Dreams- Santa and bananas and who knows what else

So I just had a Santa Claus dream. First we are living in a very nice house and I went around shutting all of the windows and doors for the night so no one could get in. I also was worried about Rocksy getting out and about, just like I was IRL tonight. Then I go to bed, but wake in the night and go inspect the house. The sliding door is wide open and I feel stupid because after all of that I forgot to close it! After I shut and lock it I notice the front door is open, too and I realize that Austin opened all the doors because he was hot (just like he told me IRL tonight). I look outside down into the street- we must be on a hill, and I see a procession going down to the other end and stopping at a big tree. I figure it is the town getting Christmas stuff done, since it is Christmas time and they have presents and stuff. City workers are dressed in black jackets and the town mayor is dressed like Santa, or so I think. Perhaps I go back to bed, because then I wake again to go check the kids and Santa is in our house with his black coated "elves" and there is Austin talking to them. Oh no, I think! Now he won't believe there is a Santa Claus! Then I realize that it is the real Santa and not the town doing this. I here Bruce wake and I get him and bring him out and he just looks at Santa who looks very much like Grandpa Larry now.

---

I am going bananas when they make me think of bananas. This one is weird and wonky. In a big room full of people and these two guys are on display in the middle on a pedestal. The leader at the front of the room says they will never be allowed to work in the lawyer/detective/police field again but they will be drawn to it. I am working somewhere and I start talking to a band who played there- I know them and I thought they were awesome. For some reason it is a big deal that they are much younger than me. What becomes an even bigger deal is that all my coworkers start crowding around me, verbally assaulting me asking about this band, why do I like them? Who are they? Why? They are backing me in a corner and make me think of bananas and everything gets shaky and sucked in and I am reminded of the movie butterfly effect as they press me out of this time into another one. What are they trying to subdue? What are they trying to make me suppress? Forget? Is it like those guys treated like criminal from before?

---

Then there is a room in a school and these two girls are talking about how this gal got raped the year before after a play and they don't seem worried about it (sorry Susie, please don't cringe, lol.) Then as they are talking some gal gets attacked in another room. But it is very surreal (I know, that means dreamlike ;D) and it really isn't rape. It is weird and confusing, and I wake up IRL because of every little noise I hear.

I am afraid the kids will open the basement door and forget to shut it and the dog will go upstairs and eat all of the Easter candy and eggs and other goodies scattered up there. I was too tired to close the gate into the living room when I came down stairs as an extra precaution. But if I really did this, the kids would have to open it to get to the darn basement door anyway. I have been waking at every sound and this needs to stop. I got up and checked the door, went potty and noticed the computer was still on. Since these dreams were so fresh and I didn't want to forget them this time, I decided to post them right away. It has been a while since I have put up a good dream post.

Later, and please forgive the mistakes. It is now 4:49 am and I am not wearing my glasses. And blogger spell check sucks.

Happy Easter!

**update**
These dreams were in black and white which is unusual for me. That is why the elves' coats looked black.

Doctor Visit

My appointment with Dr. Long was yesterday. For some reason he was under the impression I wanted a Vbac (vaginal birth after c=section) and so I had to listen, again, about the horrors that happen when things go wrong. I GET IT, no Vbac. This was a "get to know you visit" since he will be performing the c-section. He won't only be checking the incision when he does the ultrasound, but also the maturity of the baby. He will then decide when to schedule the c-section. This guy is very thorough; I like him. My last OB just scheduled one 6 days earlier than my due date and that was it. He says the baby isn't big enough at this time to decide yet and we have scheduled the ultrasound for May 8 and are tentatively scheduling the c-section for the 15th. We will see.

This is a high risk pregnancy since this and the last are so close together and I had 2 previous c-sections. The ultra sound is for the safety of me and the baby, and is not about finding out if its a girl or boy, ok? It doesn't even matter to me, but if we do find out I will tell you.

This is interesting...

Here is a meme I picked up at Northernbound

Search your birthday minus the year at Wikipedia and list 3 events, 2 births, and one death. Here's mine:

December 29, ----:

events:

#1845 - Republic of Texas and United States agree to annexation of Texas. Texas is admitted as the 28th U.S. state.
#1890 - Wounded Knee Massacre: The United States soldiers massacre over 400 men, women and children of the
#1975 - A bomb explodes at New York City's LaGuardia Airport killing 11. *this is the year I was born*

births:

#1808 - Andrew Johnson, 17th President of the United States (d. 1875)
#1972 - Jude Law, British actor
(10 actresses, 13 singers/musicians)

deaths:

#1170 - Thomas Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury (assassinated)
(8 writers/poets, 4 clergy, 4 actors, 2 artists, 2 musicians , 2 mathemeticians, etc.) Isn't that wierd?

Let me know yours ok?

Kids for sale

I could easily give in and throw reading time out the window, let them stay outside till after 8pm, let them have TV until 9 and get them to bed sometime around 9:30, after finally getting them into their jammies. I could let them bathe only once a week and never brush their teeth.

And you know what? During tuck-ins they would still:

1. ask to watch more TV
2. ask to brush their teeth
3. ask for a story
   
4. ask for yoga
5. ask for a snack

So I try to get them home by 7:30 and ready for bed by 8 so we can read a story. I try and fail and hate myself because I failed yet again. They fight and babble and do everything they can to ruin relaxation time or make me mad so that I want to crawl into my dungeon and never come out. But they would destroy each other and come down here and tell me how much they want a story, even tho they refused 30 minutes earlier.

So tomorrow they will be home by 7. No later. They will have a snack and brush their teeth and have the jammies on by eight o'clock. Bruce will have to be laid down at that time so I can read to the kids. And I will read Austin's new book to him if he can be nice, but Tessa gets a book too. This isn't just about him. He isn't the only reason we started this although at first he benefited the most. Now he fights it the most and refuses the most and tries to run this house. I understand that dad is gone right now, but he is just going to have to deal with it. I'm the man now, not him.

Dream and some other stuff

I dreamt last night that someone came over to visit from the blogosphere, but no one in actually know. I don't remember much but we hung out.

Chantz is spending his free time (in Texas) productively. He is looking up porn and sending it to me via messenger. I am logged in as him and he is logged in as his mom. How messed up is that? He just said he was blogging! Blogging? Huh? Oh, it is a porn blog. If you want the link I'll send it thru email. It's nasty. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. ;P

The slipcovers came today. They are wrinkley. Hey, they just came out of a box, ok? So they are in the dryer with some damp washclothes. Pretty tho'. They are a pain in the butt to put on but look good when finished. The trick is patience and aggressiveness. The instructions say to get rough with them. They are so soft; they are the suade ones. they might need to be tucked in every day. For the arms I can stuff rolled up rubberbanded magazines in to help. But what to stick in for the back?

Underneath the Bigotry...

...is a layer of truth. Thin and veiled, but there. And I just can't stay away. Nor can I disagree with everything she says. I see the irony and the sarcasm, buried as it is in her inflammatory posts. I can't stay away.

Sometimes I think she is just having fun- a nice gag blog, but then something she writes just hits me. It does this in two ways. She says something so outrageous it seems that she is putting the focus on the issue by reversing it. I can't explain it. Here is an example:

"...I don't have it half as bad as our great leader does. It seems some dirty hairy Harry Hippie was caught jumping the fence at the White House. He was screaming "I am a victim of terrorism!" while acting like a freaking terrorist himself. Wearing a 'God Bless America' T-shirt to disguise him as a true patriot, this whacked out wacko was subdued by anti-terrorism teams. The unidentiied man must have been a real threat to America, just like Saddam Hussein, as it required nearly a dozen armed officers to subdue him."

In her blog, she openly supports Bush. But is this because she thinks he is as wonky as the rest of the sane world? Hmmm... let's move on.

The other way she gets to me is by her satire, her dark comedy. Think of a comedian saying these things- then they would be funny, hanging on to an anchor of truth. Here is another example:

"Don't come to my country and wave your flag around , Jose, this is America and the only flag that should be flown is the good old Stars and Stripes. If Mexico is so great, go back there, because you're obviously too ignorant to learn our language anyway. I hear you speak it to each other all the time up here, and I know you're discussing throwing over the white Christian majority and replacing it with the Papist child rapist church of Idolatry."

Sorry, but I just can't stay away. She is politically incorrect, but who isn't? Is this a cover for speaking her mind about taboo topics by going so overboard she leaves us spinning? Is she just screwing with us? I know it isn't "real", it can't be. But what is her motivation? Does it even matter? I don't know. What I do know it that I just can't stay away. Tell me what you think.

Visit Carrie Oakey, but do so at your own risk. For those of you with a weak stomach, I suggest you stay away. This little girl just might be too much for you.

BTW, that last part about the papist child rapist church of idolatry slays me. Totally, honestly slays me! But capricorns tend to be irreverent.

How about some backgrounds?

These are small, only 300 x 300 each, but feel free to use them for something, if you are into that. They are called blue, because that is what they are. According to PSP, I made them last October. Must have been having a wierd day; the individual names are wacked. This is an extremely reduced picture of all of them. Clicking the image will take you to the zip file. If you do not wish to download a zip file, I can email them to you. These are jpgs, but if you would like the psd files, I can email those, too. (Some of the psd files have an extra layer to work with.) Do whatever you want with them; a link back would be nice.

