...and I ain't even in it yet!
I created this blog to bitch about my life. Then my life got better, and now its all fluffy and about my kids and whatever tweaks my fancy. The one things it's not about is my views on religion, and it never will be. Never. I don't even want to discuss religion here, BUT...
My big mouthed little sister, Laura, you know the one we helped find the name of the song for her ringtone? Anyway, she told Saint John that I am a pagan! Actually, she told him I was wiccan, but I am in the process of deciding... of finding my pagan path. I call myself a witch. And this is the only time I will bring this up here, because not everyone is comfortable talking about religion. Emailing about it is fine, tho (even flames).
But do you see? She told St. John, who called my mom and asked for my phone number. And she gave it to him! Yeah! She told me to get over it and that she had to listen to him go on and on and on about it so I could too. My cool mother told him I can do what I want. If he calls me tho, I don't think I will answer the phone. Or maybe I will let Chantz talk to him. I wonder if he would do that for me?
So the cats out of the bag, I am out the broom closet... I told a few friends and family members, the last being Laura. But if ever there were a person in this world I would not want to know, it would be Laura's dad. He knows now and so do you. It's a big deal to me (being pagan) and I am just so surprised she didn't ask me first, or at least tell me. I am not worried about him finding the blog, even if she gave it to him because he is the most inept person on the planet when it comes to computers. He doesn't even no where the mouse is. If by some chance he has discovered technology and comes here, I will just move.
As a child I would have to listen to him go on for hours, HOURS, about Jesus/God stuff and his beliefs. I couldn't stand it. It was so boring and I hated it. I would rather have been reading or playing.
I won't change my mind, I stopped going to church over 9 years ago and I don't want to listen to him go on about how I am going to go to hell. He is in a shitty marriage, his wife is sick and doesn't even live with him (ie, have sex with him), he's lonely but won't divorce her because divorce is a sin and he would go to hell, like Ma is for leaving him and marrying Bill- their marriage is adulterous in his eyes (but Ma left him so he could remarry). This is the type of Christianity I was raised with. Ma is much more grounded in her beliefs than St. John, but she worked a lot and I was exposed to some crazy shit as a kid. Plus, she won't judge me, ever. Ma is a really cool person.
I thought my sister was too, but I really haven't kept in touch with her. She moved away when she was 12, I think, and we have only seen each other a few times in the past 11 years. John moved to New York and took the kids with him a week before I gave birth to my oldest son, Austin! I couldn't believe they left me. Now I see it was probably a good thing, it got me out from under his influence.
8 comments:
Your beliefs are your own and deserving of respect.
And that's probably the last word you will hear from me on the subject (except in email).
Right on, Granny!
Dawn, don't let this guy intimidate you. Answer that phone and say your beliefs are your business but thanks for calling, have a nice day, and HANG UP. Yes, you can do that. Nowhere is it written that you have to put up with being berated by someone whose beliefs are different from yours!
Hold your head up high and stop worrying about a guy who tries to make everyone else feel bad.
My two cents.
Contrary to what many may think a Christian is supposed to be I am one. I find it is a personal relationship that is more about having "faith" in what we can do - not what we can't.
With that being said, your sister is most likely worried about you. She does love you and assumeing that she is a born again Christian she could have spent some nights tossing and turning worrying about your eternal life. Telling John and her other actions were only done out of a pure heart, faith and love for you.
Her only thought of gain would had sincerly been to have her sister with her in heaven someday. I can't see her doing it for any other reason or gain.
We are each free to make our own choices in life. Many of our choices can be painful and some irreversible. Choose wisely and walk in confidence - that would be my only suggestion and bit of advice.
margaret- i am sure she meant nothing bad by it, i just thought she had better judgement than that. plus, she was very curious in our conversation. I just wonder what john filled her head with. he has no idea what it means to be pagan/wiccan. he only knows christianity- his warped view of it, anyway. laura needs to find faith in herself in her relationshi with god. she was raised to beleive women are not strog vessals of god and to turn to john for advice- i know this because i used to be the same way. Laura has enough strength to pray for me. she just needs to beleive in herself more. that is more damaging than anything. she doens't need john for spiritual leadership or guidance. she is a grown woman and needs to learn to face her faith on her own terms. thats all i have to say about that.
It's so hard to know who you can trust with your inner faith. I have learned that one too many times.. or should I say not learned that one too many times.
Thins will roll over and all will be back to what it was. People often get shock then go into denial when hearing someone is out of the mainstream beliefs.
Dawn, this is mom. I don't think Laura meant to hurt you. You know Nate and Laura tell their father everything. And it is probably out of concern for you. I don't preac to you. I did enough of that when you were growing up. It doesn't mean I don't still pray for you, Chantz and the kids. But it is like Margaret says we all have choices to make and we have free will.I love you and I know in the end everything will work out all right for you.
: )
Hey, you! You don't need to justify your beliefs to anyone, you know. Whatever happened to that there freedom of religion thing, eh?
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