That's not a cat...

...dying in Austin's closet, but that is what it sounds like. I made Chantz go look, and he told me it wasn't a cat. I asked what the sound was, and he asked me what we had.

A puppy? Yep, Miss Rocksy had a puppy. A big black puppy with white front paws. She is taking care of it; the pup was all cleaned off. We figured it was last night; Austin would have heard it had it been yesterday. Poor dog's been howling outside the past 2 days. Know wonder! And Austin said she's been in his closet messing up the carpet (the leftover carpet we laid down in strips). Rocksy nested.

We replaced the carpet with Austin's comforter (HA HA) so they won't have to lay on the cold concrete. It's so cute when Rocksy looks at us with those "what the #### am I supposed to do?" look in her eyes. Good thing she only had one! And yes, we checked the rest of the house.

Hey there

Thanks guys for all the well wishes! We are doing great but are very busy. We are buying a house in texas and have lots to do. We will be moving soon! I will try to post at least once a week for the next month, ok? Then maybe things will be normal!


Brandy is doing great and Bruce is adjusting well. Austin and Tessa's last day of school is this Friday! Gotta go, too humid to type today.

Brandy Rose...

... is now cuddling in my arms. She is finally sleeping, but she just poo-pood! Silly girl. I snuck downstairs this morning to say hello! Now that I braved the stairs, I won't again for a while. Gave me cramps, lol! We came home yesterday afternoon. I was not going to stay another night! They didn't let me sleep. I guess its a good thing- making patients so uncomfortable they want to go home- but how rude! It wasn't so bad and the operation was great.

Thanks Susie for announcing the news for me! We didn't go with any of my names, oh well. C came up with Brandy, and Rose is my grandmother's name.

Wow, it is hot down here. Got to go!

Later,

;D

Happy Mother's Day

Oh lord, when will the nightmare end?

Still pregnant.

How very sad

The words of compassion that came from the commentors just lifts my heart. What drags it down is that Christians are supposed to be compassionate and sympathetic, and then you get ones like that. They ruin it for the rest. I am talking about a blog I went to today and the owner posted an email that was sent to her, condemning her to hell for being a witch. It was angry and cruel and made me sick. I want no part of it anymore.

I just want to tell you how it warmed my heart that the comments were full of tenderness and understanding, not hate. None of them bashed her (the emailer), they offered to send this lady peace. While it's humorous that they offered it, I beleive it was also offered in sincerity.

The blog is linked to in my haunts section, if you wish to find it yourself. I won't promote this. I just wanted to mention it.

Daddy's Home!

And within half an hour he already found the tv remote. God, I love having a man around the house again!

Stuff

The big C will be home tonight. They like to say early Friday morning, but to me, early in the morning is like 5 or 6, not 1 or 2. 1 or 2 is in the middle of the night! I digress.

He will be home! I have 4 rows completed and only have 4 left. Then I must sew them together, put it together, bind and quilt it.... *sigh*.

Sherry is slow to get started, but once I get her cleaning she keeps going. Vacuuming got interesting, as she moved furniture, and put all the stuff away that I knew was hiding behind them but was too lazy to ever do anything about! Yay... And just the process of vacuuming alone was a pain, since I ran out of Oreck bags and had to wait for them to arrive via UPS. I had been sweeping the carpet, using the handheld, and letting Rocksy clean up after Bruce. She even licks the floor, so isn't that like getting it shampooed? That last bit was a joke. ;p

I am waiting to go to storage until C comes home so I don't have to dig through there to get the baby stuff out. I will direct. I turned Bruce's crib into a bassinet last night and told him it was for the new baby to sleep in. I picked him up and showed him and said it was now ------'s crib now and then turned and pointed to the toddler bed and told him that was Bruce's bed. He laughed when he saw the crib like that. He slept in the bed all night! I laid him down and tucked him in, put up the baby gate and waited in the living room. He fussed, got up, called for me, then fell asleep. He woke a short time later confused, and I put him back to bed and he went to sleep again. He woke again at 3 and I put him into his bed again, and then at 6 this morning. I just put him to bed with me. No way I was letting him get up that early!