Yesterday Sucked

It was just awful. Tessa's friend spent the night on Friday and the kids fought over her the whole time. It didn't help that she developed a crush on Austin. (Why on earth..?) I didn't realize I forgot to take my meds till 2 or so. I just couldn't handle the stress. Or the stupid. I have definitely had enough with the stupid! Their friend couldn't beleive how disrespectful the kids were to me or that they refused to do anything for themselves without oodles of complaining. And chores?

So I made a decision. The kids did there chores today, whining and all. I've had enough. And someone got into my car again. The sliding door was wide open! It's locked now, and will continue to be. Nothing was missing. This is just wierd. No one ever did anything to my car or truck. Should I worry? There is a very expensive dirt bike in the back of the truck. It's probably worth more than the pickup it sits in. Seriously.

Damn it

I forgot to get Bruce immunized today -again! They only do it on Mondays and Fridays. Don't let me forget next week ok?

Damn it!

Give it a rest

Well I got the kinks worked out finally. I just slept on it. I knew I was way too tired and burned out to stare at code any longer! Know what's funny? I fixed it today in a few minutes; I saw what the problem was right away. So there is some good to giving the brain a rest.

I finished the first three discs of Lost! It was excellent and the kids love it too. But it took too long and the kids haven't finished and I have to return them. I will just order them off of netflix and we will watch them next week. It was a spur of the moment thing anyway.

Bruce has learned to scream and hit! Not hard, its kinda cute, but I can't let him get away with it. And I tell him not to scream and to use his words. It can't be ignored, but it can't be rewarded either. He's just so incredibly cute.

The older two are at the boys and girls club for open house as guests. I should have signed them up last September! Oh well. At least now I know where all the kids in this town are! The place was packed and I think they will love it. I just have to scrape up the extra $50. So I am going to call Chantz and see what we can do.

Later
;D

New Look

So, what do you think? This is one of my own creations! The top image was created with an image made by 1Greeneye.net.

Later people. I have spent way too much time on this already.

;D

**Edit: I forgot to add that I got the pattern for the background from Zandora's Place!**

Doot da dooo...

Well it's the end of day 2 of Chantz being away again, and the night still went wonky. It's ok though, we were alright, just not orderly. We watched The Goblet of Fire, and it didn't end until 9:30. So we skipped story time, but everyone was happy and went to bed shortly after. I must admit I stayed away about halfway through the movie. I just knew they would get on better without me there. I tend to get really - ok I am a big pain in the ass and knew I would piss them off or start a fight. So I removed myself. It probably doesn't help that I didn't get my pills two days in a row. I have them now, but will take them in the morning. I knew how I would get because I got that way last night. Austin was testy and super whiney and he sucked me right in. I realized I was being bullied within hours (hey, it's almost a routine now- C leaves, they get controlling, I don't give in, they are nice, C comes home, they get crabby at him.) I still couldn't calm myself though. Once they Austin got me going it took me a while to get calmed down. I wouldn't rise to the bait today. I don't know what it is he gets out of getting me upset and crazy- it's probably like when he wants a glass of milk even tho he's allergic to the stuff.

I was referred to a book today called the Impossible Kid and it is about children's allergies. Austin's new councilor recommended it. He seems nice and I think it will work out. He said he thinks it will be very hard to convince a judge to charge a developmentally disabled kid with assault, like the school wants to do. It just reminded me that they aren't treating him like a disable child again, but a bad kid, an emotionally disturbed kid. We talked about his diagnosis again and how the school is limited in treating him by his label and he said he can hook up up with PLUCK (a child's advocacy group) if we need it. He said schools rarely fight PLUCK, so they must be good. But it is almost the end of the year, he is still only going 3 hours a day, no plan is set to lengthen his day and he isn't socializing like I want because he only spends science with his peers. They threw out the good schedule that had him going 4 hours off the bat because of the advice of the evil school I didn't want them to have contact with, other than to get his records. So fuck them.

Like it matters anyway, Chantz is in Texas with his parents because they are moving the business down there- finally. They had planned to stay down there and work while Chantz stayed here and worked, but business has fallen off up here due to the season and some other stupid stuff. So he went to Conroe and hopefully they will make enough money to stay. His parents were even looking at houses yesterday. C was supposed to go looking with them today but I have not talked to him to find out how that went. I don't want to call now because he is probably catching up on his sleep. We won't move until the baby is born- I could care less about school anymore! But I am going to have the baby here and then we can go. I am not in too big a hurry as long as I know we are going for sure. I actually like it when he is gone. With him on call he is always around and it drives me nuts. Plus I can't get anything done while he is home. I just finally got used to functioning with him away so now I have to adjust to also functioning when he is around a lot. In Texas it won't matter that he is on call; he will probably work every day at least! (Meaning he could get more than one run per day.) Seriously, the day after he left I spent the day cleaning- and didn't have one single problem with it. Now I just have to keep it up and finish the projects I have started.

Money is tight, so some will have to wait and I am ok with that, but I can't forget about them. Hopefully his parents will give us the rest of the money they owe us from buying our car so I can pay the auto insurance. We were short this month- We had 4 debits go unrecorded and got overdrawn (I only made one mistake, Chantz had four!) The od charge was only $12, but our account has a minimum balance of $100 and that had to be replaced. So with that, the amount we were over and the $36 total in ODC's, equals our insurance payment. Ok, so it is the last one I paid because I almost forgot about it, but the student loans have to be paid first anyway! I am going to call the swim team people and get my $40 back; we will be in Texas so I can cancel that. And I did something stupid. I ordered the slipcovers before I did the bills- so that was $128 I could have used for the darn bills. It's ok, we really really need slipcovers, our couch is totally disgusting, and if they come through with the money we will be fine anyway. It's just that they are slow sometimes and I may need to call and tell them that we desperately need the money right now.

The slipcovers are from Surefit (except that I ordered them from JCPenney's because they were so much cheaper!) We are getting the green suede. I was hoping to get the performance twill with Scotchgard fabric protector, they are also more sleek and smooth, but I wasn't fond of the colors. Too light. So I let the kids pick them out. I gave them choices that included clearance items and they both separately picked the green. So I guess they know what they are talking about. Not only will this make my furniture less grotesque, but it will help bring unity. My new (also clearance priced) curtains are burgundy, and the couches are red. Bleck! I ordered a few things a while back from LTD Commodities (wow are they cheap) that will also make the room more organized to the eye. I am trying to inexpensively give meaning to this room, for the first time since I have lived moved out of my parents house ('94). There are a few things I would like to get from Target, but I can't order them right now since we are having money issues. But they are on sale and I would hate to miss them- they may go out of stock. I like the global bazaar items from the website. There are these adorable boxes and elephants I have my eyes on. Nice, rich, dark colors, unified in theme- I can't wait. The hodge podge must go. Actually, it already has. I cleared off the entertainment center of the most offensive items and hid them or put them in Tessa's room. Now we wait.

I am getting excited.

New avatar

its 5 am and i need to go to bed. about an hour ago i realized the time, but kept working just so i could finish for ya. oh darn it, i didn't think it was really that late yet! my damn computer set its clock back already. phew! whatever.


Picked up this awesome preggy base at the purple dungeon.

Oooo

I won a judge's choice award for this doll I made for a contest at embrace your inner pink. The first place winners (there was a tie) were excellent! This was my first contest ever and I am glad I placed at all! Thanks!

Little update

The weather was nasty yesterday but looks like it is going to be nice today. Chantz is already pissy, probably cuz I woke him up (at 9). I got up at 7:30. No school today so we could sleep in and I still woke up early. Got a shower and did some dishes and a load of laundry already. I should go change it now.

Unfortunately it'll be to wet and muddy for Austin to go riding today. Too bad, the weather is nice.

I have to go make sure the boys don't shut the curtains. My plants need sun. Hell, so do they. If they could they would shut themselves up and never come out.

I have a feeling its going to be one of those days. I better get cleaning, keep my mouth shut and hope for the best. Oh, and I just found out that Austins paraeducator is moving to Billings. Yesterday was her last day. This is very sudden and it sucks. She worked well with Austin. Now they have to hire someone new and start all over again. Yay for progress.

New Corpse

View it here. Mine is panel two, the one with the arrow.

To say I am unhappy with it would be an understatement. I don't think I have ever worked on a corpse that has turned out like it should. I am tired of seams and people who can't follow the simple rules.

What a waste of my time.

It's not raining outside. It's not snowing, either. It's slushing! yuck!

I have a cold. Again. Will the nightmare ever end? I see the doc tomorrow for a baby checkup, and every two weeks after that. Austin saw him today to get a wart removed.

