh yeah, one more thing. Oh wait, never mind. I can't post that idea. Ask me via email about my plan to get bi polar meds. NO NOT ILL%G#LLY! Sheesh, peoples. Just teasin'!

:D

What's up with you?

Have you seen this? It's great! I am totally encouraging you to go look!

I went to my friend, Jan's, house today. We ended up stuffing 7 kids in my van and headed to the park. Once we got there, and everyone was sucking down snow cones, we wondered, "what the hell were we thinking?? It's August in Texas! Who the hell goes to the park in August??"

I think next time it will be the pool. We came back and stopped at my new neighbors house so Jan could take a look at their Dachshund pups. Jan's wiener dog had gotten run over, and she was preggers, (terribly, terribly sad!) and she is looking for a new dog; an inside, house dog! They have two to give away, and Jan is going to take two of them home in about three weeks. Ain't that sweet?

My kitty, Molly, no longer tries to eat us. Here's a tip: canned cat food can make kitties aggressive! Now she is all sweet and loverly again.

School is going just fine, and I am happy with it. My grades so far are amazing! I also recently got a new prescription for my depression. I am sorry to say it does nothing for my big mouth, however. It's called trazodone, and it is to be taken at night; the fluoxetine (prozac) is still to be taken in the mornings.

I am a google junkie, (seriously, you should see my track marks!) and I had to google that drug. I found it at wikipedia, another addiction of mine, and guess what? A side effect of it is an increased sex drive!!! Wooo hooo!

Oh and I bought a hypnotherapy cd set from Wendi.com. :D

I've been Nab'd

What do you think about that?

---

And isn't this the most hideous thing you have ever seen? (Not the boy, the sofa, people!)

Musings, not amused

What is the politically correct term for black people in England?
Why do I get so overwhelmed?
Why is Bruce too much all the time?
Why am I such a spaz?
Why am I not as good a mommy as I was a year ago?
Why is my porch such a disaster?
Why do I get stuck doing shit I don't want to do?
Why do I feel guilty when I do something for myself?
Why are babies so cute?
Why do baby girls lift their dresses over there heads?
Why is peek-a-boo so fascinating for babies?
Why can't I screw in a screw into the wall with out stripping it out?
I hate not being able to finish something I start.
So if I don't think I can, i won't try.
The bookcase in my room is disastrous.
There is an overwhelming amount of laundry to do, the floor needs to be mopped, there is barbeque sauce on the wall by the table, and toys everywhere.
It takes forever just to sweep this floor, and even longer to get it in shape to be mopped.
Tomorrow it will looks just as gross anyway so why bother?
I hate disappointing Chantz.
I spend money I don't have when I am stressed out.
I want him home!
I am tired of these trips to Montana.
They were supposed to get a new driver. That was the plan.
They don't care. No one fucking cares.
Why don't people understand simple English?
Why is the following concept so difficult for them to understand?
Why don't they care about me?
Why don't I matter?

I still can't do this by myself!!!

The Title Is "I'm Fine"

I just finished reading The Bourne Identity and it was excellent. One of the best books I have ever read. Too bad the movie didn't follow the book! Let's see, what do the two have in common with each other? Well there's this guy with amnesia who goes to this bank and a hotel, meets some chic who helps him and people are trying to kill him. If you read it, you will hate what hollywood did to Marie's character! This isn't really a spoiler, but the real Marie St Jacques has a doctorate, works for the Canadian government, and is a technical analyst in Zurich for a conference. Which means she is very, very fucking smart.

Oh what the hell. The man known as Jason Bourne was never, I repeat, NEVER an assassin. He was only pretending to be one to flush out Carlos.

See? Hollywood screws everything up.

Oh wait, people wanted to know about me right? Ok, I am fine. My husband was fine and was even nice and attentive for the last two weeks. He is on the road to MT and although I don't really miss him, I can't wait for him to get his ass back here and give me some.

Yes, I just said that. Oh and since EVERYONE (ahem, Doozie) is so nosy, I will let you know just how attentive my husband has been. Close your eyes little ones, Dawn is going to talk about SEX.

So we are fucking, and we are making this funny, wet slapping noise. You know it, you have heard it and done it and know how damn funny it is. We stop, but I start laughing so hard that he came. Yup. I LAUGHED my husband off. Who of you can say that you have done that?

