My caravan, sort of

Since I am lazy, here are some pics of my new van from the dodge website:



Picture this in forest green. It actually changes colors; sometimes it looks bluegreen.






The 06's have bucket seats in the second row, with a space in the middle. I like this style you see here better, and it is what we have. These two seats both have built in car seats. I can sit next to Bruce if he is crabbing off back there, or one of the kids can. The infloor storage is great; the kids tend to just step on stuff.




I don't know if it does this yet, but the site says all 05's do. Now I can't wait for Chantz to come home so we can play with it some more.






There are a bunch of options we don't have, but we would like to get. The driver side has the power! My seat is adjustable by just pushing a button! I love it, especially since I bruised my tailbone. Makes getting in and out much easier!

Oh, btw, I fell down the stairs on Monday. I am ok, but banged up. We put grip tape on the stairs so it shouldn't happen again. Yup, Dawn slip on her ass all the way down the stairs.

I don't recommend it.

The good news first...

... is that I don't have gestational diabetes. I was supposed to take a glucose tolerance test between 27 and 28 weeks, so of course I waited until the last minute to do it. As a matter of fact, I only went because I was feeling so crappy. See, I thought I might have low blood sugar. So I drank that sweet orangey stuff and an hour later went back to the lab for a blood draw. An hour later I felt normal, and I continued to feel better all night. That was on Friday.

Why is it that everytime I go to take a nap someone will call? No matter what, everytime. The phone will be silent all day, I lay down and it will ring. And keep ringing, damn it. I can't shut the ringer off in case Chantz or his parents call; it could be important. So I wasn't surprised when the phone immediately rang this afternoon. I was surprised it wasn't Chantz. When it said blocked call I assumed it was some damn creditor and if I didn't pick up they'd keep calling. it was Tammy, Dr. Swarny's nurse calling to tell me the good news.

Feeling crappier and more run down than on Friday, I asked her if it was possible that I might have low blood sugar. She said I was in the normal range, but looked again and said my level was 92, meaning I was probably 50 before the test. I asked her what that meant, and she said it meant I was probably hypoglycemic. Should I mention it to Dr. Swarny at our next visit? Yes, she says, and she would make a note of it in my chart. So that's my bad news. This isn't new, I have been like this as long as I can remember, but I just always made sure I ate something and I was fine. But this pregnancy is different. Its not getting better. Ever since Friday I have been craving that orange drink. I hope we can figure something out.

I know many of you have had problems with doctors; I've read the posts. I am so lucky to have Dr. Swarny. Very lucky considering his practice is technically closed. He doesn't take new patients, unless they are in the same family, like my kids. He delivered Tessa, so I had no problem. I didn't have to bully him like the nurses all do (to get him to deliver their kids). He is a family practice doctor and big in our hospital. I like him. His name is Bruce, too! I guess I end with good news, too.

Dream

In this dream a girl I used to work with in the mental health unit at our local hospital and I were taking an intro to nursing course. We both joined the class after it had already started, missing a few weeks each. We started at the same time and they weren't going to give us credit for the class; we would have to take it over. While sleeping I felt this part was familiar, as if I was continuing a dream from before. The girl decides to sue the school into letting her take it for a grade because she could make up the work. For some reason I had not done this yet and the instructor gave her a project to work on but not me. I told them I could do it also and that I was going to sue the school, too. My friend helped me to do that. then I did the project, which was a sewing project. We had to sew a red velvet bag together. A simple bag with two long handles in a square shape. The first time I did mine wrong and had to redo it. I also took the book and turned in work from the first chapter. I really needed to take this class.

Later (after having been awoken by Bruce and moving to the couch because I was irritated that Chantz was sleeping facing me- yeah I get weird when I am tired) in another dream, I was trying to get some from Chantz and stuff kept happening to prevent it. A lot was going on and I don't remember too much except that I finally took care of the "problem" myself. (lmao!)

That's not art...

... they told Peggy Hill.

Hank was looking for a piece of art to purchase to put on the highway into Arland, but of course all the modern art was wierd to this true Texan. So he asks Peggy to make something; she chooses a "Probot," a robot made out of propane tanks. The council goes to approve it and here is there conversation:

"Interesting."
"Yes, Interesting."
"Interesting, what do you think?" This continues and Snobby Lady asks the most important question of this episode, "Who is the artist?"

In comes Peggy Hill, and says it is her and all hell breaks loose. "Aren't you my daughter's substitute Spanish teacher?" "You're not a real artist!" "What a waste of our time!" "Not approved!"

So Hank's boss calls in a "real" art dealer who sees Peggy's Probot on his way into town, offers to buy it and any more she makes and offers to give her a show. She invites the snobby cow from the council and off they go, dressed all fancy. And there at the show is a sign that reads, "I ain't got no learnin' art". Yep, he passed her off as an inbred, uneducated, mountain girl, childbride (she grew up in Montana, married just after highschool and has no formal art education). People liked her art because they felt sorry for her. Snobby Lady smirks and says, "I understand now."

She gets a letter written in a huge font in simple language from the council still denying her art work and demanding it be removed from the highway. The art guy is an ass who refuses to sell her art as from a normal person because no one would buy it. Peggy takes her probot back and wants to destroy it, but Hank's tools are at Srickland Propane. They haul the bot over there and the customers are excited! They loved the Probot, it made them feel safe, etc. And could she make one doing this for their yard? And that guy wants one, too.

Real people want Peggy's Probots.

Apparently, according to King of the Hill, art is only real if it is made by some snotty, smelly true artist- you know, someone who has gone to art school and never bathes. Know what? I bet people really think like that.

F@#kers.

Chantz is working today

Business still hasn't picked up yet. Not till the weather is nicer. So I have the house to myself. Yes!

He told me since the house is my job that I am the boss of the house. So I should tell him (nicely) to get off his ass and do something with that huge cooler in the entry way, etc. He said he might get mad at first, but later on he usually realizes that he shouldn't leave his "socks on the floor". Yes! I have the power! I just can't get pissy or he'll get pissy. He hates it when anyone talks with attitude. For those of you unaware, I am a stay at home mom. That is why I get to be the boss.

I still have a hard time keeping the house clean when he is home. It's just easier for me when he is not around. He needs something to do when he is waiting for a run. The kids act funny when he is home to. Used to be they were bossy and bullies when he was gone and now it is the opposite. I got them to listen and behave for me while he's working and now they are shitheads when he is home. Go figure. We had a busy weekend and didn't do yoga and story time. We were in a hotel for pete's sake! So the past 3 nights have been hell. One break from consistency and all hell breaks loose. I probably could have handled it better, but when they started fighting because they don't like to look at each other during story time I quit reading and told them they could do more yoga or go to bed. (But its not nine yet!!!) We started with yoga to help them get relaxed and not fidgit so much during story time but it didn't work. We started at 7:30 instead or 8- snack, teeth and jammies- to have more time to read. Although Tessa did wait until 7:50 to eat something. (Grrrr). It didn't work. I don't know what to do. I wanted to give up and never do it again. I didn't even want to be in the same room with my kids! Tessa went to bed crying and Austin was pissy (what's new there?). She kept talking thru yoga- being bossy. She has to be in control I swear! I say she can do a sun salutation on her own because mommy can't do all the moves anymore, so don't follow what I do. She says but but but I don't know what to do. So I say fine, I'll tell you as we go. Austin decides to jump in but he is being goofy and distracting me. Tessa blurts out downward facing dog? Tess! I give her freedom and she says she wants me to do it. I do it and she runs her mouth. I can't take it. It isn't just hell hour, they do this crap all day! I stand up to mountain pose and Austin is right in front of me making faces. I push him back (not hard, just out of my space) and say what are you doing? So Tess was crying and he was pissy and the whole thing was a flop. I told them tonight is the last try. They either behave or I am done. They can just go to bed at 8. Austin is grounded from his new game. He gets this way when he finds a new game he really loves. It is starcraft for the PC. Also no goofy cartoons at all. I usually let him watch one a day. He has to stick to dramatic, violent cartoons with a point like transformers and teen titans. Some Disney ones are alright, but no timon and pumba, ed, edd, and eddy or spongebob or jimmy neutron and fairly odd parents. He doesn't realize he can't act like that in real life. Most kids can't handle violence, but Austin understands that isn't real and doesn't go around pretend fighting (like his cousins who can no longer watch power rangers). He is a "stooge" and it drives us nuts.

