Where the hell is everybody lately?

Many of my favorite bloggers are not blogging. As I am writing this Bruce has gotten himself covered in water, Austin is hyped up and Bruce is driving me nuts. Its 10:30 for christ's sake and I am going to shoot someone soon. Probably myself. Late Friday nights for the kids? Never ever again.

Anyway, now that Austin is upstairs and Bruce is in his crib, still loud but not all over me, I can get on with my point. No one seems to be blogging as much as they did in 05. Is everyone still recuperating from the holidays? Does everyone have a life but me? Maybe its because Chantz is away and I am so very bored without him. We play scrabble deluxe or the farming game or something at night and I miss it. Or he gets on the computer and I watch TV or read a book. But he is gone and the PC is all mine and I post everyday and I comment everyday. Maybe I just need help. He said he should be leaving tomorrow, and would be home Monday maybe. Dumbass Mike, his younger uncle and partner in crime (Everquest), told me he'd call back on Sunday. Sunday? WTF? Its a 36 hour drive. That doesn't count sleeping and stops. There is no way he could be home by Sunday. I just said goodby and hung up- Stargate Atlantis was on and I was trying to watch, so I didn't catch it right away. And when Chantz first left for Texas, Mike thought he would be back by Wednesday- not in TX by Wed, but home.

?

36 hour drive, stops and sleeping, dropping off the load, getting a new load, changing the oil (which they do every trip) and coming back- it would take at least a week- not 3 days! And I told him that. What a moron. And this guy is a nurse? Lets just hope he never reads this. I highly doubt he does anything on the computer that doesn't have to do with Everquest.

I am pissed at him because he is selfish. He plans on calling Chantz as soon as he comes home- to play EQ with him- nevermind he might be exhausted, nevermind he will have to deliver the shit he just brought back the next day- nevermind that after a week away from home he might want to spend time with his family!!!! Chantz doesn't like to hurt people's feelings or tell them no. He is a wussy when it comes to this. He doesn't want to be rude. Instead he will not answer the phone. And sometimes I think he plays just cuz he doesn't want to say no. I have even told Mike when I answered the phone that he can't play because we have plans, he tells me oh no I don't want to play I just need to ask him something, then the fudger gets him to play for an hour! Chantz says , oh he just needs me for a little while. Damn jerk. This guy has a family- 2 kids same age as mine and a wife- he isn't allowed, yes I said it, to play when she is awake (nurse, sleeps days sometimes). And he has the audacity to bully me just cuz my husband ain't @*#sy whipped? I am very tempted to call Misty and bitch to her about it. She can make his life hell. Therefore I can make his life hell. I am just not as mean in real life as I would like to be, so I won't. After the new baby is born, though, all bets are off! He has no respect for our family, I swear! (A younger uncle means he is a year younger than Chantz. Yup- the spoiled youngest son of C's grandfather.)

Chantz likes this game, he doesn't like it as much as Mike. He is getting better and will play games and stuff with me and the kids for a few days and then play with Mike for a few days, rather than all the time. It could be worse, I know. He could be running off to the bar every night. He's just not that kind of guy. He is also avoiding the kids- but this I understand. They get out of hand or are rude, pestering or out and out annoying. (Remember PDD NOS) He avoids them so as not to yell at them. They think I am the mean one and maybe I am. But I can only take so much bullying- then I lose it. I don't realize I am being bullied at first, and give in to get them off of me. Finally it gets to be too much. When I calm down I explain to them that they don't have to bully me- they can at least ask first! Instead they come in both barrels blazing and on the offensive. I explain it and it doesn't sink in. They keep doing the same wrong things over and over...

Thank god Austin goes back to public school on Monday. Those will be the most blessed two hours of my day.

I love my kids, I have just had a hard night, am pregnant, and have a damn panic disorder. And depression. Can't forget the depression. Wellbutrin does what it can, but it isn't a miracle pill. I still have a threshold. Bitching here just makes me feel better. Remember, too, that this is a personal diary and I like to write like when I had no readers. Comment by all means, I am just explaining that sometimes this is my outlet. My only outlet. And now I feel so much better.

Wow, did I get way off topic. Not the direction I intended on going, but that happens when I write. It's a good thing. In creative writing class we got a little booklet- it said that we have the right to write the worst crap we can- just so long as we write. I like that.