I have other stories of the last two weeks, too. And unless you want to hear all about my anal adventures, all y'all just might want to put up with the shit I post, when I post it. So there.

*spitty tongue noises* :p

Seriously guys, thanks for worrying . Things are better and brighter. For the moment. :D

Oh so true!

Your Hidden Passion Number is 5

You love travel, change, and new challenges. You are highly adaptable and versatile. You have a talent for languages, and are generally good with words. Writing, promotion, and public relations work suit you perfectly.

You are sensual and a bit impulsive. You love to satisfy your senses, which can get you into trouble. Overindulgence in food, drink, sex, and drugs are common among people with too many 5s -- six or more. (I do not have that many fives, only 2 I think. This girl is mostly 9s!)

You are resourceful and original. You have a good sense of humor and a quick tongue.

Your desire for freedom is extremely strong and it will take effort and discipline to stick with whatever it is you started. There is a tendency to give up a project or situation prematurely.

You may be interested in too many things, which can make it hard for you to apply yourself to one area successfully.

You are very unconventional.

Commitment in relationships and your work is fundamental to your happiness. You may have a tendency to wander from person to person, job to job, making depth of relationship or deep expertise difficult.

All this came from entering my birthdate and my name as its on my birth certificate. How totally cool is that?

Luke Skywalker

Boldly striving to overcome the darkness both in this world and within yourself, you are righteously devoted to forging your own destiny.

It's your choice, but I warn you not to underestimate my powers.

Luke is a character in the Star Wars universe. For more information, see his character entry at the Star Wars Databank.

I am in school

And that's why I haven't been around much lately! I like it, too. I also am thinking about getting a part time job.

Laters!

Hi

Dear Dawn,
Here is your AstroSlam
for Saturday, July 14:

Some people see the glass as half full; others, as half empty -- you, however, don't care, because you know that the glass contains poison. Would it kill you to be just a little bit positive?


On another note, I had to fall asleep last night imagining my husbands arms wrapped around me, keeping me safe. He comes home soon, but I am not too sure about when.

I am also not so sure I know how well we are going to get along, either.

Thanks for the support guys!

i am falling apart

and i don't know how to put myself back together again.


don't bother calling the kings horses and the kings men, because they don't give a fucking shit.

Where Am I?

Dear Dawn,
Here is your AstroSlam
for Wednesday, July 4:

You're perfectly capable of entertaining yourself. Really, friendship and love are totally overrated -- and you know it. A lifetime of solitaire and word-search puzzles suits you just fine.


That is so much closer to the truth than anyone knows, I think. I am going to Houston today to register for classes at DeVry. I didn't sleep well last night and I am going to be so tired by this afternoon. I am up very early so I can do this and get everything done on time. Funny that I am here instead!

We didn't go to a fireworks display; we had our own. I was a brat though, and came inside with Brandy, who didn't like it much, because it isn't fun for me to run around and watch the babies while everyone else has a good time. C and his mom watched the kids and let the fireworks off and had a good time without me. I heard about it later, though.

I am tired of being a mom who never gets out or has any fun. It just reminds me of when Austin and Tessa were little and I had to give up everything for them. No one here wants to hear this shit though, so I get to use my blog for what it was originally intended... an outlet for my angst. LOL "Angst" I like that word... makes me sound so... you know.

Sometimes I wonder where my fiery spirit went. Is it hidden?

Or lost forever?

i don't know what the fuck to write

i am tired. i stayed up late reading Stray, a book by Rachel Vincent. It's good, probably considered horror genre since it is about werecats and gets a little bloody and gory, but it isn't scary. I really liked it, although it took an unexpected trip into a basement with a cage and some really very bad men. our heroin kicks super ass though, so all's good.

i just ate a leftover burger that was a tad charred on one side, and that taste is stuck in my mouth right now. wanna kiss or something???

the cat is molesting me, and attacking my ass. now she is after the laptop. the router is broke, i found it the other day, with no power lights on, and it was sloshy. i am pretty sure bruce poured water into it somehow. ain't he cute and sweet? there isn't a cord long enough to reach my computer with out the router in between, so here i am in the closet, sitting on a hard kitchen chair, typing away on this puny thing. oh, and the a/c doesn't work in here, but it's where his "office" is.

