New doll

Here is a doll I made for a contest I am participating in. Remember this is mine, so no stealing, FredCQ!

(I kill me...)



The base is from embraceyourinnerpink.com. I swear that name makes me giggle. Oh I am so not feeling good today. I am a bit loopy and haven't even had any cold medicine!

The neat background with the column- I made that. I actually have a much bigger image for this doll. All from scratch. *sigh*

I am still sick. It has moved to my chest. I even drank tea! Black of course because I think sweetened tea is discusting. And I am burping up the fish oil pill I took. Bleck.

I am all sweaty and gross- I took a shower last night before bed! I have an itchy cough and I am so tired. It snowed, the kids are home (no school today, but they had school on Monday, go figure) and the boys are playing xbox. A dumb shrek game that they don't like; they must be bored. Who knows what Tessa is doing. Maybe she will let me read to her. This way I get to read a book and not get shit for it. Reading is very addictive.

Gotta go now, bye!

I

am sick and so I am going to take a long hot bath with bubbles, read Redwall and pass out. I made cookies today and joined a health club and picked up my taxes which only cost $60 and it is way cheaper than it should be and that is so cool. I may not be around because I hate being sick and am going to try to suck sympathy from Chantz. It never works, but I must try.

bye bye!

*sigh*

When I don't have anything to say, is that when I actually have the most? The house is gross. I got behind last week when Chantz was home because I felt sick and let him cook supper. He cleaned up the first meal, but not the second because he had to leave. When I cook I fill the sink and wash dishes as I go. He didn't. I couldn't look at that mess with out feeling overwhelmed. Its cleaned up, but I am not caught up yet. I have dishes from last night on the counter and I want to cry. I'll do it, I won't leave that mess for him to see when he comes home tonight. I'll have to do the whole kitchen. Tessa made a mess in her room again and it'll take a week just to get her to clean it. Chantz "dumped" austin's closet- into a room that had been very clean. So now I have to get him to do that, too!

Let's see, I have laundry, the kitchen, the floors, the bathroom and my room to clean. I'll do the laundry and kitchen today and save the rest for tomorrow. This way I won't feel bad if I can't get those other things done, and will feel good if I stretch and get some of the tomorrow's done today. Tessa gets a very much needed hair cut today at 4! Finally! I found a picture of her with her best cut for her type of hair and I am taking it with. I also need to call and find out what the payoff on our pickup is so we can get that paid for. That is what we want to do with our refund this year: pay off our credit cards, the bed, the washer/dryer, the truck, my fine and past due bills. I also plan on purchasing a toddler bed and mattress for Bruce. It is a toss up between a wooden one and a cute blue Winnie the Pooh bed. There is a big baby sale at Kmart this week and I might have to get whatever is left.

I will probably have to put it on layaway, because our tax guy had a bad sinus infection last week and was not able to get our taxes in right away. Its a good thing I stopped by to check on it because he moved it to the top of the pile and he apologized profusely. So now we are not sure if it is going to come this Friday or next. This sucks because I told the people we owe money to that we were getting it on Friday. They did however expect me to mail the money in, so that gives me a week anyway. I will just pay by phone, I guess. I was hoping to get this over with. I hate owing people money. When we were first married we owed money on nothing and lived quite comfortably on minimum wage. Of course the kids are more expensive now and our gas bill is atrocious, but he makes a tad more than minimum wage, lol! (Bruce that just took off his clean diaper and tossed it on the desk, "ka ka ka.")

So if I get my cleaning done and get a shower in when and if babyboy naps, I can go to Kmart and check out that baby sale. Oh did I mention that I got the basement shower done? WE are going to test it now! Later!

"Tha's Ka Ka!"

Yum, we bought some Bar S polish dogs yesterday! They are so good! Or at least we think so. I offered Bruce a piece of it and like a good boy who tries and loves everything, he shoved it in his mouth, bun and all. Oh my! You should have seen the look on his face as he spit it out! He was disgusted!

Later, when Tessa came home from school, I offered her one. She likes them, too. She putz's around the kitchen for a few minuses and then sits in the rocking chair, polish dog and bun in hand. My little sweetie poo walks up to her, points at her food and emphatically exclaims, "Tha's Ka Ka!" If he could have, I am sure he would have put it in the garbage for her. It was sooo very funny! I think he was warning Tessa of the dangers of polish sausage!

Isn't he cute?

---

It is very cold here, about 20 below. I told Austin to sit in the car as he waited for the bus. But he stood there in the cold (uh, gee George...) I am like, Austin, get in the car!!! And the dumb bitch I call a dog? She takes off through the front door and out into the cold! And what do I think? You stupid dog, I hope you get run over and die! I hate you! Hmm, I really thought I had gotten over that. I am afraid because she is dangerous to strangers. She would probably bite someone who approached her. Plus she is a pure bred. Someone might (try to ) steal her. Then they would get bit! Did I mention it is freezing out? I got some baloney and tracked her down and got her in pretty quick. I hope this doesn't become a game of escape-get-baloney. Then I will get really mad!

Poor baby...

I've got 15 minutes!

Because Mike's wife forgot her "lunch" (RN, night shift) so Chantz is taking a break from everquest. Only because I asked. Isn't he nice?

Alice (mil) watched the heathens last night while we went to the Rainbow Club in Wibaux for a valentine's day dinner. He used to work there and everyone knows him and they usually have really good food. Usually. We got a table, got waited on, then we waited. And waited, but so was everyone else. We ordered the 2 for $40 special: one appetizer (moz chz stix), two entrees (8oz lobster tail, 14oz blackened ribeye, med rare) and a desert. We got the stix and then continued to wait, my salad by now long gone. And then the table next to us (my yoga instructor, btw) who came in after us, with the same server- got their food. Huh, they ordered the same thing as us, hmmm... and what? thats not the right potato? "Excuse me, we ordered before them.." "Sorry, once the ticket is up it is out of my hands."

Um, so she should have gone and looked, right? So we wait and wait and wait and if he didn't know them we would have left. So Chantz asks the other server if she'll go see if she can find our ticket; maybe it disappeared. So she tells our server who goes into the kitchen. We wait. She comes out and tells us our order will be ready soon. And it was. How ironic, that it is ready after she searches for it. C-"She probably forgot to put our ticket up. It wouldn't be the first time she has ever done that." Me- "We got the appetizer..." C- "How many people do you think ordered chz stix? She probably just took one that came up." Me- "Oh." And since she blamed everyone under the sun but herself, including the owner, that is what I am going with. We were there for HOURS. Three or four tables that came in after us got there food before we did! She should have checked when I said something. Or maybe I could have been more assertive.