He had a phonics homework sheet and he did awesome with me and got it done quickly. It didn't get done at school because his aide wouldn't help him sound out the words. She wanted him to do it himself. But he can't! He is a whole to part learner and doesn't get it. So I did it with him. I just make the first sound and then any diphthongs, etc. At school he reads and she writes for him. But she sucks! She wrote "that his a jurk" for "that he's a jerk" twice! on his paper. He said he didn't spell it, she did, and that if he doesn't like how she writes he can do it himself. I don't know if I believe him yet. I'll ask again in a few days and if he says she does do that then I will talk to them. How ridiculous. How is she supposed to teach him if she can't spell herself? F@*#tard!

I made up with Tessa last night and snuggled her as she went to sleep. Austin was still mad. This morning he was bitching because Tessa was moving her feet a little while she sat on the couch. That is the crap I am dealing with here! I am going to make Austin work at home, one page a day I think. The reading workbook I got for homeschooling is the same one Tessa used this year in school! So I know it is a good book to use. I really wish they went to the same school but Washington doesn't have a special ed room. They have the same principal, but it still isn't the same. Tessa's school is better. He will be a fifth grader next year and if we stay here he will go to middle school. He will have to be homeschooled this summer if he is to catch up. They have him doing subtraction when I had him multiplying single digits. The other forth graders are multiplying double digits! His reading work is babyish and well below what he is capable of. They don't want to push him because he can get volatile. He'll get over it! He is going to get bored, I know it! So I am going to get some of my own worksheets going and print them off then I am going to pick out work book pages for him to do. We will keep up the math, too. He will get mad, but I will give him goofy cartoons in return ("what's my motivation?" he'll ask!)

I'll still do reading nights, I was just upset. They need it. We are reading the Great Blueberry Barfoff by R.L. Stine. His Rotten School books are awesome! We now have books one thru three and book five. Seriously, your kids should read them! They are five bucks at Wal-mart. Other titles are: THE GREAT SMELLING BEE / THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE VERY SLIMY / LOSE, TEAM, LOSE! / SHAKE, RATTLE, AND HURL! and THE HEINIE PRIZE. I'd better get going. I have a lot to do and not much time to do it.

Later,

;D

I'm back

Got the van and some cool stuff. Have much to do and money to spend (on bills).

;D

one more night or sewing the seeds of love- dear god please kill me now!

I'm bored and I should go to bed but I don't want to he snores and I have issues just his breathing sounds bother me but I am tired so it might not matter tonight I think the dog is out of her crate and roaming around but I don't want to go look I hear her drop her stupid bone it is huge a nuckle I got in miles city today. she likes it. finally got a hotel one with a pool like I can swim like this my ass is huge it looks funny a big tummy and a big butt legs aren't so big tho I think it looks funny. need to lose this ass. so anyway we are getting a new vehicle and tessa threw a fit over packing want to only take ugly old clothes that don't fit I threw them up high for now told her to pick out a nice not casual outfit just in case and she went for the couple of old shirts I left out for her dumb cow. makes me so mad a damn drama queen i swear what to do with her? hung all her clothes up in outfits so she can find them ( I like to mix and match! That's fine tessa but you had them all shoved on a shelf you don't have to wear them like that grrr) I told her to pick out a fancy outfit after giving in to her ugly bathing suit and wolfy wolfy shirt- long story- more I gave more she cried. said pick one of these she said all that is cruddy so I grabbed all her new clothes that me and grandma bought and threw them in the box in the hall she says that's not what I meant. what is her problem? you won't have to wear it it is just in case we decide to go somewhere nice. I refuse to let her wear ripped, stained, old, too small clothes it is embarrassing and ridiculous she needs to let go already. some are nice but not appropriate for photos or restaurants. so picked it out myself. she still cried then finally said that shirt with that outfit god what was her malfunction? she does this shit to me all the time, know who else acted like that? my little sister. drove me nuts. I think they are the same sign what luck for me. drama drama drama want to pull out my hair. would rather listen to Austin scream and throw shit and stomp and threaten me for hours on end than put up with that whining baby crap: oh my life sucks! whatever not even close not compared to my childhood where people were actually mean to me and I mean my family. we get her nice stuff are nice to her don't make her do loads of chores spend time with her read to her but ask her to do something for me cuz I am busy and she throws a fit and cries. tell her she cannot wear that and she will brush her hair and out come the tears. I tell her stop tess I don't feel sorry for you. girl tears just make it worse please quit and so she cries harder and louder my god sometimes I swear! do I give in? not hardly! know why? giving in a little or even compromising makes it worse she wants more her life sucks even worse argh but Bruce is cute and was biting me today little bites and he giggled at me bit me on the boob! then he fell asleep wierd kid. gotta go to old navy- asswipe, fucktard has always missed it but not this time they have maternity clothes and kids stuff and goddamn it we are going stupid fucktard! I like that word need to get swim stuff for the boys and me- can't find any old stuff and maybe something for tess so she won't wear that ugly one I let her take make me gag oh but her friend gave it too her. argh boys are easier I swear I love tess she just drives me insane wait till she is a teenager I will have to lock her up! or become super good at reverse psychology or something. tummy hurts need to eat or something. goodnight now. can't get those damn songs out of my head either...

Not that anyone cares...

... but hopefully we will be going to billings tomorrow. I was gone all day on a run with chantz and started to get overwhelmed when I got home. But hey, I have all night to get ready. So I decided to take a breather and relax. So here I am relaxing! (And rewashing a load of laundry I forgot to put away!)

The car dealer was in a hurry cuz his sales month ended today and he needed one more sale to be associate of the month or something. I told him we couldn't come down until Friday or Saturday. Actually I told him day one we wouldn't have money until Friday. Like I am going to Billings without cash!!! And no we didn't want to buy a van over the phone and have it delivered, although it is a four hour trip. Did I mention that? Yeah, the nearest mall is either 4 hours east or 4 hours west. I really wanted to go to Bismarck to blow cash, but who the hell wants to pay sales tax on a vehicle? So Billings it is. I just could drive in Bismarck because we lived there. It is a very nice town. City. Whatever!

We need stuff for the house! Containers and Bruce's new bed and a potty chair and everything else! After I settle down I will put on some comfortable clothes and see if he wants to clean out the truck tonight at the shop or tomorrow morning. I'd rather get it done tonight. I am going to pack- I am not forgetting the stroller! Another shower sounds good, too, but I just finished dishes and the laundry is on hot tonight. I guess I will visit my blogging friends!