And the new baby's name will be ------. Yep that's it. Her middle name might be ----. I am not sure on that yet. C picked it out and I liked it. Sorry guys, it's not going to be Lorelai. Or any other name from my list. I was voted down on every one! I think you will be surprised when you find out her name. I am just not ready to share it yet.

Gilmore Girls blather...

Reasons why I don't think Lorelai and Christopher had intercourse:

1. The look on her face when Chris got back into bed with her was the same look she had on her face when she got up the day before. She looked lost and depressed and very, very sad. It wasn't a "what did I do!?" look at all.
2. Chris respects her to much to take advantage of her. He knows she is engaged and is feeling very sad. I don't think he would sleep with especially if she came over to talk about what happened with Luke.
3. Rory would never forgive her father for breaking Luke and Lorelai apart. She has warned him before to stay away from her mom.
4. If they did sleep together, there would be no going back from it. Her relationship with Luke would be over. She couldn't keep that from him and I don't think the writers want to piss off the fans that much.
5. It made a good cliffhanger.
6. She respects children too much to do that while GG (Christopher's 4 yr old) is home and could walk in on them or something. She never brought a man home, not even once, while Rory lived at home and I can't see her doing that to GG. I think their relationship was platonic, she spent the night, but they didn't get down and dirty.
7. Earlier in the show their wasn't any chemistry between them. It was actually kind of awkward.
8. If that look on her face had been one of regret- she would hve cringed, moved, or something when he put his arm around her. She did nothing but continue to stare into nothing. Lorelai is suffering from depression. I have been there enough to know.
   

Reasons why I think they could have had intercourse:

1. Lorelai felt rejected by Luke and may have turned to Chris for comfort. She has done it before (not while dating Luke). She really took what the shrink said to heart, and may have decided that they aren't meant for each other.
   
2. She may have been drinking.
   
3. Christopher could be a selfish pig. Everyone has been acting out of character this season so it wouldn't surprise me at all.
4. The look on her face could have been shock (but I doubt it).
5. The show is turning into one of those sick soap operas like the rest of the WB's line up- Nothing but Sex and Drama.

(Luke and Lorelai are engaged, he found out he had a 12 year old daughter, didn't tell Lorelai for 3 months, didn't want them to see each other so he could get to know April better, postponed their wedding and didn't realize how much he was hurting Lorelai. She never said anything to him, kept it bottled up, and her fears and doubts overcame her and she doesn't think they will ever get married. She confronted him and since he had know idea she had a problem with this, he was a bit stunned. She asked him to elope. He didn't say yes but he didn't say no either. He needs time to digest what happened. She is acting odd... I wonder if she is pregnant...)

Grrr Arrg!!

Luke and Lorelai really pissed me off tonight.

Especially Lorelai. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

And don't get me started on Christopher. You do not want to know what I think of him!

Jackasses. This is sooo not where this show needs to go. It's turning into a g**amned soap opera!

I told you so!

Today is the 8th of May, people! What did I have scheduled for today? The ultrasound, remember?

It's a girl!

Neener neener! I told you so! Who was right? ME! I just knew it. I always have. Oh yeah, he also said my placenta is ready to go so I will probably go into labor by this weekend, at least! And they can't send C home until Wednesday! This is ridiculous.

Sherry came over today and was a big help. I even got a bath! A real, hot bath with a bath oil bead! I got some errands done and it was just nice having her here to watch Bruce and Rocksy and the big kids. She is coming over tomorrow and we are going to try to plant some herbs in some planters we got. Indoor, work, not too hard. I need to do something fun! I didn't work on the quilt today. I am too tired!

A dawn's hell entry

Granny asked me in an email if I was ok. This is what came out:

Yes and no. Susie finally convinced me I need some help, so cousin Sherry is coming over tomorrow. She can't really do much, but she will be here in case I need her, you know? Help prevent me from SPAZZING or something.