Oh, and our food? It came with the wrong potato. Imagine that.

"Wha? Huh? Oh Lord, am I dumb!"

My MIL has the car and put the new door on it so it is drivable (yes, she is the perfect woman, I know. I concede this.) Chantz just needs to wire it in and put the inner panel on. He brought a carcharger from the shop and got my truck running! Yay! I wouldn't dream of driving his truck, it is massive.

Freedom at last! I even went to WIC and the grocery store alone today! It was heavenly... and the bath, oh the hot bath I had... splendor.

Guess who is sleeping again? But I can't blame him. He has spent much time on the road or in a hotel the last few weeks. He is wiped out.

And Katy, I haven't heard from you in a while. I feared you walked off the side of the earth (it is flat, you know!) And while I do love milk, it was for the baby. He eats food and drinks juice, but if he doesn't get his bottles of milk he gets pretty ornery (pronounced "onree", here in MT). I did drink some orange juice the other day, actually. I get all this juice from WIC and after a while apple and grape get boring. Know what Chantz brought up from Texas? Strawberries! Juicy, cold strawberries and I have been chowing on them so much I will probably awake in the morning to find I have turned bright red! He brought bags of oranges, too.

And oddly enough, my teeth don't hurt one bit (from the fruit, people- keep up). And Alice (the MIL) isn't just perfect for putting a car door on, or cleaning and vacuuming my car, or knowing everything else she knows, but mostly because of one little thing she said to me. 5 little words. I have many errands and Bruce goes with me, he is very heavy, I have a bad back, I carry him all over the place... do you see where I am going with this? So after one day of great pain, my mil asked me the simplest question that I am sure will alter my life forever, or at least until I pop this thing (the new baby) out of me. She said something so profound that I will never, at least for a while, complain about her use of our back door rather than the front door. So, do you know what she said to me? Huh? Do you?

She said, "Don't you have a stroller?"

Yay

He's Home!

It's Sunday!

I have a doll I am working on for a contest that I haven't finished yet. I know if I start I won't be able to stop untill it's done, so its on the backburner.

I spent yesterday working on a new template for Fred CQ. I couldn't get the blogger code to work in the new layout, so I simply customized his old one. I made the header graphic, it looks pretty cool. I would have saved much time just using the old one to begin with. I don't know why it wouldn't work, I have made many of my own. Probably a simple mistake!

Chantz never came home this morning, so I figured they were delivering the tools. I got a hold of him in Sidney (oddly, there is no coverage between towns!) and he is on his way to Williston, then hopefully he will come home. I really need the car! Gee wiz, they could of dropped it off on their way through town! But its ok, they are in a hurry and will be home in a few hours- three, maybe?

I am staying off, because if I start anything today I won't be able to stop! I am going upstairs to read The Mystery of Ireta.

La de da...

Chantz is coming home! He should be here late tomorrow night sometime. Hopefully he will get to stay, but if he does I may not be around for a few days, so don't spaz on me, now...

How about a list of some of the things I have done lately:

• Left the lights on in the truck and killed the battery. It is still dead and there is no one to help me get my car which I...
  
• Left at my MIL's house and we are out of milk. So I have to walk 8 blocks to Loaf and Jug tomorrow. Just great.
• Dyed my hair, finally. I think I was just bored with that color and that's why I put off doing it. I used a darker shade of red (burgundy, Garnier 100% Color) by the same brand as the lighter red. This one has more brown in it. The other was bright, but faded to carrot...
• Found out that my baby likes it when the kids smell his feet
• Smacked Rocksy's butt and gave her a major scolding like you wouldn't believe. Do you know what she did? She chewed on my bamboo stir fry spoon that I have had for 12 years!!!! It was the best wooden spoon ( it is almost flat) I have ever had, and was indestructible, or so I thought. Dumb *****! I think it may still be usable, but still makes me mad. It just isn't the same. So if someone wants to buy me a new Bamboo spoon...
• Trained Rocksy today. In the house, on the leash: heel, sit, heel, sit, down, stay (all with "good girl" praises). Then I had her sit, let go the leash, backed up a few feet and had her stay. Then I squatted down and called her to me and she came! But do you know what she did then? SHE PEED! Right on my carpet. We tried it again, she peed again! This is submissive peeing and it is the first time she has ever done that "for" me. I think it was last nights scolding (she pouted in the entry way for a long time afterwards) that did it.
  

That's all I can think of right now. I am going to pee and then read my book, The Mystery of Ireta by Anne McCaffrey.

;D

UPDATE

So Susie do very kindly informed me that it is time to update. Here are some of her questions:

"okay, it's time for you to update the darn blog. whats baby bruce up to? Hows Austin doing in school? Do his teachers like him?"


Bruce is doing great! He is toddling around the house like he owns the place. I bought a multi colored toy ball with bells inside at the dollar store and he loves to play ball with Tessa. He likes to throw it over the gate and make her go get it. She figured out to just go on the other side and toss it back and forth plays some tag game with him, too. It involves much screaming and giggling- from both of them. He had been a little crabby at times, but not as bad as before. He may be teething again. He is super well behaved. At the accountants yesterday he sat in a chair quietly sucking his thumb and rubbing his ear. So I gave him a Dum Dum sucker, which he sat there quietly eating. The tax guy was impressed. For dinner the other day, I put into a sectioned plate baked beans, corn, mashed potatoes and finely chopped pork. He ate the beans and corn by hand, played and ate the potatoes, but tossed the meat into a pile away from him- not scattered or on the floor, just in a pile over there. He didn't like it. How cute is that? He throws his garbage away, as well as toys and other objects he thinks should go in the trash, lol. He will shut the frig if I ask him to, and it makes hi giggle. He has a new game to play with rocksy, which she actually plays back... touch her tail, watch her spin around, do it again and giggle. Did I mention he likes to giggle?

