August 17, 2007

I'm blanking losing it!!!

I am off that new med! I should go see the Dr again, but I can't afford it right now! She won't put me on any Bi Polar meds because she doesn't think I can pay for it. She only prescribes me what is on Wal-Mart's $4 list. Gee thanks.

Here I am taking Wellbutrin ill*g@lly because she won't prescribe me that, either. Prozac doesn't cut it, because I am in Manic mode right now, and yeah, that Trazadone will knock me out right now, and half off tomorrow! Doesn't do me any good, does it?

For the past few days:
I can't think... formulate thoughts.
I forget what I am doing.
I get confused.
I am edgy and lose it easy.
I don't care about school, and am lagging this week. Don't even want to post. Am willing to lose a few points (for Christ's sake, I only missed two so far and next week is the last. I think I can spare a few).
See? There is something wrong with me.
I have no filter... no angel conscience that tells me, no, you shouldn't die the ends of your hair lavender, because its an extra $20!

Hey, I am no longer two toned... sort of. Before I had 3 inch roots of ash blond hair, the ugliest color on the planet, dull, drab, and blah! The rest was faded red, that I had stripped out. It was horrid.

Now I am all over blond (10), that is more golden, and two thin strands in front are lavender, and the ends are too. Even my layer. (I only have two layers, so...)

I love it, it looks great. I got up at 6 this morning, PUT MAKE UP ON, and put curlers on the ends of my ponytail. And no nappies, either! I am still going on 6 hours sleep, when those monster pills made me sluggish with 12!

Yes, I have been Manic since six o'clock, and fear I cannot slow down.

DeVry sent me a bill for $600, though they told me I would have enough fin aid this semester. Riiight. What is really very clever is the *past due* amount of $250. They never sent me a previous bill! So anyone with a spare 600 bucks just lying around.... call me.

...Not!


Oh yeah, one more thing. Oh wait, never mind. I can't post that idea. Ask me via email about my plan to get bi polar meds. NO NOT ILL%G#LLY! Sheesh, peoples. Just teasin'!

:D

3 comments:

Zanthera Degore said...

Dang girl! that totally sucks. Lithium is that expensive? I knew Zoloft was but there has to be a better way.

As for the new look lovin' it!! I may actually use your source too for my ISP space. Been wanting to do something with that.

Candace said...

You don't want to hear this, so bite my little head off, it's okay. Call the effing doctor. You don't want to screw around with wellbutrin plus other meds w/o a doctor's knowledge - you could have seizures. Find out from her what it will take to get the lithium - maybe there's a program, maybe samples for a while. Do what you know you need to do to take care of yourself. People out here in the blogosphere care about you and you know you have our support. But we can't call the dr. for you. Put yer big girl panties on and call her. Let her help you. LOVE, Candy

Rowan Dawn said...

zanthera- Thanks for the tip- turns out the lithium isn't expensive after all, the doctor just doesn't prefer that one. It's on the four dollar list, and that pleases me. But had she just given it to me at my last appointment, I could have saved $80, and some serious crazy time!!!


candy- thanks for talking me thru this shit today! Without you, I wouldn't have gone down there today and gotten the help I need. :D Oh and thanks for the encouraging words, they always make me feel warm and fuzzy!