Austin was very bbad last week and hit his paraeducator. something was bothering him all week and I could tell. I thought a kid was picking on him. He finally told me that his aide was bugging him becuase she is everywhere he is; he has no space. He freaked out. He didn't know how to complain to us about it tho he mentioned it to her. She told him she was doing her job. So then he hated the school. I told him it was my fault; I told them to make sure he wasn't on the playground alone, etc. I thought they went overboard, but took the blame so he would not hate the school. Turns out it was mostly in his head; he had blown things out of proportion and beleived what he imagined. I explained to him that she is in the lunch room because it is her lunch time too. She won't sit between you and sam unless you are rowdy. So don't sit next to Sam. she is at recess to help the recess lady watch all the kids and its her recess too. She doesn't walk with you to the bathroom. He said ok.

But...

We had to have a meeting with Officer Roe and the whole IEP team to determine what we should do if he does this again. He didn't just hit her, he made threats. Funny, this is the first we heard of it. WE TOLD THEM TO WRITE THAT STUFF IN THE NOTEBOOK. All we get is he had a good day or he had a bad day. No, we need to know every bad thing he did so we can punish him for it at home. Chantz and I gave advice on how to avoid this from happening again. We still needed a plan for his behavior. So they decided that he will not be suspended since that is a reward for him, instead he will have to stay longer. YES! Finally something that makes sense. Or get an inschool suspension (he doesn't go all day so the ISS would take place after his day ended.) For assualt, tho, ie if he hits a teacher or student, they will call Officer Roe and have him sited which means youth court. Officer Roe was against it actually, but since Austin doesn't respond like a normal child, we may have to treat him like a grown up. Roe was concerned that if he gets lots of citations now, and get in trouble in highschool, it could back lash. This is a trial basis. He also will stay later if he refuses to finish his work. This may sound severe, but chantz and I are behind it 99%. I have my reservations, because he is my baby. Chantz worries that when Austin goes to youth court and realizes its no big deal (community service) he won't feel its a threat anymore and not care, you know?

Must go now, life calls.

And everything in between... what a cliche

The stupid dog woke me at 5:30 to go outside. Of course I can't go back to sleep once I have been woken so I moved to the couch to try. Can't have her barking at 6 am so I had to let her in. Put the whiner into her crate. She is so going into it tonight. I still don't like this dog. She acts like a baby. An 80 pound baby, do you see what I mean? No one can pet her, she'll ram her head into their crotch. I may have to pick up training her again just so she can stay in the house. She starts begging from Bruce because he likes to feed her. He'll steal my no bake chocolate oatmeal cookie to give to her! Grrr.... So I had to practically sit on her to get her to stay in the entry while he ate. Ok, I exaggerate a bit, but not about my dislike for her. Don't hate me, but I don't like her. I don't like our dog. I wish we had a farm. Then she could run all day chasing rabbits and other small creatures. Everyone else just lets their dogs run free. The southside is terrible for that. She isn't as viscous as she once was, a good sign I guess that she is growing up. Neighbors got a new dog so we have to listen to her (Rocksy) barking again. She can put her front paws up on the top of their fence. So she is irritating me and maybe that is why I don't like her now. I am very sound sensitive and I CANNOT listen to her barking out there. It is very loud. She's pretty tho. Everyone says how pretty she is. MIL has our digital video camera or I would possibly post a pic of her. MIL says to let her have a litter of pups and she'll be a better dog. Does this mean she'll grow the f@ck up?

I called Tom the other day, meaning two weeks ago, to set up an appointment to come and finish our 4th bedroom. You know, the 4th bedroom in a four bedroom house we have been paying 450 a month for since November? The forth bedroom that was supposed to be finished two weeks after we moved in. Did the handyman show up on Saturday? Did I expect him to show up on Saturday? Am I surprised one bit that he didn't? Or that we couldn't reach him? Hell no.

So today I get to go visit my landlady, not her husband, and set things straight. It's not our responsibility to make an appt with Tom. It's not our responsibility to make him keep his appts or reschedule them. We need that room so we can get settled in! The baby is coming and right now the nursery is in our room and the computer room. We have a bed for Bruce and it sits in here and the crib is in our room 3 feet away. It's more than crowded. We want to put Austin in the 4th bedroom and Bruce upstairs. We would need a baby monitor, but that's ok. We don't want Bruce's room down here because he climbs stairs and there are two sets down here. Austin's room is next to one of them, but it has a door we always keep shut. Then we can rearrange our rooms- these two are tiny and not optimized very well. It's hard to sleep when Chantz is playing EQ with Mike (they talk on the phone) but if I put the fan in our room and shut the door it is ok. I want the TV in there, but then they can't watch it while on the PC. That is fine with me! I want to watch it in bed. They can play XBox just as easy from my room. Plus then if I am blogging I don't have to hear it. Our Xbox remote broke; if we get a new one we'll have a DVD player in our bedroom. We took out all the crap from the unfinished room and set it on the pool table (now where am I supposed to do laundry?) I have to go thru all those boxes now. Most likely I will restuff them and take most of it to the shop for storage.

I have a lot of crap I could talk about, but shouldn't I shut it off now? I signed Tessa up with the Glendive Wet Devils (a play on Red Devils, our other sports teams)- swimming, obviously. The kids went rollerskating Friday night and loved it (there went ten bucks) and bowling the next night (fourteen dollars) with Tessa's friend. The little girl lives in Kansas with her dad and was just here for the week or I would never see my daughter. Tessa wanted money for the book fair on Friday and I gave her ten, told her to spend only five. Did she buy a book? Nope. Did she have change? Nope. Did she buy a a bunch of crap for her and her friends? Yep. Because they made her? Yep. Did she come home elated because so many kids wanted to play with her that day? Yep. Would I give my baby girl money to blow on her friends all the time if I could afford it?

Hell yeah.

Who has you wrapped around their finger?

Nice day

Weather's nice. I'm heading outside. Going to see how Chantz is doing changing those tires. Had enchiladas for lunch and even got in a short nap. I feel refreshed and not at all like I've been run over by a truck.


I am wearing this top today that I bought at Target. That isn't me; I need a bra on to keep that boost in this shirt. This is the target model from the website. Later!

I'm good ;D

We sold the car to Chantz's parents and have some extra cash. We bought a TV on clearance at kmart. It was for our room, but conveniently our big TV (25") is going out (there is something wrong with the color) and the new one (only 20") is going in the LR. It has awesome color, is flat not rounded and shows the crispest words! It is easier to play xbox games when you can read the screen. It doesn't show the time or what is on like the other one, but the color makes up for it.

And it was a steal. The clearance price was $145 and the shelf model was the only one left. It came tagless so a manager had to get the price for the cashier, and I said to him, "I know this is on clearance, but it is a shelf model..."

He said, "No problem, how does $130 sound?" Great! Ha! Am I good or what? Seriously, I couldn't loose anything by asking.

How good are you at talking sales people down?

A rant

Montana just passed a law that says if a girl is raped and she reports it, she won't be charged with underage drinking and neither will friends who help her out. What? So before, young girls who were raped were getting charged with underage drinking? Did the cops have anything else to do other than harass terrified girls?

They passed the law out of necessity; if underage girls were drinking and got raped, they wouldn't report it out of fear of being arrested! My lord....

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Mysterious drops of blood are appearing around the house, and the only possible source is Rocksy! This sucks! Now I have to let her out for no more than a few minutes and watch her the entire time! We don't need any mutts!

---

My tail bone isn't bruised, its some blahgiggleyblah otherwise known as part of the pelvis. Its just a bruise. Speaking of bruises, I looked at my bum in the mirror after the fall, but I didn't bend over and look at my bum. Chantz caught a peek when I was changing today. "My god are you bruised!" So I took a look, and boy is it black and blue! No wonder it hurts so damn bad. The doctor had me lay flat on my back yesterday; he listened to the heartbeat and poked my belly. That was the most painful day so far! My hips hurt, from one side to the other straight across my lower back. I think it was from laying down like that (and because of the fall). I had so many things to do! I just wanted to go home, but couldn't. I bought a foam "donut" for the van, but it doesn't help as much as I would like. It isn't big enough- its not my tailbone, but my pelvis, and it hurts no matter how I sit on it! Its comfy tho' and after I heal I think I'll keep it in there. Driving is so painful I can't bring myself to do it often! I used the heating pad (plug in kind) yesterday; laid it over me while on the couch. I fell asleep like that and it must have shut itself off, but by morning I felt fine. I got that thing last year when I had sciatica with Bruce. Currently my neck and back hurt, but Chantz is helping his mom with her computer so I its mine! I will blog thru thepain. I probably have a while- he's at his mom's, he he! (Double experience points on EQ for a few days, I may not be around much. He is psyched.)

---

Bruce is getting another molar and it is pretty painful. He is so bratty! Crabby and hitting, and throwing little fits. It's all I can do not to yell at him to quit or pick him up and baby him. I make him use the words he knows and won't respond to "eh eh ehhhhhhhhhhhhh"! It's hard, but I am trying. I don't want him to get spoiled during this painful phase.

---

My ultrasound won't be until I am 34 weeks, Susie. Dr Long will do it; he needs to check my scar and he will set the date for the c-section. I don't think he's performing it, but he will probably be there for it. He's the OB, Dr Swarny is family practice. I am also getting fixed while they are in there. Its just too dangerous to try to have more kids. More kids!? Are they crazy? I was gonna anyway! Four is enough! In case you are wondering, I am 29 weeks now.