Austin ran out of Zoloft this weekend and there was no refill so he was out until Monday, but I didn't remember to get it until yesterday. He has been cranky, but it is my fault. He thought last night that Bruce doesn't like him because he plays with Tessa but not him. I told him Tess made up games for him to play, and she spends more time with him while Austin is always in his room. He told me to make him play with Bruce! Then he calls me into his room, which he said was messy but was spotless when I went in there (?) and said he's ignoring me! Well Bruce was playing with his toy and Austin was calling him. He needs to go to Bruce, not the other way around! They got it figured out and will stick them together more often. Poor Austin's social skills are so bad he doesn't even know how to play with a baby. Not his fault though, it is the PDD. He is doing great in school; he goes for three hours starting today, instead of two. He works in the resource/special ed room (the two are connected) with an aide. I think he is the only special ed student, which is nice. T-F for 15 minutes his friends come down from the classroom and hang out with them. He went to k and first here so he knows students from before. On Monday he went to the classroom for science and lab, watched a film and got an A+ on his paper. Isn't that awesome? He is slowly being integrated into the mainstream classroom. They are doing excellent with him, an I think it is because of the thorough diagnoses he got in Bismarck.

Tessa is sleeping better and not so crabby in the mornings. She finally get addition and is excelling in her timed worksheets. She is onto subtaction and is frustrated, but she will get it. Ther are "regrouping" numbers, and boy do i feel stupid. I told her to ask Mrs. R what that was and so she came home and said I should know it as trading. ? Still lost. So I asked Mrs Crissafulli, Austin's Special Ed teacher, and she said it was borrowing and carrying over. I am such a dumbass. Why couldn't they jsut say that? So now I can help her. But she got confused on a problem and added rather than subtracted. I said tessa, you are borrowing, not carrying over. This makes sense to me, but regrouping means the same for both! Grrr.

I have to go now, I have a busy day and have to go to Fairview and Sidney (60mi one way).
Later,

;D

Noses and revenge

So I was sitting on the floor with Bruce and he was very happy and bouncing around and playing, and he walks over and pointing his finger at me he says "Zthat?" Ah, how cute... then he jabbed that little finger right up my nose! Owee, that hurt. Can you believe it? I got a bloody nose from 13 month old! Yikes...

Of course Chantz thought it was great when I told him. He gets his though. He's been calling me and bragging about the nice weather in Texas. He even called just to tell me he was watching my "favorite movie." I knew what he was talking about- "City of Angels!" I hate that movie, I hate it! The first time we watched it he got so excited. "Yes! That's awesome. Smack!" Jerk. "She didn't get run over by a truck, she ran into the truck!"

Remember I said he gets his? He and his dad are coming home right now and guess what? They have to get a load and go right back. By the time they get there (Texas) the other truck will be fixed, so guess what? You got it, they can turn around and come right home! It's really going to suck, though. Who knows how messed up this is going to get; things never go the way they are supposed to. He irritates me anymore when he is home anyway. When things get back to "normal" it won't be so bad. He was only home so much this last time because the truck was broke. He normally drives locally so we see him a lot more than when he has to go all the way to Conroe, but not as much as when he can't work...

I need to go to bed now. Seven comes so fast...

Howdy howdy howdy, I forgot what I was gonna say

Hey people, if you check this link when there is trouble, you will know what is going on with blogger: (http://status.blogger.com/) Here is an excerpt for those of you too lazy to click on links:

"Just a quick reminder that we will be going ahead with a planned network maintenance on Monday the 6th from 7PM-8PM PST. Blogger and Blog*Spot blogs will be unavailable during that time.
This maintenance won't fix everything, but it will make things better. I promise."
Posted by Pete at 21:18 PST

To find out what was wrong this weekend, you'll just have to go check for yourself because I am not your mom. I think. I am so many people's mom that I may get confused. Sometimes I just get that way.

Oh yeah, my schedule. I am waiting for the perfect planner. In the meantime I bought a 2 year planner for a buck at Albertson's. It will work for appointments. It is one of those checkbook shaped dohickies that isn't much more than a calendar. As for organizing, here is what I have been doing lately. In the mornings before I get to blog or watch TV or even turn on the PC, I clean the kitchen- dishes, counters, sweep, check the garbage (Austin takes it out- I ain't hiking my big prego butt all the way through the yard, to the alley, then down the alley to the middle and back again! No way!), the nuker, pick up any stray toys, toss the laundry downstairs (and wash it; drying- not always!), check the carpet and bathroom and table, etc. Now that I am caught up (my lord was that first day awful!) it only takes me a short while and I feel guilty if I use the PC. So now that I have a routine I am adding to it. I need to dust, check the entry, clean under the garbage can and that little hidden shelf needs to be cleaned up as well. Tomorrow I have to put all that laundry I washed away, and see if that last load I did today, that I have no intention of putting in the dryer tonight, needs to be rewashed or if it can go straight in the dryer. Rocksy needs to be trained; just ten minutes around the yard on her choke chain and 5 or so sitting, staying and laying down inside should do it. She escaped from Austin today; first time since I started her "regimen"- you know, when I became her master? Since she can be dangerous to poor passersby and oncoming traffic, I knew I had to get her right away! How to get her to come? Raw hamburger in the frig! I didn't need to get that messy, Tess was making a baloney sandwich and I grabbed a piece and went out. I squatted down where she could see me and started nibbling on it. When she came near I called her and stuck it out. Oh yeah, who's the man? She ran right up to me and devoured my hand (like I was letting go!) and I grabbed her with the other. No punishment, because then she won't come to me. I put her back on the chain and went my merry way.

Then I need to clean this basement. I need to get the clean matress pad and sheets on my bed- get the trash out and organize it a bit. The shower curtain needs to go up in the bathroom so we can use it. But this is just the "apartment" part. The rest is icky. Rocksy found paper towels- imagine the mess- and there is laundry lint abounds. So I need to sweep and vac. I just don't wanna! I need to call Frank's and make an appointment for our taxes, get stamps, pay these bills- PATH, AES, the credit card and my fine at the courthouse. Don't get your panties in a wad; it was for driving without insurance on the way to get insurance! And I ended up with Geico anyway!

Do I plan to get all that done in one day? No and that is why this works. If I have to let something go to the next day, I let it go. I don't try to do to much or I get overwhelmed. Many of the morning stuff I did tonight so I'm good to go. That is another thing. During the day I keep the living room, bathroom and kitchen "up" so they don't get too bad, and after dinner sometime I clean up. My rule? Don't leave dirty dishes in the sink overnight. That really small load is a lot more than it looks. So I wiped, swept, wet swiffered, and picked up toys already. I even cleaned that entry I had planned for tomorrow. See how easy that was? Now in the morning all I have to do is clean up after the kids then move on to the next stuff. Whew, I am wiped. Ithink I am going to sign off now. I have other stuff to do yet- the goofing off kind.