did i mention i am tired? i don't want to clean today. i hate cleaning. it is one thing i am passionate about anymore. but some days i don't mind it and even like it. i seriously need to get to the doctor to get some bipolar meds. this shit is just unacceptable.

and my mouth still tastes like charred beef ass, so this girl is going to bring this post to an end now. oh and if you don't like that i didn't use capitalization, then FOAD.

mu ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!

oh btw, i signed up for devry. i will be taking online classes and should be able to get my bachelor's degree in a yeah and a half. woo hoo! don't worry, their semesters are 16 weeks long, divided into two 8 week sessions. so i won't be taking more than two classes at a time. i start on July 8th. i already have an AA degree and that is why it won't take me long to finish, if you care to know. and i have to go to houston on the fifth to the devry campus... yeah right. i am not driving myself. no effing way. C or someone is taking my fat ass down there.

yes, i am a glutton for punishment. how did you know?

Welcome to My Life

Ok, brandy had a bath, I got her lotioned and diapered and dressed, and went to get a bottle ready, turned on yahoo messenger, and she climbed into the walk in shower with Bruce. Yup fully clothed.

And now there is a naked baby boy running up and down the hallway, very happy. I don't think he is tired one bit.

*Sigh* at least I got The Sims to work. Then I lost internet. I talked to the tech support guys -"outsourced" of course- and both cordless phones are not working. So I run back and forth back and forth to give him all these numbers, and he tells me to POWER CYCLE THE MODEM. That means unplug it and plug it back in in nontechnical language! And I know this! Why didn't I think of this?

Welcome to my life! And I am not even frazzled. I wonder why not?

***update***
Bruce was the first to fall asleep last night. I was comopletely surprised!

Today's AstroSlam for Capricorn

"You should seriously consider stepping out of your comfort zone today. If your first impulse is to say yes then for God's sake say no. If your impulse is you say yes, pause a minute to reflect, then say no."


Astrology.com

And blah blah blah

I don't have issues, Paris has issues.
I am tired, lonely, and confused.
I am happy, and funny, and playful.
I get pleasure from pleasing others, and this is not abnormal!
I am sick and tired, and I hate being ridiculed.
Sometimes I read more into things than I should.
I can be a real pain in the ass.
People bug me.
I like being alone.
I love the internet.
My favorite place is sitting on my throne in front of the computer. I even eat here.
I am easily frustrated.
Sometimes boys really irritate me.
I am a very sexual person.
But I tend not to show it.
I keep stuff looked up inside.
I have a very good imagination.
I like to sleep.
But not at night.
I have crazy dreams at night and feel as though I slept hardly at all.
I love information and finding out about stuff.
I am horrified that I had my two sons circumcised.
Would you allow the doctor to remove part of your daughter's clitoris?
Yes, it is the same thing.
I am going to bed now.

Hair or Bare?

... down there?

Leave me your answers, boys and girls, and any tips if you have them, in the comments section. And for those of you too embarrassed, remember that I allow anonymous comments!

Now I have heard it all

I really don't know what to say, except that this is the dumbest shit I have ever heard. To me the bible is an allegory. I am educated; I went to a Christian, Catholic, Benedictine University, and I must say, that even what I learned in my church history class contradicts most of the hog wash accepted by the church. And for you sticklers of faith out there who believe this stuff because it is in the bible, then I ask you why you believe in a bunch of shit that is not found in the bible. And if you don't know what I am talking about, just ask.

So go I tell you, and read all about the Answers in Genesis Creation Museum.

I may be pagan now, but I was raised a born again Christian. There is a reason I walked away. Wonder if this type of stupidity has anything to do with it?

Look At Me!

He is home, and now I am adjusting. I am very tired. Had a few busy days and watched a very depressing and emotionally draining season of ballykissangel.

It was so very sad.

It's Here!

Thank you Candy!!!! You rock! Check out her new website.

Ann Stretton rocks, too. She is the divine artist who created this beauty draped around my neck. She even blogs!