Later.

Just a quickie

...because I am tired. The bike is cool. We went out to some park area for orv's for him to practice. It was a but bit muddy. We let Rocksy off the leash- and she came back to us! She ran and ran! She loved it out there. It is raining today so no way are we going back. I couldn't sleep last night- I kept thinking about money stuff. I am very very tired now.

filled out a form from the bar none website (car loans for people with bad or no credit). Its cool because they won't turn us down! So I have been dealing with this dealership in Billings but have to wait till Chantz isn't so busy to really get shit done. He wants and SUV over a van cuz he thinks it will get stuck. But they told me the van sits about 8 inches higher than my car. Its an 05 Caravan. I might just see if he wants to go to Billings so we can look for ourselves. It has to have less than 50,000 miles on it. They really want to do this because their work month ends tomorrow and he'd like to get in a sale (the finance guy told me. I like him!) But they can wait. I am in no hurry. I have the down payment now so I would rather not wait.

Too much. Musttt ssslllleeeeepppppp...

My baby got an A!

Austin got an A on his science test! This wasn't a little quiz, but a really long test with multiple choice, essay questions and he had to make a chart and a pictograph! He got only 1 wrong! The subject was electromagnetics, something he is interested in.

Austin works with an Aide and some of the test was done orally, with the Aide filling in for him because his writing isn't very good. It is their compromise: Austin reads if she will write. He did the chart and graph completely by himself, though! Wow! For those of you who do not know this is very impressive (he is diagnosed with PDD NOS). He only goes to school for 3 hours a day and science is the only subject he spends in the regular classroom. As we lengthen his day, he will be incorporated into the class for other subjects like math and history. He will continue English and reading in the special ed room.

We have to do something super special for him. Chantz gets paid on Wednesday and we will have to think of something to celebrate. And he wasn't in all that good of a mood this morning. I am just beaming! I looked over that test and there are things I don't even know!

**Update**
Grandpa told Austin that for going back to public school (he was previously homeschooled due to his behavior) and doing well he would buy him a motorcycle (dirtbike) this spring. He is picking Austin up at 2 to take him down to look for one and measure his size! They were thinking a 90 or something. Isn't this cool?

And I'm still sick

***Grossness Warning: the following post refers to bodily functions in some detail. Proceed with caution!***


I have this terrible thing called post nasal drip. Which means I also have a sore throat, since snot keeps running down it. That makes me gag, choke, and cough. I cough so forcefully that my whole body convulses. Then guess what happens? Yep, I pee! I get colds, then I get stuck with post nasal drip for 2 or 3 weeks of hell. I take claritin, but it isn't working too well right now.

At least I am not up in the mountains this year. I have allergies up there that make my throat constrict, my body convulse and breathing very hard to do. Plus there's that pee thing. I bought these thick pads last spring, but can't find them and I had a bunch left (I got pregnant in August, remember? No allergies, no period, the dang things should be here somewhere!). Now I have to wait to tomorrow to get them so I don't feel like an old incontinent lady. A pregnant, old incontinent lady! Benedryl works great, but it knocks me out for at least two hours! The only other thing to stop the dripping is tylenol cold and allergy or cold and sinus- yellow pills. Trust me, I have tried every antihistamine out there.

Know what doctors prescribe for PND? Decongestants. "Let's just let it run!" Ok, then it pours down my throat rather than drip, causing me to choke so hard I throw up. That happened when I was pregnant with Bruce and I had a sinus infection. The doc gave me a decongestant, and all I had to eat or drink was blue gatorade, thank god! Can you imagine hocking up red gatorade in the shower? That would have been nasty(er)! Plus it makes the soar throat worse!

I try to clear my throat like my aunt and grandma do; they have suffered allergies for years, but it just doesn't seem to help. It hurts less, and I don't "you know", but I do it constantly! Blowing my nose constantly gets annoying, and sleep? Ha! The best cough drops are the ones that numb the throat completely (oral anesthetics), I cannot recall their name right now. They taste like shit, but work great. I just googled cough drops... Sucrets! That's it! Extra strength Sucrets!

The dog is howling. Gotta go!

Tessa's Dolls

Here are three dolls that Tessa made. The first two we worked on together, the last one she did all by herself.




The bases for these are by Angy Chan of Yume Studio.

Isn't she talented? My favorite is the last one. She doesn't have any shading yet, but her style is very original. Tess has a great imagination!

New doll

Here is a doll I made for a contest I am participating in. Remember this is mine, so no stealing, FredCQ!

(I kill me...)



The base is from embraceyourinnerpink.com. I swear that name makes me giggle. Oh I am so not feeling good today. I am a bit loopy and haven't even had any cold medicine!

The neat background with the column- I made that. I actually have a much bigger image for this doll. All from scratch. *sigh*

I am still sick. It has moved to my chest. I even drank tea! Black of course because I think sweetened tea is discusting. And I am burping up the fish oil pill I took. Bleck.

I am all sweaty and gross- I took a shower last night before bed! I have an itchy cough and I am so tired. It snowed, the kids are home (no school today, but they had school on Monday, go figure) and the boys are playing xbox. A dumb shrek game that they don't like; they must be bored. Who knows what Tessa is doing. Maybe she will let me read to her. This way I get to read a book and not get shit for it. Reading is very addictive.

Gotta go now, bye!

I

am sick and so I am going to take a long hot bath with bubbles, read Redwall and pass out. I made cookies today and joined a health club and picked up my taxes which only cost $60 and it is way cheaper than it should be and that is so cool. I may not be around because I hate being sick and am going to try to suck sympathy from Chantz. It never works, but I must try.

bye bye!

*sigh*

When I don't have anything to say, is that when I actually have the most? The house is gross. I got behind last week when Chantz was home because I felt sick and let him cook supper. He cleaned up the first meal, but not the second because he had to leave. When I cook I fill the sink and wash dishes as I go. He didn't. I couldn't look at that mess with out feeling overwhelmed. Its cleaned up, but I am not caught up yet. I have dishes from last night on the counter and I want to cry. I'll do it, I won't leave that mess for him to see when he comes home tonight. I'll have to do the whole kitchen. Tessa made a mess in her room again and it'll take a week just to get her to clean it. Chantz "dumped" austin's closet- into a room that had been very clean. So now I have to get him to do that, too!

Let's see, I have laundry, the kitchen, the floors, the bathroom and my room to clean. I'll do the laundry and kitchen today and save the rest for tomorrow. This way I won't feel bad if I can't get those other things done, and will feel good if I stretch and get some of the tomorrow's done today. Tessa gets a very much needed hair cut today at 4! Finally! I found a picture of her with her best cut for her type of hair and I am taking it with. I also need to call and find out what the payoff on our pickup is so we can get that paid for. That is what we want to do with our refund this year: pay off our credit cards, the bed, the washer/dryer, the truck, my fine and past due bills. I also plan on purchasing a toddler bed and mattress for Bruce. It is a toss up between a wooden one and a cute blue Winnie the Pooh bed. There is a big baby sale at Kmart this week and I might have to get whatever is left.

