Kid troubles

Austin is autistic [I will not say "my child with autism"- really people- get over it already[ and has sensory integration disorder. He is high functioning; it is called Asperger's. He is addicted to video games and such and since school has let out has done nothing else. I am sorry- but 8 or more hours a day of gaming for a young child is way too much!! Especially if he does nothing else all day. Austin's development is going to be stunted if we let this continue! My problem is that I am left to entertain him... my husband won't. It isn't until Austin melts down that he realizes that we can't let him play for that long just because dad does.


That is another thing; he needs to get off the damn computer and spend time with the kids. He has been this way since they were born. He makes speeches about how we [meaning not him] avoid our problems by reading or playing or watching TV. What the hell does he think his motivation is? Hello! He is avoiding his family.


So he sees it now and he makes plans he can't follow through with. Next week he will forget all about it. Damn it anyway. I am not strong enough to schedule this house. I just can't! Especially when he is home 24/7. Ick. I cannot wait for him to get a job! When he took 6 weeks paternity leave from school after Bruce was born [to help me[- he spent it on the computer every day that Mike had off- as long as Misty wasn't home. She will not let him be on all day if she is home. [They play Everquest together- and spend almost the entire time on the phone. Not because they have anything to say to each other- but because they are to lazy to type![


I do not control Chantz- by far- but I can be a bitch. Maybe I will have to guilt him as much as I can; try to force him to set an example. He thinks it wrong to make the kids do something if he doesn't do it himself. That idea sounds good but it is flawed; Chantz did not spend his childhood on a machine. He spent it outdoors. He says he doesn't know what to do for fun with them; maybe he should goddamn try. And when we do do something- he has no patience! He is Autistic! He doesn't understand!


I get so frustrated- too. I actually hate having him home all the time. I would like some time to myself- especially if I want to read or use the computer myself- other than at 12:30 in the morning. And if I do these things- I have to here him bitch that I am not cleaning and "don't you wanna move?" Or- god forbid- he cleans or works on the truck and I sit on my ass- do I ever here about it. It is ok for me to watch TV- but nothing else. I say I am bored- he says why don't you clean? Hello- why don't you do something with us- take us to the park or walk; do something outside! We did go for a walk the other day- but not with Austin- and had to come home because I had an allergy attack- and we have had a buttload of snow and rain this week [yes in June[ and we did go to Six Flags- but these don't add up. It isn't enough.


Before you get all inflamed and think "my god what a butthole" and she needs to blah blah blah- realize that Chantz is Autistic too. He does what he can. He does the best he can and that is more than I can say for myself. I just hold it all in until I burst and do nothing but bitch to a computer monitor and react through my fingertips. If I had my head out of my butt and paid attention and homeschooled him every day through the summer like I planned and not whimped out because Chantz is home everyday and not let CHANGE ruffle my feathers to total meltdown- this situation would not have happened. I have depression and I know it and it is my own fault if I don't keep it under control.


I must say that I feel much better having vented. No one reads this anyway. It's like a journal I won't loose- use for something else [like make useless lists to relieve anxiety[ and will most likely update regularly.


Ahhh.


I am going to go to bed now. I am tired. Ok- I will most likely prepare tomorrow's lesson. Sunday or now he is learning. So ha!


By the way- the font I use makes commas look like periods and it is quite confusing [but do download it because it is way cool![ That is why I use dashes. I mean- why I go back and delete all commas and replace with dashes. Yes- I had to do that in that and this sentence as well.


yeesh.