Damn you Blogger!!!

I am so god damned pissed. This will be my THIRD, yes, third time posting this same post today! If it disappears again I am GOING TO QUIT BLOGGER. This is just ridiculous!!!!! It was there, I saw it, I went to bed, got up and it was gone. I posted it again, saw it and later logged in to edit it. It was on my blog visually, but the damn thing was missing from my edit thingy. Now it is gone completely. Maybe blogger doesn't deserve to see my new fairy. Maybe it should just fudge itself for not answering my emails. Maybe I will just move anyway out of SPITE!!!!!

Here is a fairy I made. The base is from Embrace You Inner Pink. No witty comments or details because by now I am so damn bored with the whole thing!!!!!!!!!!



What the hell, lets go for it. I am going to add another fairy, it is the first doll I made. The "Lollie" doll base is from ElectroniCandy, the dress was inspired by Amy Brown and I made the hair from a tutorial by Angy Chan.



I have also been meaning to mention that I have updated my Haunts section. Please take a moment and visit the new blogs! (Those would be the ones with the *NEW* around them, lol!) I am not so pissed anymore. Now it's up to blogger.

My life in a blog post

I am getting a daily planner. My life is a mess, disorganized, I forget appointments, slip into depression and get nothing done. That is going to change. It will change or things in this house are going to change in a negative way.

I used to have a very nice planner I bought at a university bookstore- it contained my life and is the only reason I made it through college. I don't know where it is now. I forgot I ever had it until I decided to buy one today. It had everything- weekly at a glance, daily- hour by hour, notes, budget, address book, everything and it didn't cost me very much at all! Boss had one, it was $80. WTH? I am now at the Franklin covey website and am searching for that perfect contraction to throw my life into. I need this. I need structure, or I suffer terribly. I am undisciplined. If I knew where the old one was, all I would need to do is buy a refill, but it is probably in the trash somewhere. I will buy it, use it, depend on it like a crutch and refill it next year and the next. I will tell it to tell me when to clean and when to shop and do the checkbook and pay the bills and see the doctor and when I can use the computer. Wellbutrin can only do so much and I can't take meds for adult add when I am pregnant. This I am sure that I have, it makes so much sense. And since I can't get help for it from a little pill I will have to help myself.

I am a firm believer in the power of helping one's self. I used to be that person who waited for help to come from a higher power, who gave herself over entirely to her deity and prayed daily for the burden to be lifted and be given a normal life. I waited a very long time and nothing ever came but more depression (which is a medical illness which needs treatment, in my case) and more misery and confusion. Until I went to school, got educated, opened my mind and for the first time did something for me, by me, on my own. (Getting educated gave me the opportunity to finally understand what my husband had been trying to tell me for years.) I now believe the higher power helps those who help themselves, or at least try to anyway, wholeheartedly. I believe I can do anything I try to do, if I believe I can, through the power of my own will. I give myself over entirely to myself and my family. It is when I forget or let things go or have no reason to put myself out there that I fail, and don't even notice that I am dying. I must watch myself continuously and it isn't easy, especially when doing nothing is so easy. Having 2 children 2 years in a row like this doesn't help.

I need to schedule in more sleep- I am always so exhausted. My yoga instructor is out of town due to family illness and I do not know when she will be back. I would have to swallow my embarrassment and call and ask, and ask if my two missed sessions will carry over, since it is not my fault I only got 4. I paid for 6, right? I don't think they will give me a hard time; they are very nice people. I just don't like to ask. Inhale comes on every morning a 7 on Oxygen and I try to get up on time and do the yoga along with it. I also do it at night as often as I can with the kids; it helps them sleep so much better. The guy on TV said yoga brings the body into balance so the mind can be brought into focus. I think just by dimming lights, using candles, shutting off TV's, and giving the kids time to unwind before bed helps them enormously. The exercise routines are essential as well, and very simple. We do a few sun salutations and cow-cats and some stretches, but the benefits to the kids are amazing. They don't come to me and whine about being uncomfortable, hungry or tired. They don't yell across the house for me or Chantz and are quite pleasant. It is hard adjusting to this routine when Chantz is home, but he got right into it and went downstairs with Austin and Bruce so I can get started with Tessa. I do one kid at a time and put Tessa to bed first. Then I move on to Austin. His routine is simpler and shorter than hers, she is into it more than him. I have run out of words. Ciao.

Overhead

Ok, quick reminder: Chantz's Folks' business has two trucks, one just bought, used. In Texas it got a new motor put in, with a one year warranty. After he got back, it started running badly, so he took it to a Ford dealer in Miles City. The motor is shot, apparently they just got a bad motor from the factory, no biggie, it is under warranty and they get a new one. But will the Ford Dealership in Miles City take care of it? Hell no! They hemmed and hawed about the warranty not being good and blah blah blah... The dealership in Texas that screwed up pays for it, Miles City gets reimbursed for their work. They are worried about getting paid- so the guy from Texas asked Chantz if they could just bring it back to Texas?

Welcome to Montana!

The guys in TX are really great I guess, and are easy going. So they (my inlaws) are going to load it up on the trailer and haul it down to TX to get fixed. They were supposed to leave Monday or Tuesday, but on the way home their transmission went to hell. That is two trucks down, two trucks not making any money. They had this truck towed to Billings and are on their way right now to pick it up. Then they leave for TX.

At first I thought this business made loads of money, but countered by overhead, it seems so small! They may not have to pay for the new motor, but they have to take it to Texas on their own dime, and are missing jobs because both trucks are down. This just really sucks. I would hate to be a small business owner.

Thank God Chantz is on salary!

Another Quiz, blame Ann!

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 7/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

What I have been up to

I haven't been blogging as much. I have found a new hobby and I really like it. My daughter likes it, too.

When you think of pixel art, you probably think (A)What the heck is that? or (B) Eww, country stuff. Well, you are wrong, in this case. I am talking about dolls. I found a bunch of doll "bases", ie, naked, bald "dolls" that I downloaded. I gave them some hair and clothes and yay! I made a doll. Pixel art just refers to how it is done. It is not a simple process- it is very time consuming.

That is why I ask you, yeah right, am ordering you to not steal any of the dolls I post here, ok? Again, I decorated it, I did not make the doll itself! I am linking back to the site where I borrowed the base. Please, if you want one, go there and follow her rules. Thanks!