I will probably have to put it on layaway, because our tax guy had a bad sinus infection last week and was not able to get our taxes in right away. Its a good thing I stopped by to check on it because he moved it to the top of the pile and he apologized profusely. So now we are not sure if it is going to come this Friday or next. This sucks because I told the people we owe money to that we were getting it on Friday. They did however expect me to mail the money in, so that gives me a week anyway. I will just pay by phone, I guess. I was hoping to get this over with. I hate owing people money. When we were first married we owed money on nothing and lived quite comfortably on minimum wage. Of course the kids are more expensive now and our gas bill is atrocious, but he makes a tad more than minimum wage, lol! (Bruce that just took off his clean diaper and tossed it on the desk, "ka ka ka.")

So if I get my cleaning done and get a shower in when and if babyboy naps, I can go to Kmart and check out that baby sale. Oh did I mention that I got the basement shower done? WE are going to test it now! Later!

"Tha's Ka Ka!"

Yum, we bought some Bar S polish dogs yesterday! They are so good! Or at least we think so. I offered Bruce a piece of it and like a good boy who tries and loves everything, he shoved it in his mouth, bun and all. Oh my! You should have seen the look on his face as he spit it out! He was disgusted!

Later, when Tessa came home from school, I offered her one. She likes them, too. She putz's around the kitchen for a few minuses and then sits in the rocking chair, polish dog and bun in hand. My little sweetie poo walks up to her, points at her food and emphatically exclaims, "Tha's Ka Ka!" If he could have, I am sure he would have put it in the garbage for her. It was sooo very funny! I think he was warning Tessa of the dangers of polish sausage!

Isn't he cute?

---

It is very cold here, about 20 below. I told Austin to sit in the car as he waited for the bus. But he stood there in the cold (uh, gee George...) I am like, Austin, get in the car!!! And the dumb bitch I call a dog? She takes off through the front door and out into the cold! And what do I think? You stupid dog, I hope you get run over and die! I hate you! Hmm, I really thought I had gotten over that. I am afraid because she is dangerous to strangers. She would probably bite someone who approached her. Plus she is a pure bred. Someone might (try to ) steal her. Then they would get bit! Did I mention it is freezing out? I got some baloney and tracked her down and got her in pretty quick. I hope this doesn't become a game of escape-get-baloney. Then I will get really mad!

Poor baby...

I've got 15 minutes!

Because Mike's wife forgot her "lunch" (RN, night shift) so Chantz is taking a break from everquest. Only because I asked. Isn't he nice?

Alice (mil) watched the heathens last night while we went to the Rainbow Club in Wibaux for a valentine's day dinner. He used to work there and everyone knows him and they usually have really good food. Usually. We got a table, got waited on, then we waited. And waited, but so was everyone else. We ordered the 2 for $40 special: one appetizer (moz chz stix), two entrees (8oz lobster tail, 14oz blackened ribeye, med rare) and a desert. We got the stix and then continued to wait, my salad by now long gone. And then the table next to us (my yoga instructor, btw) who came in after us, with the same server- got their food. Huh, they ordered the same thing as us, hmmm... and what? thats not the right potato? "Excuse me, we ordered before them.." "Sorry, once the ticket is up it is out of my hands."

Um, so she should have gone and looked, right? So we wait and wait and wait and if he didn't know them we would have left. So Chantz asks the other server if she'll go see if she can find our ticket; maybe it disappeared. So she tells our server who goes into the kitchen. We wait. She comes out and tells us our order will be ready soon. And it was. How ironic, that it is ready after she searches for it. C-"She probably forgot to put our ticket up. It wouldn't be the first time she has ever done that." Me- "We got the appetizer..." C- "How many people do you think ordered chz stix? She probably just took one that came up." Me- "Oh." And since she blamed everyone under the sun but herself, including the owner, that is what I am going with. We were there for HOURS. Three or four tables that came in after us got there food before we did! She should have checked when I said something. Or maybe I could have been more assertive.

Oh, and our food? It came with the wrong potato. Imagine that.

"Wha? Huh? Oh Lord, am I dumb!"

My MIL has the car and put the new door on it so it is drivable (yes, she is the perfect woman, I know. I concede this.) Chantz just needs to wire it in and put the inner panel on. He brought a carcharger from the shop and got my truck running! Yay! I wouldn't dream of driving his truck, it is massive.

Freedom at last! I even went to WIC and the grocery store alone today! It was heavenly... and the bath, oh the hot bath I had... splendor.

Guess who is sleeping again? But I can't blame him. He has spent much time on the road or in a hotel the last few weeks. He is wiped out.

And Katy, I haven't heard from you in a while. I feared you walked off the side of the earth (it is flat, you know!) And while I do love milk, it was for the baby. He eats food and drinks juice, but if he doesn't get his bottles of milk he gets pretty ornery (pronounced "onree", here in MT). I did drink some orange juice the other day, actually. I get all this juice from WIC and after a while apple and grape get boring. Know what Chantz brought up from Texas? Strawberries! Juicy, cold strawberries and I have been chowing on them so much I will probably awake in the morning to find I have turned bright red! He brought bags of oranges, too.

And oddly enough, my teeth don't hurt one bit (from the fruit, people- keep up). And Alice (the MIL) isn't just perfect for putting a car door on, or cleaning and vacuuming my car, or knowing everything else she knows, but mostly because of one little thing she said to me. 5 little words. I have many errands and Bruce goes with me, he is very heavy, I have a bad back, I carry him all over the place... do you see where I am going with this? So after one day of great pain, my mil asked me the simplest question that I am sure will alter my life forever, or at least until I pop this thing (the new baby) out of me. She said something so profound that I will never, at least for a while, complain about her use of our back door rather than the front door. So, do you know what she said to me? Huh? Do you?

She said, "Don't you have a stroller?"

Yay

He's Home!

It's Sunday!

I have a doll I am working on for a contest that I haven't finished yet. I know if I start I won't be able to stop untill it's done, so its on the backburner.

I spent yesterday working on a new template for Fred CQ. I couldn't get the blogger code to work in the new layout, so I simply customized his old one. I made the header graphic, it looks pretty cool. I would have saved much time just using the old one to begin with. I don't know why it wouldn't work, I have made many of my own. Probably a simple mistake!

Chantz never came home this morning, so I figured they were delivering the tools. I got a hold of him in Sidney (oddly, there is no coverage between towns!) and he is on his way to Williston, then hopefully he will come home. I really need the car! Gee wiz, they could of dropped it off on their way through town! But its ok, they are in a hurry and will be home in a few hours- three, maybe?

I am staying off, because if I start anything today I won't be able to stop! I am going upstairs to read The Mystery of Ireta.

La de da...

Chantz is coming home! He should be here late tomorrow night sometime. Hopefully he will get to stay, but if he does I may not be around for a few days, so don't spaz on me, now...

How about a list of some of the things I have done lately:

• Left the lights on in the truck and killed the battery. It is still dead and there is no one to help me get my car which I...
  