A Cat Post

All About ME

This post is all about me! I have been busy cleaning and trying to straighten out this disaster of a life, with the help of an online friend of mine, but I will go into that in a later post.

I have also been working on a project for my friend Candace. It is fun, demanding and time consuming, but I love it! I am almost complete, and will show it off when I get the ok from her. Ok she said yes! ECandaceWilliams.com

I am feeling very lonely lately. The kids are out for summer vacation and Austin went with Chantz to Montana. They have been gone for a week and won't be leaving until the 8th! I have been asking when is coming home; he said he didn't know. Then he tells me his test to get a CDL for a Semi (his now is different) is on the 7th... well thanks for telling me that. I don't think he omitted it on purpose, but because he is, well, he is just that way, *L*.

I know I promised a chat room for my blog, but it costs money, though only a small amount, I am lacking the funds and time to do it right now. I do plan on it, just give me some time, thanks.

Feel free to drop me a line by email or by comment, or IM me, whatever. I need the strength of my friends now more than ever!

Brandy's Birthday, May 15th

Molly

Some more pictures

Internet Malfunctioning

And that is why I have not been around. I am lucky to have a connection right now at all. I am on the laptop and I hate this thing, so don't expect too much from me, K? The desktop has no connection at all.

I am going to go take a nap. I am extremely tired. It's withdrawals I tell ya!!

Happy 1st Birthday Baby Munchkin Butt!

I love you sweetie!!!!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day!

Mine sucked and we will leave it at that. The shit was so crazy that half of you wouldn't believe me!!!

Bill, my mom's husband, (sorry, I have never called him my step dad, that place is reserved, with contempt, for Saint John,) arrived here yesterday. Wow! that sentence could be nominated for the sentence with the most commas! He drove here from Montana in this itty bitty 2 seater car. It's cute. Ma was so excited when he finally arrived in our town. Before that she was an anxious pain in the butt, lol!

They are going with the realtor today to look at more houses and I think, to revisit some we already looked at. I don't think I am invited though!

Brandy's first birthday is tomorrow! How great is that? Dad, is going to miss it though because he is in Montana. Poor daddy!

Fred Q suggested at his blog to come up with a theme. He says no one wants to here about our cats. Hmmm... but I just got a new cat. Her name is Molly and she is 5 1/2 weeks old. Black and white spots, and adorable!!!

Should I give my blog a theme?
Should I leave it the way it is?
Leave a your opinions in the comment section!

Chat

The votes are in and after pay day I will be putting in a chat room! How cool is that??

I have joined an awesome 3D chat thing and is highly addictive. Just ask Candace. I can invite you, if you like. Leave a line in the comments. Later!

Chat with me?

I have the option of putting a flash based chat room on my website. If you would be interested in chatting with me and whoever drops by, let me know in the comments and I will put one up!!

ttyl

My Mommy

Ma is here, finally! We spent today looking at houses. This is our favorite one. Aren't those cabinets beautiful? The fire place is open to the living and dining rooms. It's a three bedroom, 2 bath house with out a garage.

We have lots more looking to do, so wish us luck!!

Bored Now

And I have nothing to say. My mom should be coming to visit when the inlaws come home... she will hitch a ride with them.

I love this outfit here, but it isn't in my size or my price range. I would like to make it myself maybe! I don't know though, maybe mom and I can do something like this!

Later, I have dolling to do.

Gypsy's Interview

Ok, here's your interview! (From Gypsy)

1. What are your five favorite books?

Hollows Series by Kim Harrison (Every Which Way But Dead*)
Acorna Series by Ann Macaffrey
Firekeeper Saga by Janke Lindskold
Shanarra Series (in its entirety) by Terry Brooks
The Elenium by David and Leigh Eddings

2. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I am lazy, I often feel run down and tired,I get sick pretty easy, and have suffered lifelong depression. If I could change one thing, it would be my health.

3. What do you believe in?

Santa Claus
Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Spirit
The goddess
The horned god
The All
Myself
Magic
Spiritual Faerie Creatures (fairies, pixies, gnomes, undines, salamanders, sylphs, angels)

4. If you could go back in time and meet one person from history, who would it be and why?

I would like to go back in time and spend a week with a frontier family. I would help them and learn from them, and see how they really lived. The knowledge would be indispensable and the experience one of a kind.