I made the background some time ago from a tutorial at PSP Users Group and was inspired by Amy Brown for her hair. This was a lot of fun and I will be posting more soon. This is actually the second doll I made. Expect my first doll soon!

New corpse!

:: never fall together/love you sweetly/oh well/humpty's hunger ::

Quiz!

Today

The weather is beautiful today. I went to town in a tee shirt and left bruce in his jammies. As I was driving down "main" (merrill ave), I noticed the sign at the bank, one of those that gives useful things like time and weather. It's a whopping 49 degrees out today.

Absolutely beautiful. Gotta love living in Montana!

None of this

none of this is mine
none of this is me
in a moment, in a flash
you will take it from me;
you will leave.
none of this is mine,
you have made that clear to me
and yet I am here,
living once again (as) a stranger
once again unwanted, a burden, a thing.
none of this is mine
do you even love me?

Dawn Dschaak
written by me on 1/21/06
Thanks Katy, for reminding me to be me.

Tagged

Four Jobs You've Had In Your Life
1) Maid (hotels)
2) Waitress (too many to count)
3) Answered phones at an inbound call center
4) Patient Care Aide at the hospital

Four Movies You Could Watch Over And Over
1) Pirates of the Carribean
2) Star Wars Series
3) Princess Bride
4) matrix series

Four Places You've Lived
1) Upstate New York
2) Sidney & Glendive, Montana (current location)
3) Dickinson & Bismark, North Dakota
4) Laramie, Wyoming

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch
1) Stargate SG1
2) Gilmore Girls
3) CSI (Las Vegas, Baby!)
4) Smallville

Four Places You've Been On Vacation
1) Fort Peck Lake, Fort Peck Montana
2) Upstate New York
3) Too big a loser to really go on vacation
4)

Four Blogs You Visit Daily
1) Ornamental Illness
2) My Gobhole
3) Fred's World (weekly)
4) I'd rather be a kitty
5) Sentenced to Write
6) Chapterhouse, etc....

Four Of Your Favorite Foods
1) Seafood
2) Pizza
3) Chocolate
4) Ribeye

Four Places You'd Rather Be
1) In a home that I own
2) right here
3) right here
4) right here- maybe that's my problem.

Four (Albums) Authors You Can't Live Without
(Ok I'm cheating here.)
1) Terry Brooks
2) David and Leigh Eddings
3) Ann McCaffrey
4) Elizabeth Moon

Four Vehicles You've Owned
1) Chevy Cavalier (current)
2) Dodge Dakota (current)
3) Ford Ranger
4) Nissan Pickup (I didn't actually own this, my husband did)

People to tag: all of you who haven't done this one yet.

Updated: I forgot to put where I lived, oops. It's fixed now.

Grrrowl!

Ok, this just pissed me off. This genius read the forth book in a series, without ever having read the first three, and had the audacity to say that it was silly, simple and a disappointment. Well no shit, Sherlock! You cannot start at the end of a series and expect to know what is going on! I haven't read this book, but have read the first three; they are awesome, just like everything else she has ever written.

What a moron! Lord, just when I thought people couldn't get any dumber. At least now I know what book to get on interlibrary loan next week!

Oh and look, it was posted on my last birthday. Add insult to injury why don't you! (Yes, that was sarcasm, not narcissism.)

My irony

The other morning, flipping channels, I stopped at MTV and VH1- both were playing sappy music; the kind of music that I hate. The kind of music you expected VH1 to play back in the very early 90's- before it became "cool", I mean a clone of MTV. You know, that slow, whiney, male-singing disjointed crap that is so popular these days. I thought I would vomet. Once again I thought "how can this crap be so damn popular? I hated shit like this when I was a teenager; why the hell are they buying this crap? Damn bunch of pansies anyway..." All this passed through my mind in four flips, until I got to The View, which I never watch. And there she was, a little, blonde slice of heaven, singing an accoustic version of "Time After Time". Thank you Cindi Lauper, for brightening up my day. I don't know what kids are thinking these days, I swear.

*sigh*

I said I would

And now I am. Updating that is. I finally broke down, bundled up Bruce and took him and Tessa to the store to get baby Tylenol and baby Advil. I was hoping he could fall asleep so the kids could watch him. I didn't want to take him out in this weather. His fever didn't go down, I ran out of ibuprofen and decided to go. It was only 100.9 (armpit) but still I worry. That and he was screaming! This adorable boy who hardly cries was screeching and screaming and I rocked him and talked to him and he still continued. He calmed down in the truck and at the store. I think he liked being someplace different. Already I can see how rational he is and that he understands me. Austin would have kept screaming and kept screaming and on and on... Now he is feeling much better and I have laid him down to sleep.

The template is by Veronica and it features artwork by Jessica Galbreth. Many of Veronica's linkware templates feature artwork by others; this is why they are free. In agreement with the artists, she doesn't make money off their work. She even customized the title and the main menu buttons for me. She included a blank one and I make the titles for the rest. Her shareware templates are her own creations and are great, too. But I love this one. I think fairies are great. I love Amy Brown's work so much that my husband even knows who she is and can recognize her work (and call me up from a mall in Casper and tease me relentlessly about the store with all her figurines!) So head on over there for some nice graphics, if you are interested!

Speaking of Chantz, he is in a hotel in Texas tonight waiting for the tools to be built. This part is frustrating. These tools are in such high demand by the oil field that you may not get the tools being built for you to deliver! Some guy at some other rig with more clout can come and "steal" your tools. Then you have to wait longer. When this happens though, they try to get them done even faster. For those of you who don't know what I am talking about I will explain. He delivers tools for "directional" drilling. They look like long pipes, but there are motors in them and high tech electronic equipment and computers that monitor stuff. They are slightly angled at the bottom, hence "directional". Many wells can be drilled from just one hole. This saves time and money. These motors run for hours on end and eventually break down. These are called dirties. The "hotshot" driver picks them up and takes them to the place to be repaired. This could be in many places. His parents usually go to Texas and back, but this month has been very busy for them (drilling companies have a deadline to meet!) so he has gotten to go to Texas twice. Of course, once fixed, they then need to be delivered to the rigs- which are in the damnedest places sometimes. Just that alone can occupy Chantz for a whole day! He drives a F450 with a forty foot trailer. I have gone along and sometimes it is fun, others it is boring. No long trips; my doctor won't allow it. I haven't spoke to Chantz since this morning; I figure he needs his sleep. He had another driver, but sleeping in a truck is not the same as sleeping in a bed!