Does anyone else think Drank and Josh (nick) is dumb? I can't stand taht show and the kids love it!

How about a book review or two?

Just read American Chillers Alien Androids Attack Arizona. I started reading it to the kids, and it was so good that I kept reading! It is only 180 pages long, a quick read, and full of surprises. Shelby overhears her 5th grade teacher speaking in a monotone voice into her watch. Strange things keep happening, and Shelby knows that her teacher is a robot! No one will believe her, not her parents or her two best friends, Arielle and Joe. She has to prove to someone that alien robots are here and are planning to take over the world. With surprising twists and an amazing journey through space, this book will captivate you... or at least captivate your children.

I also finished reading Redwall by Brian Jacques. This is considered a children's book, although much longer than American Chillers. This tale is surprisingly filled with violence and mild language, but I would still recommend it for children in the 3rd grade and up. It is currently being read to my daughter's 3rd grade class, and by her surprised reaction to my reading of it, I am sure that the teacher is filtering out some of the grittier language. It is a sweet tale of a young mouse, a novice monk, with dreams of becoming more... so much more. And until Cluney the Scourge shows up, it is only a dream. This mad rat and his army reek havoc on the woodland creatures surrounding Redwall Abbey, killing those who refuse to join his assault. Creatures flock to the abbey for protection and Matthias realizes his destiny of becoming a warrior, just like Martin from days of old. Cluney is evil; the most despicable kind of creature in existence. Led on by dreams of defeat to a mouse named Martin, he terrorizes the inhabitants of Redwall Abbey, or at least he tries to. All his complicated schemes seem to go awry, but he doesn't give up! The creatures from the abbey are strong, they will not go without a fight! This story is adorable yet intriguing, constantly leading the reader to ask what will happen next? With many twists and turns, this tale is complex yet simple, and there is no surprise it is an enduring classic. Redwall is the first in a series of many, and I know readers of all ages will be spellbound with the turning of the first page.

My caravan, sort of

Since I am lazy, here are some pics of my new van from the dodge website:



Picture this in forest green. It actually changes colors; sometimes it looks bluegreen.






The 06's have bucket seats in the second row, with a space in the middle. I like this style you see here better, and it is what we have. These two seats both have built in car seats. I can sit next to Bruce if he is crabbing off back there, or one of the kids can. The infloor storage is great; the kids tend to just step on stuff.




I don't know if it does this yet, but the site says all 05's do. Now I can't wait for Chantz to come home so we can play with it some more.






There are a bunch of options we don't have, but we would like to get. The driver side has the power! My seat is adjustable by just pushing a button! I love it, especially since I bruised my tailbone. Makes getting in and out much easier!

Oh, btw, I fell down the stairs on Monday. I am ok, but banged up. We put grip tape on the stairs so it shouldn't happen again. Yup, Dawn slip on her ass all the way down the stairs.

I don't recommend it.

The good news first...

... is that I don't have gestational diabetes. I was supposed to take a glucose tolerance test between 27 and 28 weeks, so of course I waited until the last minute to do it. As a matter of fact, I only went because I was feeling so crappy. See, I thought I might have low blood sugar. So I drank that sweet orangey stuff and an hour later went back to the lab for a blood draw. An hour later I felt normal, and I continued to feel better all night. That was on Friday.

Why is it that everytime I go to take a nap someone will call? No matter what, everytime. The phone will be silent all day, I lay down and it will ring. And keep ringing, damn it. I can't shut the ringer off in case Chantz or his parents call; it could be important. So I wasn't surprised when the phone immediately rang this afternoon. I was surprised it wasn't Chantz. When it said blocked call I assumed it was some damn creditor and if I didn't pick up they'd keep calling. it was Tammy, Dr. Swarny's nurse calling to tell me the good news.

Feeling crappier and more run down than on Friday, I asked her if it was possible that I might have low blood sugar. She said I was in the normal range, but looked again and said my level was 92, meaning I was probably 50 before the test. I asked her what that meant, and she said it meant I was probably hypoglycemic. Should I mention it to Dr. Swarny at our next visit? Yes, she says, and she would make a note of it in my chart. So that's my bad news. This isn't new, I have been like this as long as I can remember, but I just always made sure I ate something and I was fine. But this pregnancy is different. Its not getting better. Ever since Friday I have been craving that orange drink. I hope we can figure something out.

I know many of you have had problems with doctors; I've read the posts. I am so lucky to have Dr. Swarny. Very lucky considering his practice is technically closed. He doesn't take new patients, unless they are in the same family, like my kids. He delivered Tessa, so I had no problem. I didn't have to bully him like the nurses all do (to get him to deliver their kids). He is a family practice doctor and big in our hospital. I like him. His name is Bruce, too! I guess I end with good news, too.

Dream

In this dream a girl I used to work with in the mental health unit at our local hospital and I were taking an intro to nursing course. We both joined the class after it had already started, missing a few weeks each. We started at the same time and they weren't going to give us credit for the class; we would have to take it over. While sleeping I felt this part was familiar, as if I was continuing a dream from before. The girl decides to sue the school into letting her take it for a grade because she could make up the work. For some reason I had not done this yet and the instructor gave her a project to work on but not me. I told them I could do it also and that I was going to sue the school, too. My friend helped me to do that. then I did the project, which was a sewing project. We had to sew a red velvet bag together. A simple bag with two long handles in a square shape. The first time I did mine wrong and had to redo it. I also took the book and turned in work from the first chapter. I really needed to take this class.

Later (after having been awoken by Bruce and moving to the couch because I was irritated that Chantz was sleeping facing me- yeah I get weird when I am tired) in another dream, I was trying to get some from Chantz and stuff kept happening to prevent it. A lot was going on and I don't remember too much except that I finally took care of the "problem" myself. (lmao!)

That's not art...

... they told Peggy Hill.

Hank was looking for a piece of art to purchase to put on the highway into Arland, but of course all the modern art was wierd to this true Texan. So he asks Peggy to make something; she chooses a "Probot," a robot made out of propane tanks. The council goes to approve it and here is there conversation:

"Interesting."
"Yes, Interesting."
"Interesting, what do you think?" This continues and Snobby Lady asks the most important question of this episode, "Who is the artist?"

In comes Peggy Hill, and says it is her and all hell breaks loose. "Aren't you my daughter's substitute Spanish teacher?" "You're not a real artist!" "What a waste of our time!" "Not approved!"

So Hank's boss calls in a "real" art dealer who sees Peggy's Probot on his way into town, offers to buy it and any more she makes and offers to give her a show. She invites the snobby cow from the council and off they go, dressed all fancy. And there at the show is a sign that reads, "I ain't got no learnin' art". Yep, he passed her off as an inbred, uneducated, mountain girl, childbride (she grew up in Montana, married just after highschool and has no formal art education). People liked her art because they felt sorry for her. Snobby Lady smirks and says, "I understand now."

She gets a letter written in a huge font in simple language from the council still denying her art work and demanding it be removed from the highway. The art guy is an ass who refuses to sell her art as from a normal person because no one would buy it. Peggy takes her probot back and wants to destroy it, but Hank's tools are at Srickland Propane. They haul the bot over there and the customers are excited! They loved the Probot, it made them feel safe, etc. And could she make one doing this for their yard? And that guy wants one, too.

Real people want Peggy's Probots.

Apparently, according to King of the Hill, art is only real if it is made by some snotty, smelly true artist- you know, someone who has gone to art school and never bathes. Know what? I bet people really think like that.

F@#kers.

Chantz is working today

Business still hasn't picked up yet. Not till the weather is nicer. So I have the house to myself. Yes!

He told me since the house is my job that I am the boss of the house. So I should tell him (nicely) to get off his ass and do something with that huge cooler in the entry way, etc. He said he might get mad at first, but later on he usually realizes that he shouldn't leave his "socks on the floor". Yes! I have the power! I just can't get pissy or he'll get pissy. He hates it when anyone talks with attitude. For those of you unaware, I am a stay at home mom. That is why I get to be the boss.

I still have a hard time keeping the house clean when he is home. It's just easier for me when he is not around. He needs something to do when he is waiting for a run. The kids act funny when he is home to. Used to be they were bossy and bullies when he was gone and now it is the opposite. I got them to listen and behave for me while he's working and now they are shitheads when he is home. Go figure. We had a busy weekend and didn't do yoga and story time. We were in a hotel for pete's sake! So the past 3 nights have been hell. One break from consistency and all hell breaks loose. I probably could have handled it better, but when they started fighting because they don't like to look at each other during story time I quit reading and told them they could do more yoga or go to bed. (But its not nine yet!!!) We started with yoga to help them get relaxed and not fidgit so much during story time but it didn't work. We started at 7:30 instead or 8- snack, teeth and jammies- to have more time to read. Although Tessa did wait until 7:50 to eat something. (Grrrr). It didn't work. I don't know what to do. I wanted to give up and never do it again. I didn't even want to be in the same room with my kids! Tessa went to bed crying and Austin was pissy (what's new there?). She kept talking thru yoga- being bossy. She has to be in control I swear! I say she can do a sun salutation on her own because mommy can't do all the moves anymore, so don't follow what I do. She says but but but I don't know what to do. So I say fine, I'll tell you as we go. Austin decides to jump in but he is being goofy and distracting me. Tessa blurts out downward facing dog? Tess! I give her freedom and she says she wants me to do it. I do it and she runs her mouth. I can't take it. It isn't just hell hour, they do this crap all day! I stand up to mountain pose and Austin is right in front of me making faces. I push him back (not hard, just out of my space) and say what are you doing? So Tess was crying and he was pissy and the whole thing was a flop. I told them tonight is the last try. They either behave or I am done. They can just go to bed at 8. Austin is grounded from his new game. He gets this way when he finds a new game he really loves. It is starcraft for the PC. Also no goofy cartoons at all. I usually let him watch one a day. He has to stick to dramatic, violent cartoons with a point like transformers and teen titans. Some Disney ones are alright, but no timon and pumba, ed, edd, and eddy or spongebob or jimmy neutron and fairly odd parents. He doesn't realize he can't act like that in real life. Most kids can't handle violence, but Austin understands that isn't real and doesn't go around pretend fighting (like his cousins who can no longer watch power rangers). He is a "stooge" and it drives us nuts.