5. What do you wish for your kids?

"That they live long and prosper," find happiness, stay true to themselves, and that they keep in touch with their family.

DIRECTIONS FOR THE INTERVIEW MEME
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

My life, in a conversation

"Don't you have homework to do?" I asked.

"Don't you have a house to clean?"

Damn! She's good.

Boo Hoo

I have a fucking cold!

A Busy Week

The garden is planted. Cucumbers, dill, garlic, potatoes, tomatoes, jalapeño peppers, onions, leaf lettuce, melons, pumpkins, yellow sweet corn, red sweet corn, sugar snap peas, spaghetti squash and buttercup squash. The last one I had to get by special request from Montana via Alice. They don't sell buttercup squash here. Four strawberry plants are planted up by the house next to some flowers I put in. A huge tire in sitting close by the porch and my little flower garden, waiting for play sand to fill it. An 18 inch deep wading pool is taking up half of my back porch. Austin mowed the lawn today using the riding mower and C put concrete in around the septic system sprinklers. I followed them home from the mils today, C on the big blue tractor and Austin on the riding mower, about a mile on the main road. Our ditches are level now and he used the tractor to get the massive tire off the trailer. Seriously, this thing is huge.

My herbal and flower garden has not gone in yet. I haven't figured out where I want it yet, and I am not too sure right now where my herb seeds are. Oops. I really want to get my lavender planted. I have been neglecting my spiritual studies, too. I really need to start reading and doing my exercises, but I keep putting it off. I guess it is the same with every belief system, isn't it?

Unconscious Mutterings Week 219

This meme I picked up from Jayne. It is called Unconscious Mutterings; it is a free association exercise.

1. Freeze :: flow
2. Naturally :: fried
3. Painting :: surreal
4. Merits :: horses
5. Ironic :: totally and absolutely; susceptible
6. Survival :: freedom; entrenched
7. Cow :: moo; blue and gold
8. Anchor :: weigh; particles
9. Sisters :: grooming
10. 70 :: one

This was hard for me because instead of words coming to mind, I got jumbled images. Those are much harder to interpret and put into words. It is too early for my mind, I think. This is a personal endeavor and I am not tagging anyone.

I like being in the dark

I am the most politically uninformed person on the planet, and I am proud of it! I am not being saturated with what I can and cannot say; a bit only trickles in here and there. Imus who? Ha! I wouldn't know who Obama was if it weren't for Candace over at Chapterhouse for Christ's sake!

At least when I used People PC, I got daily sound bites... snippets of current events, but even that is gone now. Pop culture to me is what I see on the covers of gossip magazines in line at the checkout counter. Do I really give a shit if Br@d and Angelin@ are having issues? Or if T0m and whats her face are in some kind of crazy marriage? No fucking way. I am not bombarded with anything, and it has to do with self control.

If you don't like what you are seeing or hearing on TV or the radio, change the fucking channel. Shut your goddamn browser. Take control of your life, and just walk away.

Don't feed the trolls.

**Update**
I am mostly talking about political incorrect stuff, but everyone comments on the gossip part... part those who go on rampages over what someone said, are gossiping. If we stop listening to these people, then it doesn't matter what they say, because we took away their audience.

Fine, I will put up a new post already

Sheesh! Any more creepy obnoxious comments in the middle of the night, though, and I might have to call the popo out here.

"Um, hello? Can you send an officer out to blank lane?" I imagine myself whimpering into the phone. Then the dispatcher asks me why, and I say, "I think I am being stalked and harassed. Someone left a creepy message on my blog."