I am supposed to be doing the checkbook, but I left it upstairs and I am lazy. Tomorrow, taxes. At the accountant silly! No way am I doing it. It is worth the $80 to make sure it is done right! If Alice's accountant is more than H&R Block, I will do it through them online (with a real person). I live in a teeny town now with no H&R Block! I will bore you no longer.

Damn blogger! Made me say "NO!" and Bruce hollered! Go back to sleep, go back to sleep... please.

New Design

It is by Folkvangar.com.ar.

I will update more later. Baby is sick.

Chantz is home

and goddamn it he is snoring! Argh. And to top it off, cheapass's bed is way too small. He never said a queen was to expensive, he told me we didn't need one, our queen was too big, a full was just fine. I didn't argue much; he seemed set. But with me pregnant, and I am only going to get much, much bigger, and the fact that we are both bigger than we were 10 years ago, a full is no longer possible!

Yeah, cheapass tells me tonight when I am whining to get a job and get one, they're too expensive. What? It's at the most $100 more. Ooo, it'll take a whole extra 2 months to pay off. Big deal! I am calling Koch's tomorrow to see if they have an exchange or return policy. Plus we tend to roll to the middle. Our old crappy queen didn't even roll! I am never letting him pick out a bed again. He went with his mom to get Sherry a new bed and he decided we should get the same one. So I went and only tried out that one. I should know better by now. Don't let Chantz make decisions. Maybe we'll get lucky and they will have a queen in stock. But I will wait. This is something we have to live with for years.

**Update**

I finally went to bed at 3 something this morning. I just wasn't tired. I usually sleep near the wall and last night before I got up I was squished between Chantz and the wall. When I came back to bed he was in my spot, so I slept on the outside- and had plenty of room to sprawl out! He was just hogging me before! I really don't like to be snuggled, I am the snuggler and he was bugging me. So, he gets the wall, I get the outside, and the bed is just fine! I am glad that is settled.

I've been Tagged

by Susie. How evil of her. Here it is:

2x2 list:
2 names you go by: Dawn, mom
2 parts of your heritage: redneck and hick
2 things that scare you: rats and more rats
2 of your everyday essentials: water and chocolate
2 things you are wearing right now: purple and white polka dot socks and a nursing nightgown I stole from the hospital when Bruce was born. It is pink.
2 things you want in a relationship: my own way and attention
2 truths: life sucks, babies are cute
2 of your favorite hobbies: reading and digital art
2 things you want really badly: new curtains and some cool nicknacks (these adorable ethnic elephants form target)
2 places you want to go on vacation: florida and texas
2 things you want to do before you die: win the lottery and see austin succeed
2 ways that you are stereotypically a chick: dragonflies and lavender (the color)
2 things you are thinking about now: i need to go to bed and do I really have to do this?
2 stores you shop at: albertsons and kmart (small town, people)
2 weird habits: picking at my head (oh my god, I do this too Susie!) and popping my back
2 favorite items in the house: my new washer and dryer and the computer
2 stores I wish we had: target and hot topic
2 things that make me cry: rejection and thinking of my father
2 things I wish I could do different: nothing, I dont want to change the past
2 things I do very badly: clean the house and kiss 9it can get gross, sorry)
2 hidden talents: I had better not say
2 other email names: cloud_eyora and blewberry
2 difficult paths I took: challenging my childhood religion and rejecting it and becoming a real person
2 people to tag: Fred and FredCQ (and I suppose I will let you two change "chick" to guy, although leaving it would be interesting!)

Oh and guys, you have to add one of your own at the end. Sorry I forgot to add that.

Where the hell is everybody lately?

Many of my favorite bloggers are not blogging. As I am writing this Bruce has gotten himself covered in water, Austin is hyped up and Bruce is driving me nuts. Its 10:30 for christ's sake and I am going to shoot someone soon. Probably myself. Late Friday nights for the kids? Never ever again.

Anyway, now that Austin is upstairs and Bruce is in his crib, still loud but not all over me, I can get on with my point. No one seems to be blogging as much as they did in 05. Is everyone still recuperating from the holidays? Does everyone have a life but me? Maybe its because Chantz is away and I am so very bored without him. We play scrabble deluxe or the farming game or something at night and I miss it. Or he gets on the computer and I watch TV or read a book. But he is gone and the PC is all mine and I post everyday and I comment everyday. Maybe I just need help. He said he should be leaving tomorrow, and would be home Monday maybe. Dumbass Mike, his younger uncle and partner in crime (Everquest), told me he'd call back on Sunday. Sunday? WTF? Its a 36 hour drive. That doesn't count sleeping and stops. There is no way he could be home by Sunday. I just said goodby and hung up- Stargate Atlantis was on and I was trying to watch, so I didn't catch it right away. And when Chantz first left for Texas, Mike thought he would be back by Wednesday- not in TX by Wed, but home.

?

36 hour drive, stops and sleeping, dropping off the load, getting a new load, changing the oil (which they do every trip) and coming back- it would take at least a week- not 3 days! And I told him that. What a moron. And this guy is a nurse? Lets just hope he never reads this. I highly doubt he does anything on the computer that doesn't have to do with Everquest.

I am pissed at him because he is selfish. He plans on calling Chantz as soon as he comes home- to play EQ with him- nevermind he might be exhausted, nevermind he will have to deliver the shit he just brought back the next day- nevermind that after a week away from home he might want to spend time with his family!!!! Chantz doesn't like to hurt people's feelings or tell them no. He is a wussy when it comes to this. He doesn't want to be rude. Instead he will not answer the phone. And sometimes I think he plays just cuz he doesn't want to say no. I have even told Mike when I answered the phone that he can't play because we have plans, he tells me oh no I don't want to play I just need to ask him something, then the fudger gets him to play for an hour! Chantz says , oh he just needs me for a little while. Damn jerk. This guy has a family- 2 kids same age as mine and a wife- he isn't allowed, yes I said it, to play when she is awake (nurse, sleeps days sometimes). And he has the audacity to bully me just cuz my husband ain't @*#sy whipped? I am very tempted to call Misty and bitch to her about it. She can make his life hell. Therefore I can make his life hell. I am just not as mean in real life as I would like to be, so I won't. After the new baby is born, though, all bets are off! He has no respect for our family, I swear! (A younger uncle means he is a year younger than Chantz. Yup- the spoiled youngest son of C's grandfather.)