He had a phonics homework sheet and he did awesome with me and got it done quickly. It didn't get done at school because his aide wouldn't help him sound out the words. She wanted him to do it himself. But he can't! He is a whole to part learner and doesn't get it. So I did it with him. I just make the first sound and then any diphthongs, etc. At school he reads and she writes for him. But she sucks! She wrote "that his a jurk" for "that he's a jerk" twice! on his paper. He said he didn't spell it, she did, and that if he doesn't like how she writes he can do it himself. I don't know if I believe him yet. I'll ask again in a few days and if he says she does do that then I will talk to them. How ridiculous. How is she supposed to teach him if she can't spell herself? F@*#tard!

I made up with Tessa last night and snuggled her as she went to sleep. Austin was still mad. This morning he was bitching because Tessa was moving her feet a little while she sat on the couch. That is the crap I am dealing with here! I am going to make Austin work at home, one page a day I think. The reading workbook I got for homeschooling is the same one Tessa used this year in school! So I know it is a good book to use. I really wish they went to the same school but Washington doesn't have a special ed room. They have the same principal, but it still isn't the same. Tessa's school is better. He will be a fifth grader next year and if we stay here he will go to middle school. He will have to be homeschooled this summer if he is to catch up. They have him doing subtraction when I had him multiplying single digits. The other forth graders are multiplying double digits! His reading work is babyish and well below what he is capable of. They don't want to push him because he can get volatile. He'll get over it! He is going to get bored, I know it! So I am going to get some of my own worksheets going and print them off then I am going to pick out work book pages for him to do. We will keep up the math, too. He will get mad, but I will give him goofy cartoons in return ("what's my motivation?" he'll ask!)

I'll still do reading nights, I was just upset. They need it. We are reading the Great Blueberry Barfoff by R.L. Stine. His Rotten School books are awesome! We now have books one thru three and book five. Seriously, your kids should read them! They are five bucks at Wal-mart. Other titles are: THE GREAT SMELLING BEE / THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE VERY SLIMY / LOSE, TEAM, LOSE! / SHAKE, RATTLE, AND HURL! and THE HEINIE PRIZE. I'd better get going. I have a lot to do and not much time to do it.

Later,

;D

I'm back

Got the van and some cool stuff. Have much to do and money to spend (on bills).

;D

one more night or sewing the seeds of love- dear god please kill me now!

I'm bored and I should go to bed but I don't want to he snores and I have issues just his breathing sounds bother me but I am tired so it might not matter tonight I think the dog is out of her crate and roaming around but I don't want to go look I hear her drop her stupid bone it is huge a nuckle I got in miles city today. she likes it. finally got a hotel one with a pool like I can swim like this my ass is huge it looks funny a big tummy and a big butt legs aren't so big tho I think it looks funny. need to lose this ass. so anyway we are getting a new vehicle and tessa threw a fit over packing want to only take ugly old clothes that don't fit I threw them up high for now told her to pick out a nice not casual outfit just in case and she went for the couple of old shirts I left out for her dumb cow. makes me so mad a damn drama queen i swear what to do with her? hung all her clothes up in outfits so she can find them ( I like to mix and match! That's fine tessa but you had them all shoved on a shelf you don't have to wear them like that grrr) I told her to pick out a fancy outfit after giving in to her ugly bathing suit and wolfy wolfy shirt- long story- more I gave more she cried. said pick one of these she said all that is cruddy so I grabbed all her new clothes that me and grandma bought and threw them in the box in the hall she says that's not what I meant. what is her problem? you won't have to wear it it is just in case we decide to go somewhere nice. I refuse to let her wear ripped, stained, old, too small clothes it is embarrassing and ridiculous she needs to let go already. some are nice but not appropriate for photos or restaurants. so picked it out myself. she still cried then finally said that shirt with that outfit god what was her malfunction? she does this shit to me all the time, know who else acted like that? my little sister. drove me nuts. I think they are the same sign what luck for me. drama drama drama want to pull out my hair. would rather listen to Austin scream and throw shit and stomp and threaten me for hours on end than put up with that whining baby crap: oh my life sucks! whatever not even close not compared to my childhood where people were actually mean to me and I mean my family. we get her nice stuff are nice to her don't make her do loads of chores spend time with her read to her but ask her to do something for me cuz I am busy and she throws a fit and cries. tell her she cannot wear that and she will brush her hair and out come the tears. I tell her stop tess I don't feel sorry for you. girl tears just make it worse please quit and so she cries harder and louder my god sometimes I swear! do I give in? not hardly! know why? giving in a little or even compromising makes it worse she wants more her life sucks even worse argh but Bruce is cute and was biting me today little bites and he giggled at me bit me on the boob! then he fell asleep wierd kid. gotta go to old navy- asswipe, fucktard has always missed it but not this time they have maternity clothes and kids stuff and goddamn it we are going stupid fucktard! I like that word need to get swim stuff for the boys and me- can't find any old stuff and maybe something for tess so she won't wear that ugly one I let her take make me gag oh but her friend gave it too her. argh boys are easier I swear I love tess she just drives me insane wait till she is a teenager I will have to lock her up! or become super good at reverse psychology or something. tummy hurts need to eat or something. goodnight now. can't get those damn songs out of my head either...

Not that anyone cares...

... but hopefully we will be going to billings tomorrow. I was gone all day on a run with chantz and started to get overwhelmed when I got home. But hey, I have all night to get ready. So I decided to take a breather and relax. So here I am relaxing! (And rewashing a load of laundry I forgot to put away!)

The car dealer was in a hurry cuz his sales month ended today and he needed one more sale to be associate of the month or something. I told him we couldn't come down until Friday or Saturday. Actually I told him day one we wouldn't have money until Friday. Like I am going to Billings without cash!!! And no we didn't want to buy a van over the phone and have it delivered, although it is a four hour trip. Did I mention that? Yeah, the nearest mall is either 4 hours east or 4 hours west. I really wanted to go to Bismarck to blow cash, but who the hell wants to pay sales tax on a vehicle? So Billings it is. I just could drive in Bismarck because we lived there. It is a very nice town. City. Whatever!

We need stuff for the house! Containers and Bruce's new bed and a potty chair and everything else! After I settle down I will put on some comfortable clothes and see if he wants to clean out the truck tonight at the shop or tomorrow morning. I'd rather get it done tonight. I am going to pack- I am not forgetting the stroller! Another shower sounds good, too, but I just finished dishes and the laundry is on hot tonight. I guess I will visit my blogging friends!

Later.

Just a quickie

...because I am tired. The bike is cool. We went out to some park area for orv's for him to practice. It was a but bit muddy. We let Rocksy off the leash- and she came back to us! She ran and ran! She loved it out there. It is raining today so no way are we going back. I couldn't sleep last night- I kept thinking about money stuff. I am very very tired now.

filled out a form from the bar none website (car loans for people with bad or no credit). Its cool because they won't turn us down! So I have been dealing with this dealership in Billings but have to wait till Chantz isn't so busy to really get shit done. He wants and SUV over a van cuz he thinks it will get stuck. But they told me the van sits about 8 inches higher than my car. Its an 05 Caravan. I might just see if he wants to go to Billings so we can look for ourselves. It has to have less than 50,000 miles on it. They really want to do this because their work month ends tomorrow and he'd like to get in a sale (the finance guy told me. I like him!) But they can wait. I am in no hurry. I have the down payment now so I would rather not wait.

Too much. Musttt ssslllleeeeepppppp...

My baby got an A!

Austin got an A on his science test! This wasn't a little quiz, but a really long test with multiple choice, essay questions and he had to make a chart and a pictograph! He got only 1 wrong! The subject was electromagnetics, something he is interested in.

Austin works with an Aide and some of the test was done orally, with the Aide filling in for him because his writing isn't very good. It is their compromise: Austin reads if she will write. He did the chart and graph completely by himself, though! Wow! For those of you who do not know this is very impressive (he is diagnosed with PDD NOS). He only goes to school for 3 hours a day and science is the only subject he spends in the regular classroom. As we lengthen his day, he will be incorporated into the class for other subjects like math and history. He will continue English and reading in the special ed room.