Click.

~~~~~~~~~

So, I thought my upper left wisdom tooth was coming in because it is sore when I touch my gum. Yeah, I know. Stupid. The dentist said he didn't see anything on my xray and it didn't look like it was poking through. So I let it slide, and he "drilled, filled and billed" two of my molars. Ouch! He hurt my cheek and my gums! I swear this time, I am going to call and make my next appointment with his partner, the gentle older man.

So anyway, I figure that my gum is swollen so maybe I have an abscess or something? Then last night I was farting around and I slipped my fingernail up under my gum behind that last tooth. Yuck! Salty liquid gushed out and it was all sunken in and shrivelly- for a minute. Then it filled back up again. So I brushed and flossed and rinsed thoroughly, and waited until I felt pressure, ran to the sink, and whoosh- salty taste, rinse, repeat! How gross is that? It pretty much feels normal now. I don't think it was pus, because that is bitter tasting. In junior high my lower wisdoms were pulled and I had and infection that leaked pus. This wasn't like that at all. This just tasted like salt water... or snot.

I am not going into how I know what snot tastes like. We are just not going there, ok?

I downloaded this free 3D program called DAZ tonight, and I swore I was going to open it up right away and read the tutorials and actually use it this time. Instead I got sidetracked looking for doll bases that I thought looked like Rachel and Ivy from Kim Harrison's witch series. Yes, I am that lame. I found them, too! Rachel is a redheaded witch, from Irish descent, and Ivy is a living vampire, with black hair, and exotic almost Asian features. Rachel and Ivy are best friends, roommates and business partners. I am obsessed right now ok? I am rereading all the books and am surprised at how much I missed in the beginning. Like, duh, Kim set that up!

If you didn't think I was lame yet for what I just wrote, you will when I finish. I joined the author's yahoo group. At least I have the email set to digest! I only log in if one of the entries catches my eye, or if I am bored. Kim posts comments herself and even responds to our questions, and it is fun and refreshing, so there. I never joined a fan club as a kid you know. I was to embarrassed because I didn't know what I was supposed to send to them to join, because they never said! Yup, loser then and loser now.

These two characters have another partner. A four inch pixy with dragon fly wings named Jenks. He is married and has 54 kids and lives in their garden, which is between the church they live in and the graveyard. They are "runners"- kind of like PI's slash cops and they catch bad guys, mess around with demons and magic, and try not to push each others buttons so that Ivy doesn't vamp out and attack Rachel.

The series is great, so there, and this is my blog, so I will talk about it. It is past one in the morning and I am tired, wore out, and edgy. I could really use some Starbucks right now. It just sounds really very good.

*sigh*

I can't wait to get started on my dolls!

Band

Austin had band tryouts on Tuesday at the Middle School. He tried the trumpet, percussion, saxophone and trombone. The teacher who was testing the percussion doesn't teach it anymore, but he remembers Austin from the Music Screening they did at the elementary school and he wants to teach Austin himself, because he thinks he would make a good musician! How cool is that? He said that Austin looked like he would be good at the Trombone or Trumpet and that we should try those too. His score for percussion was ok, but he got "good" for the rest! He has a "good buzz"!

So now we wait and see where they put him next year. The kids get a whole class time for instruction in their instrument. Austin prefers the trumpet, but I am sure he will be happy with whatever he gets. And to tell you the truth, his first day trying out the trumpet he sounded better than my brother ever did! HA!

Candy Day Pictures

Easter Eggs Made With Natural Egg Dyes

I used water, vinegar and cabbage leaves for the icky light purple and water, vinegar and yellow onion skins for the dark red brown eggs. They were put in raw and boiled with the dye. I got the "recipes" from Lady Tawodi.
The flash is too bright here, I think:


After I added some oil to shine them up.

Snowing in Fairfield,Texas

Big C sent to this photo to me a few minutes ago. It may be cold here in Willis, and a tad bit rainy, but it is Snowing in Fairfield, TX!!! He is on his way to Dallas, and I am including a map, because that is the kind of girl I am!!!

I finished my Kim Harrison book, for a few demons more this morning! Her books are very addictive. I am finally done with all the ones I have, so I can start sleeping again at night! I have a tendency to stay up all hours reading. The world she created is totally fascinating, and it is still running through my head. I shouldn't read so fast. I should read a chapter at a time and let it sink in, but I don't and I can't. I am thinking of starting the series over.

I put a few flowers out in pots on my back porch and cleaned it up a bit. I want it to look cozy and it is starting to finally. God I have nothing to say.