• Left at my MIL's house and we are out of milk. So I have to walk 8 blocks to Loaf and Jug tomorrow. Just great.
• Dyed my hair, finally. I think I was just bored with that color and that's why I put off doing it. I used a darker shade of red (burgundy, Garnier 100% Color) by the same brand as the lighter red. This one has more brown in it. The other was bright, but faded to carrot...
• Found out that my baby likes it when the kids smell his feet
• Smacked Rocksy's butt and gave her a major scolding like you wouldn't believe. Do you know what she did? She chewed on my bamboo stir fry spoon that I have had for 12 years!!!! It was the best wooden spoon ( it is almost flat) I have ever had, and was indestructible, or so I thought. Dumb *****! I think it may still be usable, but still makes me mad. It just isn't the same. So if someone wants to buy me a new Bamboo spoon...
• Trained Rocksy today. In the house, on the leash: heel, sit, heel, sit, down, stay (all with "good girl" praises). Then I had her sit, let go the leash, backed up a few feet and had her stay. Then I squatted down and called her to me and she came! But do you know what she did then? SHE PEED! Right on my carpet. We tried it again, she peed again! This is submissive peeing and it is the first time she has ever done that "for" me. I think it was last nights scolding (she pouted in the entry way for a long time afterwards) that did it.
  

That's all I can think of right now. I am going to pee and then read my book, The Mystery of Ireta by Anne McCaffrey.

;D

UPDATE

So Susie do very kindly informed me that it is time to update. Here are some of her questions:

"okay, it's time for you to update the darn blog. whats baby bruce up to? Hows Austin doing in school? Do his teachers like him?"


Bruce is doing great! He is toddling around the house like he owns the place. I bought a multi colored toy ball with bells inside at the dollar store and he loves to play ball with Tessa. He likes to throw it over the gate and make her go get it. She figured out to just go on the other side and toss it back and forth plays some tag game with him, too. It involves much screaming and giggling- from both of them. He had been a little crabby at times, but not as bad as before. He may be teething again. He is super well behaved. At the accountants yesterday he sat in a chair quietly sucking his thumb and rubbing his ear. So I gave him a Dum Dum sucker, which he sat there quietly eating. The tax guy was impressed. For dinner the other day, I put into a sectioned plate baked beans, corn, mashed potatoes and finely chopped pork. He ate the beans and corn by hand, played and ate the potatoes, but tossed the meat into a pile away from him- not scattered or on the floor, just in a pile over there. He didn't like it. How cute is that? He throws his garbage away, as well as toys and other objects he thinks should go in the trash, lol. He will shut the frig if I ask him to, and it makes hi giggle. He has a new game to play with rocksy, which she actually plays back... touch her tail, watch her spin around, do it again and giggle. Did I mention he likes to giggle?

Austin ran out of Zoloft this weekend and there was no refill so he was out until Monday, but I didn't remember to get it until yesterday. He has been cranky, but it is my fault. He thought last night that Bruce doesn't like him because he plays with Tessa but not him. I told him Tess made up games for him to play, and she spends more time with him while Austin is always in his room. He told me to make him play with Bruce! Then he calls me into his room, which he said was messy but was spotless when I went in there (?) and said he's ignoring me! Well Bruce was playing with his toy and Austin was calling him. He needs to go to Bruce, not the other way around! They got it figured out and will stick them together more often. Poor Austin's social skills are so bad he doesn't even know how to play with a baby. Not his fault though, it is the PDD. He is doing great in school; he goes for three hours starting today, instead of two. He works in the resource/special ed room (the two are connected) with an aide. I think he is the only special ed student, which is nice. T-F for 15 minutes his friends come down from the classroom and hang out with them. He went to k and first here so he knows students from before. On Monday he went to the classroom for science and lab, watched a film and got an A+ on his paper. Isn't that awesome? He is slowly being integrated into the mainstream classroom. They are doing excellent with him, an I think it is because of the thorough diagnoses he got in Bismarck.

Tessa is sleeping better and not so crabby in the mornings. She finally get addition and is excelling in her timed worksheets. She is onto subtaction and is frustrated, but she will get it. Ther are "regrouping" numbers, and boy do i feel stupid. I told her to ask Mrs. R what that was and so she came home and said I should know it as trading. ? Still lost. So I asked Mrs Crissafulli, Austin's Special Ed teacher, and she said it was borrowing and carrying over. I am such a dumbass. Why couldn't they jsut say that? So now I can help her. But she got confused on a problem and added rather than subtracted. I said tessa, you are borrowing, not carrying over. This makes sense to me, but regrouping means the same for both! Grrr.

I have to go now, I have a busy day and have to go to Fairview and Sidney (60mi one way).
Later,

;D

Noses and revenge

So I was sitting on the floor with Bruce and he was very happy and bouncing around and playing, and he walks over and pointing his finger at me he says "Zthat?" Ah, how cute... then he jabbed that little finger right up my nose! Owee, that hurt. Can you believe it? I got a bloody nose from 13 month old! Yikes...

Of course Chantz thought it was great when I told him. He gets his though. He's been calling me and bragging about the nice weather in Texas. He even called just to tell me he was watching my "favorite movie." I knew what he was talking about- "City of Angels!" I hate that movie, I hate it! The first time we watched it he got so excited. "Yes! That's awesome. Smack!" Jerk. "She didn't get run over by a truck, she ran into the truck!"

Remember I said he gets his? He and his dad are coming home right now and guess what? They have to get a load and go right back. By the time they get there (Texas) the other truck will be fixed, so guess what? You got it, they can turn around and come right home! It's really going to suck, though. Who knows how messed up this is going to get; things never go the way they are supposed to. He irritates me anymore when he is home anyway. When things get back to "normal" it won't be so bad. He was only home so much this last time because the truck was broke. He normally drives locally so we see him a lot more than when he has to go all the way to Conroe, but not as much as when he can't work...

I need to go to bed now. Seven comes so fast...

Howdy howdy howdy, I forgot what I was gonna say

Hey people, if you check this link when there is trouble, you will know what is going on with blogger: (http://status.blogger.com/) Here is an excerpt for those of you too lazy to click on links:

"Just a quick reminder that we will be going ahead with a planned network maintenance on Monday the 6th from 7PM-8PM PST. Blogger and Blog*Spot blogs will be unavailable during that time.
This maintenance won't fix everything, but it will make things better. I promise."
Posted by Pete at 21:18 PST

To find out what was wrong this weekend, you'll just have to go check for yourself because I am not your mom. I think. I am so many people's mom that I may get confused. Sometimes I just get that way.

Oh yeah, my schedule. I am waiting for the perfect planner. In the meantime I bought a 2 year planner for a buck at Albertson's. It will work for appointments. It is one of those checkbook shaped dohickies that isn't much more than a calendar. As for organizing, here is what I have been doing lately. In the mornings before I get to blog or watch TV or even turn on the PC, I clean the kitchen- dishes, counters, sweep, check the garbage (Austin takes it out- I ain't hiking my big prego butt all the way through the yard, to the alley, then down the alley to the middle and back again! No way!), the nuker, pick up any stray toys, toss the laundry downstairs (and wash it; drying- not always!), check the carpet and bathroom and table, etc. Now that I am caught up (my lord was that first day awful!) it only takes me a short while and I feel guilty if I use the PC. So now that I have a routine I am adding to it. I need to dust, check the entry, clean under the garbage can and that little hidden shelf needs to be cleaned up as well. Tomorrow I have to put all that laundry I washed away, and see if that last load I did today, that I have no intention of putting in the dryer tonight, needs to be rewashed or if it can go straight in the dryer. Rocksy needs to be trained; just ten minutes around the yard on her choke chain and 5 or so sitting, staying and laying down inside should do it. She escaped from Austin today; first time since I started her "regimen"- you know, when I became her master? Since she can be dangerous to poor passersby and oncoming traffic, I knew I had to get her right away! How to get her to come? Raw hamburger in the frig! I didn't need to get that messy, Tess was making a baloney sandwich and I grabbed a piece and went out. I squatted down where she could see me and started nibbling on it. When she came near I called her and stuck it out. Oh yeah, who's the man? She ran right up to me and devoured my hand (like I was letting go!) and I grabbed her with the other. No punishment, because then she won't come to me. I put her back on the chain and went my merry way.