We have to do something super special for him. Chantz gets paid on Wednesday and we will have to think of something to celebrate. And he wasn't in all that good of a mood this morning. I am just beaming! I looked over that test and there are things I don't even know!

**Update**
Grandpa told Austin that for going back to public school (he was previously homeschooled due to his behavior) and doing well he would buy him a motorcycle (dirtbike) this spring. He is picking Austin up at 2 to take him down to look for one and measure his size! They were thinking a 90 or something. Isn't this cool?

And I'm still sick

***Grossness Warning: the following post refers to bodily functions in some detail. Proceed with caution!***


I have this terrible thing called post nasal drip. Which means I also have a sore throat, since snot keeps running down it. That makes me gag, choke, and cough. I cough so forcefully that my whole body convulses. Then guess what happens? Yep, I pee! I get colds, then I get stuck with post nasal drip for 2 or 3 weeks of hell. I take claritin, but it isn't working too well right now.

At least I am not up in the mountains this year. I have allergies up there that make my throat constrict, my body convulse and breathing very hard to do. Plus there's that pee thing. I bought these thick pads last spring, but can't find them and I had a bunch left (I got pregnant in August, remember? No allergies, no period, the dang things should be here somewhere!). Now I have to wait to tomorrow to get them so I don't feel like an old incontinent lady. A pregnant, old incontinent lady! Benedryl works great, but it knocks me out for at least two hours! The only other thing to stop the dripping is tylenol cold and allergy or cold and sinus- yellow pills. Trust me, I have tried every antihistamine out there.

Know what doctors prescribe for PND? Decongestants. "Let's just let it run!" Ok, then it pours down my throat rather than drip, causing me to choke so hard I throw up. That happened when I was pregnant with Bruce and I had a sinus infection. The doc gave me a decongestant, and all I had to eat or drink was blue gatorade, thank god! Can you imagine hocking up red gatorade in the shower? That would have been nasty(er)! Plus it makes the soar throat worse!

I try to clear my throat like my aunt and grandma do; they have suffered allergies for years, but it just doesn't seem to help. It hurts less, and I don't "you know", but I do it constantly! Blowing my nose constantly gets annoying, and sleep? Ha! The best cough drops are the ones that numb the throat completely (oral anesthetics), I cannot recall their name right now. They taste like shit, but work great. I just googled cough drops... Sucrets! That's it! Extra strength Sucrets!

The dog is howling. Gotta go!

Tessa's Dolls

Here are three dolls that Tessa made. The first two we worked on together, the last one she did all by herself.




The bases for these are by Angy Chan of Yume Studio.

Isn't she talented? My favorite is the last one. She doesn't have any shading yet, but her style is very original. Tess has a great imagination!

New doll

Here is a doll I made for a contest I am participating in. Remember this is mine, so no stealing, FredCQ!

(I kill me...)



The base is from embraceyourinnerpink.com. I swear that name makes me giggle. Oh I am so not feeling good today. I am a bit loopy and haven't even had any cold medicine!

The neat background with the column- I made that. I actually have a much bigger image for this doll. All from scratch. *sigh*

I am still sick. It has moved to my chest. I even drank tea! Black of course because I think sweetened tea is discusting. And I am burping up the fish oil pill I took. Bleck.

I am all sweaty and gross- I took a shower last night before bed! I have an itchy cough and I am so tired. It snowed, the kids are home (no school today, but they had school on Monday, go figure) and the boys are playing xbox. A dumb shrek game that they don't like; they must be bored. Who knows what Tessa is doing. Maybe she will let me read to her. This way I get to read a book and not get shit for it. Reading is very addictive.

Gotta go now, bye!

I

am sick and so I am going to take a long hot bath with bubbles, read Redwall and pass out. I made cookies today and joined a health club and picked up my taxes which only cost $60 and it is way cheaper than it should be and that is so cool. I may not be around because I hate being sick and am going to try to suck sympathy from Chantz. It never works, but I must try.

bye bye!

*sigh*

When I don't have anything to say, is that when I actually have the most? The house is gross. I got behind last week when Chantz was home because I felt sick and let him cook supper. He cleaned up the first meal, but not the second because he had to leave. When I cook I fill the sink and wash dishes as I go. He didn't. I couldn't look at that mess with out feeling overwhelmed. Its cleaned up, but I am not caught up yet. I have dishes from last night on the counter and I want to cry. I'll do it, I won't leave that mess for him to see when he comes home tonight. I'll have to do the whole kitchen. Tessa made a mess in her room again and it'll take a week just to get her to clean it. Chantz "dumped" austin's closet- into a room that had been very clean. So now I have to get him to do that, too!

Let's see, I have laundry, the kitchen, the floors, the bathroom and my room to clean. I'll do the laundry and kitchen today and save the rest for tomorrow. This way I won't feel bad if I can't get those other things done, and will feel good if I stretch and get some of the tomorrow's done today. Tessa gets a very much needed hair cut today at 4! Finally! I found a picture of her with her best cut for her type of hair and I am taking it with. I also need to call and find out what the payoff on our pickup is so we can get that paid for. That is what we want to do with our refund this year: pay off our credit cards, the bed, the washer/dryer, the truck, my fine and past due bills. I also plan on purchasing a toddler bed and mattress for Bruce. It is a toss up between a wooden one and a cute blue Winnie the Pooh bed. There is a big baby sale at Kmart this week and I might have to get whatever is left.

I will probably have to put it on layaway, because our tax guy had a bad sinus infection last week and was not able to get our taxes in right away. Its a good thing I stopped by to check on it because he moved it to the top of the pile and he apologized profusely. So now we are not sure if it is going to come this Friday or next. This sucks because I told the people we owe money to that we were getting it on Friday. They did however expect me to mail the money in, so that gives me a week anyway. I will just pay by phone, I guess. I was hoping to get this over with. I hate owing people money. When we were first married we owed money on nothing and lived quite comfortably on minimum wage. Of course the kids are more expensive now and our gas bill is atrocious, but he makes a tad more than minimum wage, lol! (Bruce that just took off his clean diaper and tossed it on the desk, "ka ka ka.")

So if I get my cleaning done and get a shower in when and if babyboy naps, I can go to Kmart and check out that baby sale. Oh did I mention that I got the basement shower done? WE are going to test it now! Later!

"Tha's Ka Ka!"

Yum, we bought some Bar S polish dogs yesterday! They are so good! Or at least we think so. I offered Bruce a piece of it and like a good boy who tries and loves everything, he shoved it in his mouth, bun and all. Oh my! You should have seen the look on his face as he spit it out! He was disgusted!

Later, when Tessa came home from school, I offered her one. She likes them, too. She putz's around the kitchen for a few minuses and then sits in the rocking chair, polish dog and bun in hand. My little sweetie poo walks up to her, points at her food and emphatically exclaims, "Tha's Ka Ka!" If he could have, I am sure he would have put it in the garbage for her. It was sooo very funny! I think he was warning Tessa of the dangers of polish sausage!

Isn't he cute?

---

It is very cold here, about 20 below. I told Austin to sit in the car as he waited for the bus. But he stood there in the cold (uh, gee George...) I am like, Austin, get in the car!!! And the dumb bitch I call a dog? She takes off through the front door and out into the cold! And what do I think? You stupid dog, I hope you get run over and die! I hate you! Hmm, I really thought I had gotten over that. I am afraid because she is dangerous to strangers. She would probably bite someone who approached her. Plus she is a pure bred. Someone might (try to ) steal her. Then they would get bit! Did I mention it is freezing out? I got some baloney and tracked her down and got her in pretty quick. I hope this doesn't become a game of escape-get-baloney. Then I will get really mad!

Poor baby...

I've got 15 minutes!

Because Mike's wife forgot her "lunch" (RN, night shift) so Chantz is taking a break from everquest. Only because I asked. Isn't he nice?

Alice (mil) watched the heathens last night while we went to the Rainbow Club in Wibaux for a valentine's day dinner. He used to work there and everyone knows him and they usually have really good food. Usually. We got a table, got waited on, then we waited. And waited, but so was everyone else. We ordered the 2 for $40 special: one appetizer (moz chz stix), two entrees (8oz lobster tail, 14oz blackened ribeye, med rare) and a desert. We got the stix and then continued to wait, my salad by now long gone. And then the table next to us (my yoga instructor, btw) who came in after us, with the same server- got their food. Huh, they ordered the same thing as us, hmmm... and what? thats not the right potato? "Excuse me, we ordered before them.." "Sorry, once the ticket is up it is out of my hands."

Um, so she should have gone and looked, right? So we wait and wait and wait and if he didn't know them we would have left. So Chantz asks the other server if she'll go see if she can find our ticket; maybe it disappeared. So she tells our server who goes into the kitchen. We wait. She comes out and tells us our order will be ready soon. And it was. How ironic, that it is ready after she searches for it. C-"She probably forgot to put our ticket up. It wouldn't be the first time she has ever done that." Me- "We got the appetizer..." C- "How many people do you think ordered chz stix? She probably just took one that came up." Me- "Oh." And since she blamed everyone under the sun but herself, including the owner, that is what I am going with. We were there for HOURS. Three or four tables that came in after us got there food before we did! She should have checked when I said something. Or maybe I could have been more assertive.