Chantz likes this game, he doesn't like it as much as Mike. He is getting better and will play games and stuff with me and the kids for a few days and then play with Mike for a few days, rather than all the time. It could be worse, I know. He could be running off to the bar every night. He's just not that kind of guy. He is also avoiding the kids- but this I understand. They get out of hand or are rude, pestering or out and out annoying. (Remember PDD NOS) He avoids them so as not to yell at them. They think I am the mean one and maybe I am. But I can only take so much bullying- then I lose it. I don't realize I am being bullied at first, and give in to get them off of me. Finally it gets to be too much. When I calm down I explain to them that they don't have to bully me- they can at least ask first! Instead they come in both barrels blazing and on the offensive. I explain it and it doesn't sink in. They keep doing the same wrong things over and over...

Thank god Austin goes back to public school on Monday. Those will be the most blessed two hours of my day.

I love my kids, I have just had a hard night, am pregnant, and have a damn panic disorder. And depression. Can't forget the depression. Wellbutrin does what it can, but it isn't a miracle pill. I still have a threshold. Bitching here just makes me feel better. Remember, too, that this is a personal diary and I like to write like when I had no readers. Comment by all means, I am just explaining that sometimes this is my outlet. My only outlet. And now I feel so much better.

Wow, did I get way off topic. Not the direction I intended on going, but that happens when I write. It's a good thing. In creative writing class we got a little booklet- it said that we have the right to write the worst crap we can- just so long as we write. I like that.

More quizzes

This doesn't surprise me one bit.

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)

You're a great thinker and a true philosopher. You'd make a talented professor or writer.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

This one doesn't surprose me either; I've been dying my hair red for the last 8 months.

Your Hair Should Be Red

Passionate, fiery, and sassy. You're a total smart aleck who's got the biggest personality around.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

I wasn't expecting this one! Wow, I'm spicy. It must go with my red hair.

You Are Thai Food

Trendy yet complex. People seek you out - though they're not sure why.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Ok Ok enough already! I just can't stop. This is so me!

You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Ok, you decide. Is this me?

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything. You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey. You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

I don't even have to ask. I know this is me. These tests are just too wierd (as in correct) and I think I may stop now. Maybe. ;D

Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde

You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog. You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head. Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent. You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

G@#Damnit! One more. Last one I promise! For today anyway.

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. In relationships, you tend to be a bit selfish. You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

New corpse!

Come see it here. I made panel one, Silver Springs. I have had this song in my noggin for weeks now. I'm even going to put the cd back in my truck so I can listen to it on the way to yoga this morning. And that is working out very well. It is relaxing yet invigorating. I like it.

The new bed arrives tomorrow and I need to get the house ready. I am so excited!

Notice in the corpse how my panel leads into an ocean wave over the words "Don't say that she's pretty". Panel 3 takes these words and transforms itliterally with an ugly woman (the other woman) next to what looks like stationery. That stationery becomes a grid and a brick wall, hands up defensively. Isn't that what we do in relationships?

A little bad luck

Chantz is stuck in Texas until Saturday! And when I say stuck, I mean with his parents, in a hotel getting to go sightseeing and maybe even the beach! You see, the "newer" truck they just bought from Holas, aka Glendive Auto Sales, blew up. Imagine that. Hmmm, just like the last truck they bought from Holas. I am really not surprised about this; it was running poorly on our trip to Casper. Now I really wish we could have gone with him, but no, my doctor doesn't want me taking long trips. Alice got pulled over by the DOT and her log books weren't correct or something and they had to stay over for 10 hours- so Chantz caught up with them and about 100 miles out of Conroe, the truck's motor blew up. It won't be ready till Saturday and then he can come home. Darn this means I get our new bed all to myself this weekend.

I hope he gets a sunburn.

;D

Blog Explosion

...is addictive! Damn you Fred CQ! It's your fault, you introduced me to it. I blame you.

So there.

;D

Photos- click on them to see larger versions ;D

Here he is Christmas morning, almost 12 months old, wearing his suit. See that red hair on top of blond? Well it is all gone. I took the clippers to it! Not only is it short, but I cut off all his curls and all the red. Now he is just blond. He looks very different. Still adorable though!



This is his usual comfort position. Hand at ear, thumb in mouth.



This is Bruce in June, wrapped up in Tessa's birthday wrapping paper. Isn't he cute?



Here Tessa is giving Bruce a ride around the kitchen in my brownie pan.



Tessa on Christmas showing off her new vest.



This is my girl, the drama qween. Isn't her hair adorable here? I have got to take this and similar photos in to the hairdresser next time we get her hair done. If it gets too long, it gets snarly. Doesn't she look like a little model? This was taken at our old apartment in Laramie WY.



Awww, Santa brought them fluffy pillows!



Look at that goofy face. Thank god he doesn't do that anymore. It lasted jsut a short while. Austin started it first and man did we want to get him for it, too! It is aweful. That is Chantz's arm holding Bruce. This was taken at Elitch Gardens Six Flags in Denver. That was fun! It is a water park, and not just the water part either! Almost all of the rides soaked us from head to foot. Chantz's friend Allen cut school that day to come along with us. It was very last minute. We like to be impulsive. Oh, and never listen to your husband when he tells everyone to wear sneakers (tennis shoes as he calls them) at a WATER PARK!



Wow, doesn't he look very serious here? This was also taken at the
apartment in Laramie, WY.



I saw this sweater at K-mart and had to get it! Bruce has the same exact sweater! I got them booth at Big K. See, doesn't he look happy? That is the first time he has ever been excited over clothing! He really wanted to match with Bruce!