Then I need to clean this basement. I need to get the clean matress pad and sheets on my bed- get the trash out and organize it a bit. The shower curtain needs to go up in the bathroom so we can use it. But this is just the "apartment" part. The rest is icky. Rocksy found paper towels- imagine the mess- and there is laundry lint abounds. So I need to sweep and vac. I just don't wanna! I need to call Frank's and make an appointment for our taxes, get stamps, pay these bills- PATH, AES, the credit card and my fine at the courthouse. Don't get your panties in a wad; it was for driving without insurance on the way to get insurance! And I ended up with Geico anyway!

Do I plan to get all that done in one day? No and that is why this works. If I have to let something go to the next day, I let it go. I don't try to do to much or I get overwhelmed. Many of the morning stuff I did tonight so I'm good to go. That is another thing. During the day I keep the living room, bathroom and kitchen "up" so they don't get too bad, and after dinner sometime I clean up. My rule? Don't leave dirty dishes in the sink overnight. That really small load is a lot more than it looks. So I wiped, swept, wet swiffered, and picked up toys already. I even cleaned that entry I had planned for tomorrow. See how easy that was? Now in the morning all I have to do is clean up after the kids then move on to the next stuff. Whew, I am wiped. Ithink I am going to sign off now. I have other stuff to do yet- the goofing off kind.

Damn you Blogger!!!

I am so god damned pissed. This will be my THIRD, yes, third time posting this same post today! If it disappears again I am GOING TO QUIT BLOGGER. This is just ridiculous!!!!! It was there, I saw it, I went to bed, got up and it was gone. I posted it again, saw it and later logged in to edit it. It was on my blog visually, but the damn thing was missing from my edit thingy. Now it is gone completely. Maybe blogger doesn't deserve to see my new fairy. Maybe it should just fudge itself for not answering my emails. Maybe I will just move anyway out of SPITE!!!!!

Here is a fairy I made. The base is from Embrace You Inner Pink. No witty comments or details because by now I am so damn bored with the whole thing!!!!!!!!!!



What the hell, lets go for it. I am going to add another fairy, it is the first doll I made. The "Lollie" doll base is from ElectroniCandy, the dress was inspired by Amy Brown and I made the hair from a tutorial by Angy Chan.



I have also been meaning to mention that I have updated my Haunts section. Please take a moment and visit the new blogs! (Those would be the ones with the *NEW* around them, lol!) I am not so pissed anymore. Now it's up to blogger.

My life in a blog post

I am getting a daily planner. My life is a mess, disorganized, I forget appointments, slip into depression and get nothing done. That is going to change. It will change or things in this house are going to change in a negative way.

I used to have a very nice planner I bought at a university bookstore- it contained my life and is the only reason I made it through college. I don't know where it is now. I forgot I ever had it until I decided to buy one today. It had everything- weekly at a glance, daily- hour by hour, notes, budget, address book, everything and it didn't cost me very much at all! Boss had one, it was $80. WTH? I am now at the Franklin covey website and am searching for that perfect contraction to throw my life into. I need this. I need structure, or I suffer terribly. I am undisciplined. If I knew where the old one was, all I would need to do is buy a refill, but it is probably in the trash somewhere. I will buy it, use it, depend on it like a crutch and refill it next year and the next. I will tell it to tell me when to clean and when to shop and do the checkbook and pay the bills and see the doctor and when I can use the computer. Wellbutrin can only do so much and I can't take meds for adult add when I am pregnant. This I am sure that I have, it makes so much sense. And since I can't get help for it from a little pill I will have to help myself.

I am a firm believer in the power of helping one's self. I used to be that person who waited for help to come from a higher power, who gave herself over entirely to her deity and prayed daily for the burden to be lifted and be given a normal life. I waited a very long time and nothing ever came but more depression (which is a medical illness which needs treatment, in my case) and more misery and confusion. Until I went to school, got educated, opened my mind and for the first time did something for me, by me, on my own. (Getting educated gave me the opportunity to finally understand what my husband had been trying to tell me for years.) I now believe the higher power helps those who help themselves, or at least try to anyway, wholeheartedly. I believe I can do anything I try to do, if I believe I can, through the power of my own will. I give myself over entirely to myself and my family. It is when I forget or let things go or have no reason to put myself out there that I fail, and don't even notice that I am dying. I must watch myself continuously and it isn't easy, especially when doing nothing is so easy. Having 2 children 2 years in a row like this doesn't help.

I need to schedule in more sleep- I am always so exhausted. My yoga instructor is out of town due to family illness and I do not know when she will be back. I would have to swallow my embarrassment and call and ask, and ask if my two missed sessions will carry over, since it is not my fault I only got 4. I paid for 6, right? I don't think they will give me a hard time; they are very nice people. I just don't like to ask. Inhale comes on every morning a 7 on Oxygen and I try to get up on time and do the yoga along with it. I also do it at night as often as I can with the kids; it helps them sleep so much better. The guy on TV said yoga brings the body into balance so the mind can be brought into focus. I think just by dimming lights, using candles, shutting off TV's, and giving the kids time to unwind before bed helps them enormously. The exercise routines are essential as well, and very simple. We do a few sun salutations and cow-cats and some stretches, but the benefits to the kids are amazing. They don't come to me and whine about being uncomfortable, hungry or tired. They don't yell across the house for me or Chantz and are quite pleasant. It is hard adjusting to this routine when Chantz is home, but he got right into it and went downstairs with Austin and Bruce so I can get started with Tessa. I do one kid at a time and put Tessa to bed first. Then I move on to Austin. His routine is simpler and shorter than hers, she is into it more than him. I have run out of words. Ciao.

Overhead

Ok, quick reminder: Chantz's Folks' business has two trucks, one just bought, used. In Texas it got a new motor put in, with a one year warranty. After he got back, it started running badly, so he took it to a Ford dealer in Miles City. The motor is shot, apparently they just got a bad motor from the factory, no biggie, it is under warranty and they get a new one. But will the Ford Dealership in Miles City take care of it? Hell no! They hemmed and hawed about the warranty not being good and blah blah blah... The dealership in Texas that screwed up pays for it, Miles City gets reimbursed for their work. They are worried about getting paid- so the guy from Texas asked Chantz if they could just bring it back to Texas?

Welcome to Montana!

The guys in TX are really great I guess, and are easy going. So they (my inlaws) are going to load it up on the trailer and haul it down to TX to get fixed. They were supposed to leave Monday or Tuesday, but on the way home their transmission went to hell. That is two trucks down, two trucks not making any money. They had this truck towed to Billings and are on their way right now to pick it up. Then they leave for TX.

At first I thought this business made loads of money, but countered by overhead, it seems so small! They may not have to pay for the new motor, but they have to take it to Texas on their own dime, and are missing jobs because both trucks are down. This just really sucks. I would hate to be a small business owner.

Thank God Chantz is on salary!

Another Quiz, blame Ann!

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 7/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

What I have been up to

I haven't been blogging as much. I have found a new hobby and I really like it. My daughter likes it, too.