I really can't handle being alone with the kids and this pregnant at the same time- for this long anyway. I keep telling them (Chantz and his parents) that I need him home, but they don't get it. C probably does, but what can he do? I can't come out and say what is really wrong with me, because then they will think I am a psycho (again) or I will have to listen to their stupid advice. People who have never had depression, panic attacks or adult add symptoms (I think I have that, too) can't possibly know what I am going through. My MIL is perfect, remember? She can't sympathize either. Not everyone can, but it makes it worse in this situation. See, they don't get it, so I must be a worthless, lazy, loser, or a high strung, over reactor. They won't call me that, I can hear it in the things that they do say to me, you know? So it wouldn't matter if I told them what goes through my mind and how I get confused and frustrated and lost or freak out and spaz and scream or any of the things that can happen (not all the time, but these things have been occurring more and more as time goes on w/o my backup -chantz- and my hormones go out of whack, you know?). It wouldn't matter because she would tell me I am fine, it's just in my head, not to worry, he will be home soon, blah blah blah...

If I didn't have a better handle on myself I would have called him and cried and begged him to come home, that I thought I would completely lose it if he left me here any longer. But that won't happen to me. I have trained myself to recognize these "malfunctions"- what else to call them?- and take control again. It took a long time to do this. I used to be nuts. The medication is probably what helps the most, though.

I also can't break down because it would disappoint Chantz. I can't fail. A two edge sword, I know. Fear of failing tears me apart, and the consequences of failing keeps me together.

...it costs $700 in gas to get here- out of their pocket if he doesn't have a load to bring back up. So I worry about that too, and so does he. He has a lot to live up to...

Chantz isn't a bad guy. We are just both under a lot of stress, but for different reasons. I can fail, I guess I am to afraid to. I guess it's not really failing, but it seems so to me. I just can't do this anymore. I hope he does leave tomorrow. He needs to leave tomorrow. I need him here.

Been having contractions. Its normal. But last night they were regular and 8 minutes apart. Then they quit. So I am not doing so much today as yesterday.

The play went well, what I got to see of it anyway! Bruce kept talking (in his own language) to the people on stage and when they got louder, he got louder! So I left the camera running and went in the hall. It only ran for an hour, but we still didn't get out of there until an hour after that.

Finished 2 rows on my quilt. I have 6 left. Then I will try to sew them together. Ha! Lets see how that works out. Gotta go. I'm tired.

Flowy

I finally fixed the problems with my darn avatar. I started right away, but never finished until this morning! So, no more creepy eyebrows and the dress is now flowy. That's my word. I made it up and if you say it or type it, its a word! And yes, I said it out loud, so there! :P

You may also notice that it is bigger. This is the actual size. The default blogger code resizes them and that is why they look so squished. I just went into the template and put the original width in the profile container code.

Yeah, as if anyone knows what I am talking about, lol! Anywho, if you would like to make yours look how they are supposed to look, just ask me and I can give you detailed instructions.

Or you can just go away and leave me alone. But I know that will never ever happen as long as Susie, I mean you guys, stick around.

Wow, I am testy today. Naw, I am just teasing. I can do that. I have a baby stomping on my bladder.

Missoula Children's Theater

Tessa got a part in the Missoula Children's Theater production of Robin Hood! She is a snobby aristocrat. How did they know? They get a week to practice and then they perform this Saturday; free to the public. Dawson County High School has an awesomely wicked auditorium- It's huge! With an actual stage. This is a big deal around here. Not many schools have something like this. Its from back when this town had people and money. You know, the last oil boom.

I will be recording it; Chantz and his parents won't be able to make it. He would have to leave tomorrow to get back in time and his folks just left Glendive this morning.

I am working on the quilt. The pattern is layed out and I used the left over peices to practice with. This sucks. Its just plain squares- but lining them up may be a problem. I have to make sure that every piece is the same size. Yes I said practice, which means that I fixed my sewing machine. It wasn't broke. The last time I used it the fabric kept getting stuck in the bottom. C's grandma suggested I use a smaller needle. I found the book it came with and also made sure all the settings were correct for my fabric. No problems yet!

Can't stay, must move on. I have to call JC Penny's.