A little of everything

Wow, I have realized there's much to blog about that I have forgotten to mention! So now I will fill you all in. Bruce is walking. In December he started baby steps, 3 steps, fall down. Then it was 5. Then just after Christmas it was 7. Now he can go clear across a room and change directions. I think he prefers walking to crawling. You should see him try to carry stuff while he walks! It is so funny! He has three teeth on top and two on bottom. The last front top tooth is almost in but not quite. Bruce is very active and gets bumps and scrapes. He is very daring and helpful. He likes to play "crawl somewhere naughty so mommy will chase me." He giggles when I gets I way and I capture him. He says thank you when we give him something and when he gives things to other people or even Rocksy. Cracker was his first word, after mommommom an dadada. Uh-oh, all gone/ all done, too. He has understood these two phrases for a while, because when his food is gone I show him it is gone and say "all gone". And he quits fussing because it is all gone. If I think he is done but its not gone, I say all done, and he accepts that too. Sometimes we fib when we are eating and he wants our food. Then I go and get him his own. He loves big people food and baby food. He knows table is for food, and if Tessa is doing homework or if we are playing a game, we have to show him that we are not eating. Cooking is a problem, too, because he knows food comes from the stove but doesn't understand he has to wait, that it takes a while, so he gets whiny and in the way because he wants something to eat. I try to get the kids to play with him and shut the gate, but the kids let him come back to the gate and shakes it (he gets mad when he is locked out of an area that other people are in)- I hate this. So I may grab a jar of baby food and have Chantz feed him, or Tessa. Feeding Bruce grosses Austin out because it pops back out!

We won the lottery on Christmas Eve. What? And your still blogging? Yes, it was only a $100, silly! But ain't that cool? We didn't even check it right away. Oh! I have another one in my wallet I bought on Wednesday. I should get it. Wouldn't it suck to be the big powerball winner and just sit on it? We used it to put a down payment on our new bed we ordered from Koch's (pillowtop, no flipping... absolutely wonderful and will arrive on the 13th).

Damn I have 10 minutes left and I have to get Tessa up. Better hurry. Today is Bruce's first birthday and we are going to have cupcakes! Ma never called me back to tell me if she could come and I forgot to call her. She doesn't get off work till four, so I may have to call Bill and see if she decided yesterday. I told him it wasn't a big deal and understood id they couldn't make it; they live an hour away. (Which by Montana standards isn't very far-50mi, but it is still a pain to travel, you know?) Tonight Stargate SG1 and Atlantis come back on as well as the new Battlestar Gallatica. On SCI FI. I like these shows. I watch these three on Fridays and Gilmore Girls on Tuesdays. Otherwise its usually just HGTV, lol! Maybe Alias reruns if I am home at 2pm and remember.

Austin starts public school after the 16th, which is end of second semester. He will go from 9:30 to 1:30 to start, with science and English in the classroom and math and reading in the resource room, for now. Our goal is all day by the end of the year. Next year fifth grade is in the middle school so I want him to be prepared. Damn, 3 minutes. I have to go now. See ya later!

Bad day

I was pretty tired and out of it today and didn't feel so well. I didn't want to go anywhere, but Alice needed my truck so I ran some errands on the way to her house. Or that's what was supposed to happen. As I was leaving I noticed that Rocksy hadn't eaten anything since yesterday I was worried. Turns out she was just being finicky, but I didn't know that yet. I passed the courthouse where I was to pick up my license plates; my sticker is expired. So I went on to Alice's figuring we could get them when she took me home. Except that I forgot my checkbook, the check I wanted to cash and to pay my bill at Koch's (for the new bed we ordered!! It's a pillowtop and will be here on the 13th...) and get insurance for the pickup I was driving at State Farm. So we went to my house and picked up the checkbook, found out Rocksy finally ate and we went on our merry way. So on the to the courthouse to get new plates, guess who got pulled over by the Sheriff? (Deputy or whatever, it wasn't the city police!) Me! He called the treasurers office and found out that, yes, my plates are there (my title was mailed on the 15th, it finally arrived!) and so I only get a warning. But I was driving without any insurance. So I had to leave Alice and Bruce in my pickup, hitch a ride with the officer to state farm and get me some insurance. Which I did. Got a ride back and proceeded on our merry way again, getting everything done this time, including getting my plates! If only I had my checks with me. I'd had the cash and check card, but they charge extra for using it. Then I found out from Chantz that I am probably getting a $250 fine for my citation of driving w/o insurance to buy insurance. I should have taken the damn fee.

6:30 and I get a call from State Farm, which closed at 5. Turns out they can't cover me until the 16th, when their new rules come into effect. My insurance is void, please bring back your temporary card and get your check back.

I am having a bad day.

My baby

is humming and it is adorable. He hums himself to sleep! And sucks his thumb while holding his right ear. He used to snuggle a blanket, but now he rubs his ear. Awww... he's sleeping now.

Dream- I'll take your man

First this gay couple wakes in bed and talk for a while. I don't remember much but it seems important. I am with Chantz and this older woman who isn't very good looking. Austin and Tessa aren't in this dream but Bruce is. This lady doesn't realize I am married to Chantz or that I am Bruce's mother. She thinks I am a housekeeper, although he points out I don't do a very good job (really, I don't). Chantz doesn't feel so well and has to go out of town, but this lady wants him to leave early with her and to take Bruce with. I ask if he thinks that is such a good idea. By asking in that manner I don't make it clear I am the mom. Bruce is laying on the floor by the lady. I don't want to protest too much so I can get out of there. I pick up the baby and go upstairs, to the main floor from the basement. I start packing Bruce's diaper bag, planning to get the hell out of there with the baby before they can take them. I don't think Chantz has cheated, but this lady creeps me out and Chantz is sick. I end up going somewhere with Chantz and the baby, it is winter time and I go out and there is a man I need to help into this car...

(see Dream- second coming)

Dream- Second Coming

I came out of a building in the winter time and had to help this man drive home. I get to the car and he jumps in the driver's seat and takes off, driving crazy. I run after him yelling until he stops and I get in. He says I was too slow and wouldn't make up my mind. He somehow falls out and Shannon Doherty (I hate her) gets out of her SUV to see if this jackass, whom she knows, is ok. She offers him a ride and since i am his caregiver i go along to. I pull myself up into this very high seat and slide the bench behind me back. We go to her camper thing. It is huge, but not to fancy. No one else notices the sludge on the ceiling coming from the kitchen. I realize it isn't grease, but dirty snow/ice that came in the vent as they were driving. It is thick and all over the place. Like a snow cone gone bad. Then we are all girls and part of this important group. I am this small young girl. My friend tries to prove that I am in fact a member. She tells them I can sense this stuff under the water and throws something in. I dive in for this orb, which comes up so translucent it almost seams invisible, but for the iridescent sheen. I float in the air holding the globe and realize I am God. I am the second coming although I am actually the first. By merely thinking it, I created the universe in the few moments I sat in the air holding the globe. I did everything God was known for. So Jesus came first...

How cool is that?