When you think of pixel art, you probably think (A)What the heck is that? or (B) Eww, country stuff. Well, you are wrong, in this case. I am talking about dolls. I found a bunch of doll "bases", ie, naked, bald "dolls" that I downloaded. I gave them some hair and clothes and yay! I made a doll. Pixel art just refers to how it is done. It is not a simple process- it is very time consuming.

That is why I ask you, yeah right, am ordering you to not steal any of the dolls I post here, ok? Again, I decorated it, I did not make the doll itself! I am linking back to the site where I borrowed the base. Please, if you want one, go there and follow her rules. Thanks!

I made the background some time ago from a tutorial at PSP Users Group and was inspired by Amy Brown for her hair. This was a lot of fun and I will be posting more soon. This is actually the second doll I made. Expect my first doll soon!

New corpse!

:: never fall together/love you sweetly/oh well/humpty's hunger ::

Quiz!

Today

The weather is beautiful today. I went to town in a tee shirt and left bruce in his jammies. As I was driving down "main" (merrill ave), I noticed the sign at the bank, one of those that gives useful things like time and weather. It's a whopping 49 degrees out today.

Absolutely beautiful. Gotta love living in Montana!

None of this

none of this is mine
none of this is me
in a moment, in a flash
you will take it from me;
you will leave.
none of this is mine,
you have made that clear to me
and yet I am here,
living once again (as) a stranger
once again unwanted, a burden, a thing.
none of this is mine
do you even love me?

Dawn Dschaak
written by me on 1/21/06
Thanks Katy, for reminding me to be me.

Tagged

Four Jobs You've Had In Your Life
1) Maid (hotels)
2) Waitress (too many to count)
3) Answered phones at an inbound call center
4) Patient Care Aide at the hospital

Four Movies You Could Watch Over And Over
1) Pirates of the Carribean
2) Star Wars Series
3) Princess Bride
4) matrix series

Four Places You've Lived
1) Upstate New York
2) Sidney & Glendive, Montana (current location)
3) Dickinson & Bismark, North Dakota
4) Laramie, Wyoming

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch
1) Stargate SG1
2) Gilmore Girls
3) CSI (Las Vegas, Baby!)
4) Smallville

Four Places You've Been On Vacation
1) Fort Peck Lake, Fort Peck Montana
2) Upstate New York
3) Too big a loser to really go on vacation
4)

Four Blogs You Visit Daily
1) Ornamental Illness
2) My Gobhole
3) Fred's World (weekly)
4) I'd rather be a kitty
5) Sentenced to Write
6) Chapterhouse, etc....

Four Of Your Favorite Foods
1) Seafood
2) Pizza
3) Chocolate
4) Ribeye

Four Places You'd Rather Be
1) In a home that I own
2) right here
3) right here
4) right here- maybe that's my problem.

Four (Albums) Authors You Can't Live Without
(Ok I'm cheating here.)
1) Terry Brooks
2) David and Leigh Eddings
3) Ann McCaffrey
4) Elizabeth Moon

Four Vehicles You've Owned
1) Chevy Cavalier (current)
2) Dodge Dakota (current)
3) Ford Ranger
4) Nissan Pickup (I didn't actually own this, my husband did)

People to tag: all of you who haven't done this one yet.

Updated: I forgot to put where I lived, oops. It's fixed now.

Grrrowl!

Ok, this just pissed me off. This genius read the forth book in a series, without ever having read the first three, and had the audacity to say that it was silly, simple and a disappointment. Well no shit, Sherlock! You cannot start at the end of a series and expect to know what is going on! I haven't read this book, but have read the first three; they are awesome, just like everything else she has ever written.

What a moron! Lord, just when I thought people couldn't get any dumber. At least now I know what book to get on interlibrary loan next week!

Oh and look, it was posted on my last birthday. Add insult to injury why don't you! (Yes, that was sarcasm, not narcissism.)

My irony

The other morning, flipping channels, I stopped at MTV and VH1- both were playing sappy music; the kind of music that I hate. The kind of music you expected VH1 to play back in the very early 90's- before it became "cool", I mean a clone of MTV. You know, that slow, whiney, male-singing disjointed crap that is so popular these days. I thought I would vomet. Once again I thought "how can this crap be so damn popular? I hated shit like this when I was a teenager; why the hell are they buying this crap? Damn bunch of pansies anyway..." All this passed through my mind in four flips, until I got to The View, which I never watch. And there she was, a little, blonde slice of heaven, singing an accoustic version of "Time After Time". Thank you Cindi Lauper, for brightening up my day. I don't know what kids are thinking these days, I swear.

*sigh*

I said I would

And now I am. Updating that is. I finally broke down, bundled up Bruce and took him and Tessa to the store to get baby Tylenol and baby Advil. I was hoping he could fall asleep so the kids could watch him. I didn't want to take him out in this weather. His fever didn't go down, I ran out of ibuprofen and decided to go. It was only 100.9 (armpit) but still I worry. That and he was screaming! This adorable boy who hardly cries was screeching and screaming and I rocked him and talked to him and he still continued. He calmed down in the truck and at the store. I think he liked being someplace different. Already I can see how rational he is and that he understands me. Austin would have kept screaming and kept screaming and on and on... Now he is feeling much better and I have laid him down to sleep.

The template is by Veronica and it features artwork by Jessica Galbreth. Many of Veronica's linkware templates feature artwork by others; this is why they are free. In agreement with the artists, she doesn't make money off their work. She even customized the title and the main menu buttons for me. She included a blank one and I make the titles for the rest. Her shareware templates are her own creations and are great, too. But I love this one. I think fairies are great. I love Amy Brown's work so much that my husband even knows who she is and can recognize her work (and call me up from a mall in Casper and tease me relentlessly about the store with all her figurines!) So head on over there for some nice graphics, if you are interested!

Speaking of Chantz, he is in a hotel in Texas tonight waiting for the tools to be built. This part is frustrating. These tools are in such high demand by the oil field that you may not get the tools being built for you to deliver! Some guy at some other rig with more clout can come and "steal" your tools. Then you have to wait longer. When this happens though, they try to get them done even faster. For those of you who don't know what I am talking about I will explain. He delivers tools for "directional" drilling. They look like long pipes, but there are motors in them and high tech electronic equipment and computers that monitor stuff. They are slightly angled at the bottom, hence "directional". Many wells can be drilled from just one hole. This saves time and money. These motors run for hours on end and eventually break down. These are called dirties. The "hotshot" driver picks them up and takes them to the place to be repaired. This could be in many places. His parents usually go to Texas and back, but this month has been very busy for them (drilling companies have a deadline to meet!) so he has gotten to go to Texas twice. Of course, once fixed, they then need to be delivered to the rigs- which are in the damnedest places sometimes. Just that alone can occupy Chantz for a whole day! He drives a F450 with a forty foot trailer. I have gone along and sometimes it is fun, others it is boring. No long trips; my doctor won't allow it. I haven't spoke to Chantz since this morning; I figure he needs his sleep. He had another driver, but sleeping in a truck is not the same as sleeping in a bed!

I am supposed to be doing the checkbook, but I left it upstairs and I am lazy. Tomorrow, taxes. At the accountant silly! No way am I doing it. It is worth the $80 to make sure it is done right! If Alice's accountant is more than H&R Block, I will do it through them online (with a real person). I live in a teeny town now with no H&R Block! I will bore you no longer.

Damn blogger! Made me say "NO!" and Bruce hollered! Go back to sleep, go back to sleep... please.

