Uh oh I'm blogging! You know it's bad!

I feel like poo inside. Sad, bummed, depressed andfor once I know prezactly why. I hate working as a cashier at Kohl's this time of year. It's busy like walmart or a grocery store: non stop checking people out. And I hate it. We got a new manager, so I didn't get to go to shoes. And I'm not familiar with her and well.... I flaked on myself. I'm weak!
I just couldn't tell them how I feel and what I want and the sad part is they do this on purpose. Matilda called me out and said she got anemail that I was leaving. I said yes. And she fucking said no. Pshh as if she has any say in the matter. But if they're going to create an environment where I can't freely speak my mind and I stay, Ima be miserable. It's like they suck the decisiveness out of me. I need to leave and I'm planning my escape.
And this time, I'm not going to cave. I can't live my life to make other people happy. I really can't explain what happens when I try to talk to them. I think they are just very good at getting what they want.
I have to face this. I just don't know how. I need.to quit qnd I need Saturday off.
They have me scheduled on days that I need to work at the other job.... The clients have been waiting for someone for so long that they might lose them if I don't start. I'm trying to do the right thing and its making me sick. I want to tell them to take a flying leap and never go back. Just being there with all those people hurts me. But to do so is irresponsible. Then I feel guilty like I'm just running away. And what about the clients who really need a care giver asap?
Holy fuck just somebody tell me what to do. And by that I mean tell me it's ok to drop Kohl's and how I should do that. I'm miserable.