Oh, and our food? It came with the wrong potato. Imagine that.

"Wha? Huh? Oh Lord, am I dumb!"

My MIL has the car and put the new door on it so it is drivable (yes, she is the perfect woman, I know. I concede this.) Chantz just needs to wire it in and put the inner panel on. He brought a carcharger from the shop and got my truck running! Yay! I wouldn't dream of driving his truck, it is massive.

Freedom at last! I even went to WIC and the grocery store alone today! It was heavenly... and the bath, oh the hot bath I had... splendor.

Guess who is sleeping again? But I can't blame him. He has spent much time on the road or in a hotel the last few weeks. He is wiped out.

And Katy, I haven't heard from you in a while. I feared you walked off the side of the earth (it is flat, you know!) And while I do love milk, it was for the baby. He eats food and drinks juice, but if he doesn't get his bottles of milk he gets pretty ornery (pronounced "onree", here in MT). I did drink some orange juice the other day, actually. I get all this juice from WIC and after a while apple and grape get boring. Know what Chantz brought up from Texas? Strawberries! Juicy, cold strawberries and I have been chowing on them so much I will probably awake in the morning to find I have turned bright red! He brought bags of oranges, too.

And oddly enough, my teeth don't hurt one bit (from the fruit, people- keep up). And Alice (the MIL) isn't just perfect for putting a car door on, or cleaning and vacuuming my car, or knowing everything else she knows, but mostly because of one little thing she said to me. 5 little words. I have many errands and Bruce goes with me, he is very heavy, I have a bad back, I carry him all over the place... do you see where I am going with this? So after one day of great pain, my mil asked me the simplest question that I am sure will alter my life forever, or at least until I pop this thing (the new baby) out of me. She said something so profound that I will never, at least for a while, complain about her use of our back door rather than the front door. So, do you know what she said to me? Huh? Do you?

She said, "Don't you have a stroller?"

Yay

He's Home!

It's Sunday!

I have a doll I am working on for a contest that I haven't finished yet. I know if I start I won't be able to stop untill it's done, so its on the backburner.

I spent yesterday working on a new template for Fred CQ. I couldn't get the blogger code to work in the new layout, so I simply customized his old one. I made the header graphic, it looks pretty cool. I would have saved much time just using the old one to begin with. I don't know why it wouldn't work, I have made many of my own. Probably a simple mistake!

Chantz never came home this morning, so I figured they were delivering the tools. I got a hold of him in Sidney (oddly, there is no coverage between towns!) and he is on his way to Williston, then hopefully he will come home. I really need the car! Gee wiz, they could of dropped it off on their way through town! But its ok, they are in a hurry and will be home in a few hours- three, maybe?

I am staying off, because if I start anything today I won't be able to stop! I am going upstairs to read The Mystery of Ireta.

La de da...

Chantz is coming home! He should be here late tomorrow night sometime. Hopefully he will get to stay, but if he does I may not be around for a few days, so don't spaz on me, now...

How about a list of some of the things I have done lately:

• Left the lights on in the truck and killed the battery. It is still dead and there is no one to help me get my car which I...
  
• Left at my MIL's house and we are out of milk. So I have to walk 8 blocks to Loaf and Jug tomorrow. Just great.
• Dyed my hair, finally. I think I was just bored with that color and that's why I put off doing it. I used a darker shade of red (burgundy, Garnier 100% Color) by the same brand as the lighter red. This one has more brown in it. The other was bright, but faded to carrot...
• Found out that my baby likes it when the kids smell his feet
• Smacked Rocksy's butt and gave her a major scolding like you wouldn't believe. Do you know what she did? She chewed on my bamboo stir fry spoon that I have had for 12 years!!!! It was the best wooden spoon ( it is almost flat) I have ever had, and was indestructible, or so I thought. Dumb *****! I think it may still be usable, but still makes me mad. It just isn't the same. So if someone wants to buy me a new Bamboo spoon...
• Trained Rocksy today. In the house, on the leash: heel, sit, heel, sit, down, stay (all with "good girl" praises). Then I had her sit, let go the leash, backed up a few feet and had her stay. Then I squatted down and called her to me and she came! But do you know what she did then? SHE PEED! Right on my carpet. We tried it again, she peed again! This is submissive peeing and it is the first time she has ever done that "for" me. I think it was last nights scolding (she pouted in the entry way for a long time afterwards) that did it.
  

That's all I can think of right now. I am going to pee and then read my book, The Mystery of Ireta by Anne McCaffrey.

;D

UPDATE

So Susie do very kindly informed me that it is time to update. Here are some of her questions:

"okay, it's time for you to update the darn blog. whats baby bruce up to? Hows Austin doing in school? Do his teachers like him?"


Bruce is doing great! He is toddling around the house like he owns the place. I bought a multi colored toy ball with bells inside at the dollar store and he loves to play ball with Tessa. He likes to throw it over the gate and make her go get it. She figured out to just go on the other side and toss it back and forth plays some tag game with him, too. It involves much screaming and giggling- from both of them. He had been a little crabby at times, but not as bad as before. He may be teething again. He is super well behaved. At the accountants yesterday he sat in a chair quietly sucking his thumb and rubbing his ear. So I gave him a Dum Dum sucker, which he sat there quietly eating. The tax guy was impressed. For dinner the other day, I put into a sectioned plate baked beans, corn, mashed potatoes and finely chopped pork. He ate the beans and corn by hand, played and ate the potatoes, but tossed the meat into a pile away from him- not scattered or on the floor, just in a pile over there. He didn't like it. How cute is that? He throws his garbage away, as well as toys and other objects he thinks should go in the trash, lol. He will shut the frig if I ask him to, and it makes hi giggle. He has a new game to play with rocksy, which she actually plays back... touch her tail, watch her spin around, do it again and giggle. Did I mention he likes to giggle?

Austin ran out of Zoloft this weekend and there was no refill so he was out until Monday, but I didn't remember to get it until yesterday. He has been cranky, but it is my fault. He thought last night that Bruce doesn't like him because he plays with Tessa but not him. I told him Tess made up games for him to play, and she spends more time with him while Austin is always in his room. He told me to make him play with Bruce! Then he calls me into his room, which he said was messy but was spotless when I went in there (?) and said he's ignoring me! Well Bruce was playing with his toy and Austin was calling him. He needs to go to Bruce, not the other way around! They got it figured out and will stick them together more often. Poor Austin's social skills are so bad he doesn't even know how to play with a baby. Not his fault though, it is the PDD. He is doing great in school; he goes for three hours starting today, instead of two. He works in the resource/special ed room (the two are connected) with an aide. I think he is the only special ed student, which is nice. T-F for 15 minutes his friends come down from the classroom and hang out with them. He went to k and first here so he knows students from before. On Monday he went to the classroom for science and lab, watched a film and got an A+ on his paper. Isn't that awesome? He is slowly being integrated into the mainstream classroom. They are doing excellent with him, an I think it is because of the thorough diagnoses he got in Bismarck.

Tessa is sleeping better and not so crabby in the mornings. She finally get addition and is excelling in her timed worksheets. She is onto subtaction and is frustrated, but she will get it. Ther are "regrouping" numbers, and boy do i feel stupid. I told her to ask Mrs. R what that was and so she came home and said I should know it as trading. ? Still lost. So I asked Mrs Crissafulli, Austin's Special Ed teacher, and she said it was borrowing and carrying over. I am such a dumbass. Why couldn't they jsut say that? So now I can help her. But she got confused on a problem and added rather than subtracted. I said tessa, you are borrowing, not carrying over. This makes sense to me, but regrouping means the same for both! Grrr.

I have to go now, I have a busy day and have to go to Fairview and Sidney (60mi one way).
Later,

;D

Noses and revenge

So I was sitting on the floor with Bruce and he was very happy and bouncing around and playing, and he walks over and pointing his finger at me he says "Zthat?" Ah, how cute... then he jabbed that little finger right up my nose! Owee, that hurt. Can you believe it? I got a bloody nose from 13 month old! Yikes...

Of course Chantz thought it was great when I told him. He gets his though. He's been calling me and bragging about the nice weather in Texas. He even called just to tell me he was watching my "favorite movie." I knew what he was talking about- "City of Angels!" I hate that movie, I hate it! The first time we watched it he got so excited. "Yes! That's awesome. Smack!" Jerk. "She didn't get run over by a truck, she ran into the truck!"

Remember I said he gets his? He and his dad are coming home right now and guess what? They have to get a load and go right back. By the time they get there (Texas) the other truck will be fixed, so guess what? You got it, they can turn around and come right home! It's really going to suck, though. Who knows how messed up this is going to get; things never go the way they are supposed to. He irritates me anymore when he is home anyway. When things get back to "normal" it won't be so bad. He was only home so much this last time because the truck was broke. He normally drives locally so we see him a lot more than when he has to go all the way to Conroe, but not as much as when he can't work...

I need to go to bed now. Seven comes so fast...