New Design

It is by Folkvangar.com.ar.

I will update more later. Baby is sick.

Chantz is home

and goddamn it he is snoring! Argh. And to top it off, cheapass's bed is way too small. He never said a queen was to expensive, he told me we didn't need one, our queen was too big, a full was just fine. I didn't argue much; he seemed set. But with me pregnant, and I am only going to get much, much bigger, and the fact that we are both bigger than we were 10 years ago, a full is no longer possible!

Yeah, cheapass tells me tonight when I am whining to get a job and get one, they're too expensive. What? It's at the most $100 more. Ooo, it'll take a whole extra 2 months to pay off. Big deal! I am calling Koch's tomorrow to see if they have an exchange or return policy. Plus we tend to roll to the middle. Our old crappy queen didn't even roll! I am never letting him pick out a bed again. He went with his mom to get Sherry a new bed and he decided we should get the same one. So I went and only tried out that one. I should know better by now. Don't let Chantz make decisions. Maybe we'll get lucky and they will have a queen in stock. But I will wait. This is something we have to live with for years.

**Update**

I finally went to bed at 3 something this morning. I just wasn't tired. I usually sleep near the wall and last night before I got up I was squished between Chantz and the wall. When I came back to bed he was in my spot, so I slept on the outside- and had plenty of room to sprawl out! He was just hogging me before! I really don't like to be snuggled, I am the snuggler and he was bugging me. So, he gets the wall, I get the outside, and the bed is just fine! I am glad that is settled.

I've been Tagged

by Susie. How evil of her. Here it is:

2x2 list:
2 names you go by: Dawn, mom
2 parts of your heritage: redneck and hick
2 things that scare you: rats and more rats
2 of your everyday essentials: water and chocolate
2 things you are wearing right now: purple and white polka dot socks and a nursing nightgown I stole from the hospital when Bruce was born. It is pink.
2 things you want in a relationship: my own way and attention
2 truths: life sucks, babies are cute
2 of your favorite hobbies: reading and digital art
2 things you want really badly: new curtains and some cool nicknacks (these adorable ethnic elephants form target)
2 places you want to go on vacation: florida and texas
2 things you want to do before you die: win the lottery and see austin succeed
2 ways that you are stereotypically a chick: dragonflies and lavender (the color)
2 things you are thinking about now: i need to go to bed and do I really have to do this?
2 stores you shop at: albertsons and kmart (small town, people)
2 weird habits: picking at my head (oh my god, I do this too Susie!) and popping my back
2 favorite items in the house: my new washer and dryer and the computer
2 stores I wish we had: target and hot topic
2 things that make me cry: rejection and thinking of my father
2 things I wish I could do different: nothing, I dont want to change the past
2 things I do very badly: clean the house and kiss 9it can get gross, sorry)
2 hidden talents: I had better not say
2 other email names: cloud_eyora and blewberry
2 difficult paths I took: challenging my childhood religion and rejecting it and becoming a real person
2 people to tag: Fred and FredCQ (and I suppose I will let you two change "chick" to guy, although leaving it would be interesting!)

Oh and guys, you have to add one of your own at the end. Sorry I forgot to add that.

Where the hell is everybody lately?

Many of my favorite bloggers are not blogging. As I am writing this Bruce has gotten himself covered in water, Austin is hyped up and Bruce is driving me nuts. Its 10:30 for christ's sake and I am going to shoot someone soon. Probably myself. Late Friday nights for the kids? Never ever again.

Anyway, now that Austin is upstairs and Bruce is in his crib, still loud but not all over me, I can get on with my point. No one seems to be blogging as much as they did in 05. Is everyone still recuperating from the holidays? Does everyone have a life but me? Maybe its because Chantz is away and I am so very bored without him. We play scrabble deluxe or the farming game or something at night and I miss it. Or he gets on the computer and I watch TV or read a book. But he is gone and the PC is all mine and I post everyday and I comment everyday. Maybe I just need help. He said he should be leaving tomorrow, and would be home Monday maybe. Dumbass Mike, his younger uncle and partner in crime (Everquest), told me he'd call back on Sunday. Sunday? WTF? Its a 36 hour drive. That doesn't count sleeping and stops. There is no way he could be home by Sunday. I just said goodby and hung up- Stargate Atlantis was on and I was trying to watch, so I didn't catch it right away. And when Chantz first left for Texas, Mike thought he would be back by Wednesday- not in TX by Wed, but home.

?

36 hour drive, stops and sleeping, dropping off the load, getting a new load, changing the oil (which they do every trip) and coming back- it would take at least a week- not 3 days! And I told him that. What a moron. And this guy is a nurse? Lets just hope he never reads this. I highly doubt he does anything on the computer that doesn't have to do with Everquest.

I am pissed at him because he is selfish. He plans on calling Chantz as soon as he comes home- to play EQ with him- nevermind he might be exhausted, nevermind he will have to deliver the shit he just brought back the next day- nevermind that after a week away from home he might want to spend time with his family!!!! Chantz doesn't like to hurt people's feelings or tell them no. He is a wussy when it comes to this. He doesn't want to be rude. Instead he will not answer the phone. And sometimes I think he plays just cuz he doesn't want to say no. I have even told Mike when I answered the phone that he can't play because we have plans, he tells me oh no I don't want to play I just need to ask him something, then the fudger gets him to play for an hour! Chantz says , oh he just needs me for a little while. Damn jerk. This guy has a family- 2 kids same age as mine and a wife- he isn't allowed, yes I said it, to play when she is awake (nurse, sleeps days sometimes). And he has the audacity to bully me just cuz my husband ain't @*#sy whipped? I am very tempted to call Misty and bitch to her about it. She can make his life hell. Therefore I can make his life hell. I am just not as mean in real life as I would like to be, so I won't. After the new baby is born, though, all bets are off! He has no respect for our family, I swear! (A younger uncle means he is a year younger than Chantz. Yup- the spoiled youngest son of C's grandfather.)

Chantz likes this game, he doesn't like it as much as Mike. He is getting better and will play games and stuff with me and the kids for a few days and then play with Mike for a few days, rather than all the time. It could be worse, I know. He could be running off to the bar every night. He's just not that kind of guy. He is also avoiding the kids- but this I understand. They get out of hand or are rude, pestering or out and out annoying. (Remember PDD NOS) He avoids them so as not to yell at them. They think I am the mean one and maybe I am. But I can only take so much bullying- then I lose it. I don't realize I am being bullied at first, and give in to get them off of me. Finally it gets to be too much. When I calm down I explain to them that they don't have to bully me- they can at least ask first! Instead they come in both barrels blazing and on the offensive. I explain it and it doesn't sink in. They keep doing the same wrong things over and over...

Thank god Austin goes back to public school on Monday. Those will be the most blessed two hours of my day.

I love my kids, I have just had a hard night, am pregnant, and have a damn panic disorder. And depression. Can't forget the depression. Wellbutrin does what it can, but it isn't a miracle pill. I still have a threshold. Bitching here just makes me feel better. Remember, too, that this is a personal diary and I like to write like when I had no readers. Comment by all means, I am just explaining that sometimes this is my outlet. My only outlet. And now I feel so much better.

Wow, did I get way off topic. Not the direction I intended on going, but that happens when I write. It's a good thing. In creative writing class we got a little booklet- it said that we have the right to write the worst crap we can- just so long as we write. I like that.