We dyed easter eggs and got our easter shopping done the other night. We go all out for the traditional Easter Bunny Easter Festivities. I am even thinking about getting the kids pics taken at walmart for Easter.

When I was a kid, my parents always hid our Easter Baskets on us. But then I met Chantz and they ridiculed me to death about that. The baskets are never hidden in our home, only the eggs. One year me and Chantz woke up to find a few dozen eggs hidden all over our yard! I have believed in the Easter Bunny ever since then. Easter makes me very hungry for ham! yummy!

So what do you guys do for Easter?

Beanie wants...

Beanie wants me to do a meme that she made up.I am supposed to come up with 10 things that no one talks about anymore that I think people should talk about and then tag 5 people. Lets see?

1. pro life or pro choice? I don't here this come up so much anymore
2. why babies like to play in toilets- they do it all the time, but no one ever talks about it. you never here mommies saying, "Well my daughter dropped her pacifier in the toilet and them sucked on it," and the other mommy saying, "My son threw my cell phone in the toilet, beat that!"
3. Why dogs like to eat shit. Ain't that just gross? They will eat it anywhere, anytime, anyone's!!!
4. God Bret Michaels was got back in the day! Why doesn't anyone talk about Poison?

5. banana seat bikes- where did they all go?
6. The old Dr Who TV series- does anyone remember what it was about?
7. Those weird guys on Laverne and Shirley- I swear I here their voices on cartoons sometimes.
8. Why isn't the "but its my birthday, mommy!" joke funny anymore?
9. Politically incorrect topics- lets talk about them. Like, why do we still financially support native americans? People got conquered for centuries. Get over it, right? Right?? :P
10. The origins of "MEME"- What the fuck does meme mean? And how the fuck do I pronounce it???? Where does it come from?

Um, I tag Candy and Marlee and thats enough. Sorry beanie!

So, I have been thinking about going back to college. De Vry has an online degree program and I want to go to school from home. I have this thing though about responsibility. I am afraid to get training for a job, because I think what if I can't do it? I like web development, but I am also drawn to another one. I need to think about this. C asked me why I want to go to school and I lied to him. I want to go back so I don't have to be dependent on him. that way, of he ever decides to leave me, I can support myself and our kids. I told its because the kids will be in school in a few years and I am not going to stay home then. I said I want to contribute to the family. But mostly, I want to feel needed and valuable and I want to be protected in case something ever happens to him ... or he gets sick of me and kicks my wild lazy ass out, ha ha ha!

Beanie also wants to know the story behind the firemen. Isn't she nosy? Ok, I went to the pet store to get a bigger bird cage for my finches and I brought Brandy with me. I used the button on the key to unlock both sides of the car and I set the keys on the seat, thinking I shouldn't but I hate digging them out of my pocket or purse again, because I can't hold them and put Brandy in her seat. It was raining out, and I had the back windows shut, and I loaded baby and stuff up, and shut the door. I don't normally shut the side door until I go around and open my door, just in case this happens, but it was raining, remember? I shut it, and it was locked. There is no way to lock the entire van from the side door, and I had put the keys on the front seat. It beeps when it locks from the keys and I did not hear a beep! I think it locked itself. I went back in to Pet Smart and a kids came out who had a thingy to unlock it in his truck. Well, it didn't work. This nice family came and she offered to call the police for me after not finding a hanger in a clothing store in the strip mall. A police officer came out followed by a fire truck (sirens and everything- because it had to navigate I45!) and the cop comes up and asks me what happened.
"I put the baby in the van and set the keys down and shut the door! She is locked in!"
He chuckled. A good natured cop. I was afraid I would get a ticket or something. I wasn't scared because I knew it would be ok, deep down, but afterward a fireman said she could have run out of air, or gotten to hot even in that mild weather! I was jittery on the way home.

The nice lady's kids entertained brandy through the window and she was happy. I thought to take a picture of the truck just after they wedged my door open and stuck this thingy in there to unlock the doors. Then I saw that they had gone into my van and got her out! Um, yeah, I should have done that but I was a bit detached and overwhelmed by the whole thing. We were drawing a crowd and I thought no one would ever believe me, so I took a few more pics on the digital camera. A fireman gave her a stuffed dalmatian and we went home.

Then end.

Oh, and it is Palm Sunday, April fools day, and there's a full moon out tonight! What a fucking combination.

Firemen to The Rescue

Look at that cute baby flirting with her rescuers!

Brandy holding her stuffed Conroe fire dept Dalmatian, face red from crying because mommy put her back!