Howdy howdy howdy, I forgot what I was gonna say

Hey people, if you check this link when there is trouble, you will know what is going on with blogger: (http://status.blogger.com/) Here is an excerpt for those of you too lazy to click on links:

"Just a quick reminder that we will be going ahead with a planned network maintenance on Monday the 6th from 7PM-8PM PST. Blogger and Blog*Spot blogs will be unavailable during that time.
This maintenance won't fix everything, but it will make things better. I promise."
Posted by Pete at 21:18 PST

To find out what was wrong this weekend, you'll just have to go check for yourself because I am not your mom. I think. I am so many people's mom that I may get confused. Sometimes I just get that way.

Oh yeah, my schedule. I am waiting for the perfect planner. In the meantime I bought a 2 year planner for a buck at Albertson's. It will work for appointments. It is one of those checkbook shaped dohickies that isn't much more than a calendar. As for organizing, here is what I have been doing lately. In the mornings before I get to blog or watch TV or even turn on the PC, I clean the kitchen- dishes, counters, sweep, check the garbage (Austin takes it out- I ain't hiking my big prego butt all the way through the yard, to the alley, then down the alley to the middle and back again! No way!), the nuker, pick up any stray toys, toss the laundry downstairs (and wash it; drying- not always!), check the carpet and bathroom and table, etc. Now that I am caught up (my lord was that first day awful!) it only takes me a short while and I feel guilty if I use the PC. So now that I have a routine I am adding to it. I need to dust, check the entry, clean under the garbage can and that little hidden shelf needs to be cleaned up as well. Tomorrow I have to put all that laundry I washed away, and see if that last load I did today, that I have no intention of putting in the dryer tonight, needs to be rewashed or if it can go straight in the dryer. Rocksy needs to be trained; just ten minutes around the yard on her choke chain and 5 or so sitting, staying and laying down inside should do it. She escaped from Austin today; first time since I started her "regimen"- you know, when I became her master? Since she can be dangerous to poor passersby and oncoming traffic, I knew I had to get her right away! How to get her to come? Raw hamburger in the frig! I didn't need to get that messy, Tess was making a baloney sandwich and I grabbed a piece and went out. I squatted down where she could see me and started nibbling on it. When she came near I called her and stuck it out. Oh yeah, who's the man? She ran right up to me and devoured my hand (like I was letting go!) and I grabbed her with the other. No punishment, because then she won't come to me. I put her back on the chain and went my merry way.

Then I need to clean this basement. I need to get the clean matress pad and sheets on my bed- get the trash out and organize it a bit. The shower curtain needs to go up in the bathroom so we can use it. But this is just the "apartment" part. The rest is icky. Rocksy found paper towels- imagine the mess- and there is laundry lint abounds. So I need to sweep and vac. I just don't wanna! I need to call Frank's and make an appointment for our taxes, get stamps, pay these bills- PATH, AES, the credit card and my fine at the courthouse. Don't get your panties in a wad; it was for driving without insurance on the way to get insurance! And I ended up with Geico anyway!

Do I plan to get all that done in one day? No and that is why this works. If I have to let something go to the next day, I let it go. I don't try to do to much or I get overwhelmed. Many of the morning stuff I did tonight so I'm good to go. That is another thing. During the day I keep the living room, bathroom and kitchen "up" so they don't get too bad, and after dinner sometime I clean up. My rule? Don't leave dirty dishes in the sink overnight. That really small load is a lot more than it looks. So I wiped, swept, wet swiffered, and picked up toys already. I even cleaned that entry I had planned for tomorrow. See how easy that was? Now in the morning all I have to do is clean up after the kids then move on to the next stuff. Whew, I am wiped. Ithink I am going to sign off now. I have other stuff to do yet- the goofing off kind.

Damn you Blogger!!!

I am so god damned pissed. This will be my THIRD, yes, third time posting this same post today! If it disappears again I am GOING TO QUIT BLOGGER. This is just ridiculous!!!!! It was there, I saw it, I went to bed, got up and it was gone. I posted it again, saw it and later logged in to edit it. It was on my blog visually, but the damn thing was missing from my edit thingy. Now it is gone completely. Maybe blogger doesn't deserve to see my new fairy. Maybe it should just fudge itself for not answering my emails. Maybe I will just move anyway out of SPITE!!!!!

Here is a fairy I made. The base is from Embrace You Inner Pink. No witty comments or details because by now I am so damn bored with the whole thing!!!!!!!!!!



What the hell, lets go for it. I am going to add another fairy, it is the first doll I made. The "Lollie" doll base is from ElectroniCandy, the dress was inspired by Amy Brown and I made the hair from a tutorial by Angy Chan.



I have also been meaning to mention that I have updated my Haunts section. Please take a moment and visit the new blogs! (Those would be the ones with the *NEW* around them, lol!) I am not so pissed anymore. Now it's up to blogger.

My life in a blog post

I am getting a daily planner. My life is a mess, disorganized, I forget appointments, slip into depression and get nothing done. That is going to change. It will change or things in this house are going to change in a negative way.

I used to have a very nice planner I bought at a university bookstore- it contained my life and is the only reason I made it through college. I don't know where it is now. I forgot I ever had it until I decided to buy one today. It had everything- weekly at a glance, daily- hour by hour, notes, budget, address book, everything and it didn't cost me very much at all! Boss had one, it was $80. WTH? I am now at the Franklin covey website and am searching for that perfect contraction to throw my life into. I need this. I need structure, or I suffer terribly. I am undisciplined. If I knew where the old one was, all I would need to do is buy a refill, but it is probably in the trash somewhere. I will buy it, use it, depend on it like a crutch and refill it next year and the next. I will tell it to tell me when to clean and when to shop and do the checkbook and pay the bills and see the doctor and when I can use the computer. Wellbutrin can only do so much and I can't take meds for adult add when I am pregnant. This I am sure that I have, it makes so much sense. And since I can't get help for it from a little pill I will have to help myself.

I am a firm believer in the power of helping one's self. I used to be that person who waited for help to come from a higher power, who gave herself over entirely to her deity and prayed daily for the burden to be lifted and be given a normal life. I waited a very long time and nothing ever came but more depression (which is a medical illness which needs treatment, in my case) and more misery and confusion. Until I went to school, got educated, opened my mind and for the first time did something for me, by me, on my own. (Getting educated gave me the opportunity to finally understand what my husband had been trying to tell me for years.) I now believe the higher power helps those who help themselves, or at least try to anyway, wholeheartedly. I believe I can do anything I try to do, if I believe I can, through the power of my own will. I give myself over entirely to myself and my family. It is when I forget or let things go or have no reason to put myself out there that I fail, and don't even notice that I am dying. I must watch myself continuously and it isn't easy, especially when doing nothing is so easy. Having 2 children 2 years in a row like this doesn't help.

I need to schedule in more sleep- I am always so exhausted. My yoga instructor is out of town due to family illness and I do not know when she will be back. I would have to swallow my embarrassment and call and ask, and ask if my two missed sessions will carry over, since it is not my fault I only got 4. I paid for 6, right? I don't think they will give me a hard time; they are very nice people. I just don't like to ask. Inhale comes on every morning a 7 on Oxygen and I try to get up on time and do the yoga along with it. I also do it at night as often as I can with the kids; it helps them sleep so much better. The guy on TV said yoga brings the body into balance so the mind can be brought into focus. I think just by dimming lights, using candles, shutting off TV's, and giving the kids time to unwind before bed helps them enormously. The exercise routines are essential as well, and very simple. We do a few sun salutations and cow-cats and some stretches, but the benefits to the kids are amazing. They don't come to me and whine about being uncomfortable, hungry or tired. They don't yell across the house for me or Chantz and are quite pleasant. It is hard adjusting to this routine when Chantz is home, but he got right into it and went downstairs with Austin and Bruce so I can get started with Tessa. I do one kid at a time and put Tessa to bed first. Then I move on to Austin. His routine is simpler and shorter than hers, she is into it more than him. I have run out of words. Ciao.

Overhead

Ok, quick reminder: Chantz's Folks' business has two trucks, one just bought, used. In Texas it got a new motor put in, with a one year warranty. After he got back, it started running badly, so he took it to a Ford dealer in Miles City. The motor is shot, apparently they just got a bad motor from the factory, no biggie, it is under warranty and they get a new one. But will the Ford Dealership in Miles City take care of it? Hell no! They hemmed and hawed about the warranty not being good and blah blah blah... The dealership in Texas that screwed up pays for it, Miles City gets reimbursed for their work. They are worried about getting paid- so the guy from Texas asked Chantz if they could just bring it back to Texas?

Welcome to Montana!

The guys in TX are really great I guess, and are easy going. So they (my inlaws) are going to load it up on the trailer and haul it down to TX to get fixed. They were supposed to leave Monday or Tuesday, but on the way home their transmission went to hell. That is two trucks down, two trucks not making any money. They had this truck towed to Billings and are on their way right now to pick it up. Then they leave for TX.

At first I thought this business made loads of money, but countered by overhead, it seems so small! They may not have to pay for the new motor, but they have to take it to Texas on their own dime, and are missing jobs because both trucks are down. This just really sucks. I would hate to be a small business owner.

Thank God Chantz is on salary!